Destiny against Choice
by Lune-diamant
Summary: Back in ancient times, their souls met for the first time. Accomplishing what was forbidden, they were put to death, but only to reappear. In current times, Sakura dreams of a past. A past she shares with her soul mate. They must get back together-or not?
1. His gravitational pull

**Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.**

I FOUND A MANGA WHERE WE CAN FIND THE TWINS OF SAKURA AND SYAORAN! It's Moe Kare. It's really good! Try it.

Now that it is said, here is my new story. I'll use a lot of historical events and facts. I'll do my best to explain everything in the story. I won't be too sharp on this, but I will do some researches.... but I'll certainly stop one day, 'cause I'll get tired of it...lol... Not the good attitude for someone who must accomplish five more years (minimum) of university.

Well, on with it.

_thoughts = italic_

my blabla = normal

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter one: Your gravitational pull

3 500 years B.C. : Japan

I never thought it would end up like this. If I had been more realistic, then maybe... but I had never showed any interest in being down to earth. Optimism was all I ever knew even when everything was falling down on us. I should have listen to him and let him be... this way, he would have lived and have children, but I stole it all from him. I wanted so much to be with him! And one marvellous day, he finally gave in. He didn't want to, but he couldn't deny his heart. I should have stayed away from him. Maybe he would have been able to keep from seeing me.

I seriously doubt it now that our bodies are becoming one. We are like the two sides of a penny; we can't live without the other one... And Fate decided we would be born enemies. But nothing matters at this moment, when our arms and legs are tangled up together and our hands are caressing each other's sweaty skin. All our senses are exploding each time our naked hips are colliding against each other's creating a wave of pure ecstasy. No, nothing matters. Our love for each other has no bindings, no limits.

In this moment of pure joy and love, we scarcely feel the earthquake under our body. In fact, we barely mind the fact that we're unifying our bodies and souls in a cavern hidden by a waterfall.

Finally, we both reach our climax, a growling sound coming from outside the cavern accompanying our gasps and screams of pleasure. Skin against skin, muscles tensed, rapid breathes; we stayed still for a moment, his weight soothing my racing heart. He lowered his head to kiss me once again.

"Wo ai ni, Ying Fa."

"Wo ai ni, Xiao Lang."

He offers me one of his smiles to die for, but suddenly, it's disappearing. Sadness pours into his magnificent hazel eyes. Slowly, he slides off of me, letting the coldness biting my skin. Afraid of what I may see, I slowly lay my eyes on his form. A spear has found its way into the flesh of my lover's back.

"Xiao Lang! Xiao Lang, answer me!" I look at his wound; I can't retire the weapon or he would lose even more blood.

I hear sounds outside. I intensely scrutinise the waterfall, hoping for another strike to end my life with the one of my partner. Finally, the blessed pain strikes me with all its anger. I fall down on my back, the spear in my stomach and my head towards Xiao Lang. He still lives. I crawl to his form and shakily raise my hand to his cheek. His eyes are focused on mines.

"I'm sorry, Xiao Lang. It's all my fault."

"Baka! It's not your fault. It's your blessing (cough). Thanks to you, I know true love and true joy. I'm not afraid to die if it's by your side. Always remember: Wo ai ni." Tears are pouring down my emerald eyes, eyes that are supposed to laugh for him; a promise I had always kept for him until now.

"Wo ai ni, Xiao Lang. For all eternity." With his last strength, his face reaches mine and Xiao Lang lays one last kiss on my lips. Lifeless, his head falls down by my side and all is left for me is to wait for death. A red pool is forming beneath us, pouring from our two bodies.

I feel less and less present. Fog is clouding my vision. Humanly forms reaches for us: my brother and my best friend are both by side, praising me to stay alive while Xiao Lang's cousin cries over his corpse. My lifeless body is wrapped in my friend's arms while my brother is trying to have a conversation with the girl who was supposed to bear my lover's children.

"In their next lives, these two must never become one. Kami-sama has showed his disapproval by making coinciding their sin with the rage of the sacred volcano." My brother's voice is stern and as hard as stone, the echo in the cavern creating a atmosphere of damnation. Even if I feel like I'm fading away, each word burns me like if I was thrown into fire alive. And I can't help, but think : _Blessing, not disapproval..._

"Our clan will leave for the lands where the sun sets. Their soul will never meet again. Whatever may be the tools our clan will have to use..." My lover's promised one seems devastated; I feel so guilty, but it is Destiny. "For all eternity, I'll reborn into his guardian to prevent those events to happen once again." I can't see my brother anymore, but I hear his nod.

My vision darkens on the pure face on my dear friend crying her heart out. She remains silent, but I understand her sorrow for I would be crushed if she had been in the same situation. She was aware of my relationship with Xiao Lang, but I know she never betrayed me. How I wish to smile to give her strength! How I wish to tell her that everything will be alright! Because it will. Xiao Lang and I did what Kami-sama wanted from us and he gave us this Love we cherished until the end.

I can feel the last thread of my life shattering while I recall the memory of my soul mate softly smiling at me, his loving eyes delivering his sweet thoughts he keeps for me only.

_Xiao Lang!_

* * *

Current era : Japan

I woke up screaming his name, a name I had never really heard, only dreamed. Since four full years, I had been dreaming of this scene; always the same one. I was sixteen years old when I first experienced those assaults from my subconscious.

At the beginning, I thought I was becoming a pervert and a masochist, but at twenty, I knew better. It certainly was a manifestation of some frights and desires: frights of being alone and rejected by the ones I love and desires for a big romance.

Romance. I was with no doubt lacking it. After twenty years of existence, I was still alone and a virgin of any emotional relationship.

It wasn't that I was ugly or anything, I was average: average breast, average butt, average weight... Like almost every women I hated my thighs and I didn't really appreciate my round face, a really common characteristic of Asian people. The only stunning features I had was my sparkling emerald eyes accentuated by my naturally jet black furnished eyelashes and my pink and perfectly shaped lips. I had some flirts too, but when it was time to become serious, I was always running away... like if something was restraining me from giving my heart to those nice guys. I knew that it certainly was because I was afraid of intimacy, but even if I kept repeating myself this, I couldn't let go my fright.

Wrapped into the darkness, I took a peek at my alarm clock. It was five in the morning and there was no need to get out of my bed for still thirty minutes. Then, I would have to get prepared for university. I hate it when I wake up before I have to.

Therefore, I remained into bed, thinking once again about my weird dream. I was positive I had never seen this man, my so-called lover, in my life. I couldn't forget such features! Broad shoulders, tanned skin, perfectly defined muscles, squared jaw, nice straight nose and eyes to die for slightly hidden by messy chocolate hair. Yes, definitely memorable.

I then recalled the woman in the dream. She couldn't be mistaken; it was me. Even if I was living the dream each time, I could clearly recognise the heart shaped birth mark on my ankle... How I was able to notice the mark on my pale skin while I'm participating in the dream will remain untold...

I shook the thought out of my mind and focus on the other characters. Except for the fiancée of my lover, they seemed a bit familiar even if I wasn't so sure about that. Plus, while dying, my vision wasn't really reliable... but judging by the look of their clothes and style, they reminded me of the first tribe who decided to establish themselves on the lands of Japan. My father was an archaeologist and he had done a lot of conferences on them after some diggings in Japan's depths. Like him, I had always been interested in ancient history, culture and myths.

Their legends were really amazing! Even if their vision of the world was a bit fantasist, they still had great sense of reality. Of course, some were a bit more imaginative like the one of the Wolf and Wild Cat. The Ainu people had used those animals to name two different rival clans. It was said that a wild cat had seduced a wolf after falling in love with it at first sight. They kept meeting in secrecy until they were found by both clans guided by the spirits of the forest. They ran away and tried to live their passion. Once they finally believed they were safe, they abandoned themselves to each other, accomplishing the sacred union with the life realm. The spirits were so disgusted by their actions that they ordered both clans to join forces to sacrifice those traitors to their race. To show the Ainu people how serious the matter was, the spirits provoked the earth and the fire sleeping into the highest mountain of Japan at the exact moment the two fugitives experienced true happiness.

My father used to tell me this story when I was little saying he had found the story in my mother's diary who had died when I was only seven years old. She had kept it out of my reach, but after her death, my father had thought the story was a great way to educate me. He wanted me to understand that people, culture and mentality change. What those two clans did was racism and those two lovers might have been the embryo of a cultural revolution. He also added that I would always be the master of my life; never will spirits or Kami-sama decide of my destiny. If I believed in something, I had to stick to it no matter what.

Of course, at sixteen years old, I had forgotten about this story, but a year later, while looking into my mother's stuff, I discovered the diary holding this weird legend. I immediately noticed the similarities between the end of the story and my dream, but later, I understood what had happened: somewhere, in the depth of my brain, I had stored the myth and when I became old enough to have emotional urges, my subconscious mixed my thoughts with this old story. At seventeen, it was a relief to finally explain what was happening in my head even if I couldn't understand why I would dream so many times of this scene... This is certainly one of the reasons I decided to study psychology...

When I found back this myth I couldn't help but notice how spirits, Kami-sama, God, Allah etc. were always described as merciful beings, but when it came to love and sex, they were also always eager to make the sinners pay and we, mere human beings, listen their judgement without questioning. And why was the woman always the seductress?

I do not hate those images of power and justice; I just do not consider myself as their creation. All of them are made from and for human beings' purposes. There might be something or someone almighty somewhere, but it would certainly not be like we all imagine it.

Still, I believe I am more a society's child then Its child. I believe in humanism; human beings are not born with a dark side, they develop it because of their environment and they chose their own path, good or bad.

My alarm clock shook me out of my reverie with a popular song of Hamasaki Ayumi; perfect to wake up in a good mood. I stirred and tossed to finally abandon the warmth of my bed. I went into the small corridors, passed the door of my best friend's bedroom she was sharing with her boyfriend. Tomoyo-chan was studying fashion in a famous university in Tokyo while Eriol-kun had already finished his baccalaureate in international law. He was the best of his class as always. Afterwards, he began his demanding stages. I didn't dare to open their door, knowing perfectly what had been going on behind it the previous night.

I entered the bathroom and hastily took a shower. I then brushed my teeth, put my favourite perfume on and went back to my room to dry my soft sleek chestnut hair with my hairdryer, taking afterwards my curling tong to curl a bit my mid-arm length hair. I put on a pair of black jeans and a long-sleeves purple shirt and applied some makeup on my eyelids. Looking into the mirror, I approved my work. I would never look like those Barbies, but I was still satisfied with what I had.

I took my already prepared backpack and headed towards our empty kitchen. Tomoyo-chan had no classes this morning and Eriol-kun didn't have to get up until seven. Hastily, I looked into the fridge to acknowledge its state since after my morning class, I would go to the grocery store; it was my turn this week.

After writing a "good day" note to Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-kun, I put on my warm coat, got out of the apartment and locked the door. Once outside, the cold wind began to sting any exposed piece of flesh and to mess with my hair making me regret all the time I put into it.

The iced sidewalk was slippery even with the salt that had been spread by the city employees. Luckily, I had thought about wearing my long leather boots; therefore, I wasn't cold and I probably wouldn't fall... even if I was the world greatest klutz. It was only the beginning of December and a snowstorm had already occurred few days ago. Some districts had even suffered from a blackout.

I looked up at the still dark sky. Here in Tokyo, there was almost no way to see stars unlike at home... I missed Tomoeda, where I had lived with my father and brother.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. I took a peek over my shoulder and noticed a tall man walking ten meters away from me. I ignored it since I would soon reach the nearest metro station. I quickly checked the time on my cell phone before entering the wagon. Quarter to seven and I was in for one hour of public transport. I found out a seat and took a place.

Placing my headphones on my ears, I began to scrutinise the people around me; a game I had create to pass time. I would analyse their clothes, their facial expressions, their accessories. This morning, I laid my choice on the guy who had been behind me a few minutes before. His hood was put over his head covering slightly his features, but I could still appreciate his shaved and nicely defined jaw and straight nose. His kin was naturally tanned and the little strands of hair I could see were rich brown.

The man was dressed with no real sense of fashion, but I noticed his coat and boots were not cheap at all. In fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if they were of high quality. His hands were in his pockets and he had his headphones on. He seemed like if he wanted to pass for an average young adult to hide how rich he was... atleast he was doing it with style. Suddenly, he turned his head towards me; I hastily looked away, heat spreading on my cheeks. Normally, people were too obsessed by their own thoughts to notice I was watching them.

I didn't look back and got a huge book out of my backpack; the second _Millenium_ from Stieg Larsson. I was still at the beginning because my exams were going to start the following week, but after being caught, it was the best thing to do.

After a moment, I realised the sweaty smell that was stinging my nose for ten minutes had been replaced with a more suave one: Armani or maybe Lacoste... an expensive one anyway. I slightly turned my head to the right and realised the man who had seen me was sitting by my side. His large hands were no longer in his pockets so I could see he had several big rings adding a rocker touch to his attitude.

I returned my gaze towards the wagon's window who was at my right. Afterwards, I didn't move a muscle. I couldn't explain why I was so anxious; it was as if electricity was running up and down my body. I wouldn't be able to explain what happened next. Somehow, his hands on his knees briefly touched mine; it was an accident with no doubt, but still something unexplainable occurred.

Suddenly, my lungs and heart disappeared from my chest leaving me empty and silent while my head was strongly believing I was freely falling down into nothingness. My vision blanked.

* * *

3500 years B.C. : Japan

I observe him, rage growling into my chest. Perched on my branch, I can see every movement he accomplishes. The spear in my hand feels heavy in my hand because of the role I will soon give to it. He finally turns his back towards me, not acknowledging my presence.

Swiftly, I quit my observation spot and jump on a Wolf. His bare torso leaves his flesh defenceless to my strike. In mid air, I position my spear to dig into his skin with no mercy. Hastily, he turns around, grabs my weapon with both hand and swings it to his side while I'm still holding onto it. I harshly hit a huge trunk, leaving me breathless. He shows no emotion; he knew I was there.

His eyes are scrutinising me, judging me, but he makes no attempt to approach me. Holding onto the tree, I shakily get on my feet. Immediately removing a knife from my fur hand-made skirt, I quickly get into a fighting stance and rush onto him, a war cry escaping from my lips. My mind is empty; all I want is to kill one of the Wolf clan.

More poise than me, he dodges my attack, grabs my waist and spins me to the ground. I land on the grass, his body above mine. His legs prevent mine from moving while his hands are holding mine. His piercing hazel eyes seem to search for answers into my soul, but strangely, I don't feel violated. I shake off the weird feeling and get back to struggling. I try to do not look at his face anymore: he's too beautiful for my own good. He tightens his grip, but keeps a distance between me and his body.

"Why are you trying to kill me?" His voice his deep and warm even if he tries to harden it. His leadership leaks from it. Hastily, I push aside the examination of his sexy voice, focusing on my anger and despair.

"You dog! You and your clan attacked my mother and raped her. She had no other choice, but to kill herself, dirtied by your damned skin and blood!! I'll kill you, I swear!!" My enemy doesn't even flinch... Even if I maybe see his jaw tensing up... Certainly my imagination...

"I wasn't there. I have nothing to do with it." A snort escapes from my throat.

"Why should I care if you did it or not?! You are all pigs anyway! Atleast, it's one less Wolf to take care of!"

"Killing me won't bring back your mother." I can feel my tears rolling down my cheeks even if I tried so hard to appear strong.

"Then atleast kill me because it hurts too much!" He finally reacted to my words. I can reed surprise on his face... surprise and pain.

"I don't want to do that." Anger is boiling in my veins.

"Then what?! You're going to rape me like you pals did?" Slowly, he imprisons both of my hands into only one of his and caresses my moist cheeks with the free one, erasing my tears.

"You're strong and bold. You're a loving daughter. You deserve to live. You deserve to be happy no matter which clan you belong to. I'm sorry for your mother. I'll find out who did it and punish them, but don't ever approach one of my kind ever again. You're too desirable and we're only men." I can't answer. All I can do is stare at him, stare at this awfully gorgeous man. Is he real? Am I dreaming? And how can I believe him? Because I do believe him. His eyes show nothing else but truth and rectitude. I nodded.

Slowly, he lowered his face. I know what he wishes to do, but I don't want to escape from it. Eyes closed tightly, I can feel his lips almost touching mine, but at the last moment, he restrains himself and kisses my forehead. Suddenly his presence disappears. I hastily open my eyes to see him already few feet away from me.

"What is your name and what are you?"

"Ying Fa. I'm a Wild Cat." I could swear a gentle smile appeared on his tempting lips for a brief moment.

"I'm Xiao Lang. A Wolf, but you already know that, right? I'm sorry for almost stealing your kiss. That is why I told you to stay away. Take care, Ying Fa." And he disappears into the cover of the trees and leaves.

Xiao Lang, son of the leader of the Wolf clan. I couldn't have been attracted by any worse enemy.

* * *

Current era : Japan

I couldn't tell when I gained back my consciousness. In fact, I wasn't even sure what had happened. Had I fallen asleep? I tried to know where I was, but looking outside I calculated only five minutes had passed. Maybe I had fell asleep... I dared to look at my neighbour, but to my biggest surprise, the man was gone and an old woman was sitting next to me. Trying not to attract attention, I swayed my gaze right and left to see if the stranger was still in the wagon; I was almost sure there had been no stop while I had spaced out.

Sadly, there were too many people to find him. I focused on my destination, unsure of why I was so mesmerized by that man. And this dream... It was still the same gorgeous Apollo from my dreams and I was still this girl, but we had acted as if we didn't know each other... I definitely needed to accomplish my schooling in psychology to find out what was wrong with me. If not, I could still write books. Those two dreams seemed intriguing enough to interest some readers...

I finally arrived at my station fifteen minutes before my class at eight. My university wing was just beside my stop, so I took my time to go to an empty bathroom and put some water on my face to erase my worries. I looked into the mirror, noticing my dark facial expression; normally I would always smile and seem carefree, but today, I just felt so lost! Still, I managed to bring happiness to my features and headed towards my class to join my colleague and the friends I had made there.

Opening the door, I saw them almost sleeping on their desk. The corner of my lips moved slightly upwards; they seemed even less in shape than I was. I sat down beside them and quietly laughed to wake them up without frightening them.

The only one who actually dared to open her eyelids was Miyako-san. Her jet black short hair hardly hiding her four piercings on each ear were giving her the look of a rock star. Her sleepy olive green eyes brightened a bit when she realised I was there.

"Sakura-san! How are you doing? We were just showing how we hated Monday mornings." I chuckled at her comment.

"I'm fine thanks. Yeah, Monday mornings can be tough, but I hate even more wind. I put so much time in my hair! I don't know why in fact..." Miyako-chan patted my back.

"Yeah, that's why I prefer to have them short. But don't worry, it looks alright." She turned her head towards Rika-chan, one of my childhood friends. She was usually the ready-for-class one, but today she looked exhausted. Her short curly brown hair was loosely attached into a ponytail. I hesitated to wake her up, but Miyako-chan felt no guilt to shake her a bit before the beginning of the class. Rika-chan straightened up on her chair and after realising my presence, she warmly welcomed me.

"Let me guess..." She nodded.

"Yes, Terada-kun paid me a little visit yesterday night." Miyako-san giggled.

"And you played lovey-dovey all night long, I presume." Rika-chan didn't answer, but the blush on her cheek couldn't be mistaken. She was with our middle school's teacher since seven or eight years and she was still very shy about it. Rika-chan would always be sweet and pure no matter what.

"So, when is the wedding?" My childhood friend didn't answer to Miyako-san, since the teacher entered the classroom to begin our last class before the final exam. Watching my sensei walking to his desk, I noticed a familiar shadow hiding into a corner. It was the stranger! Was he there to judge the class to see if he wanted to take the class semester? I seriously doubted it, but I quickly reminded myself to do not judge a book by its cover. Miyako-san looked rock and roll and she was still interest into becoming a psychologist.

I forced myself to listen to the teacher's speech. Miyako-san then leaned towards me and whispered in my ear a comment about the man she had seen me watching.

"Well, if I could see his face, I bet I wouldn't say no to his phone number." I silently giggled, hoping it didn't sound too faked. Why was I so attracted by him? I felt like a magnet!

What was happening to me?!

* * *

So, the beginning of this chapter is not what people are used to when it comes to my story. I'm no pervert and I'll never describe anything too... secret. So people who are interested in juicy description: Sorry not gonna happen. For some, my story might be bland because of it, but tant pis (too bad)...

The Aïnou people really exists. Nowadays, there are only 150 000 of them in Japan (Hokkaido). They still live like back in old times (before J.C.)m Quite interesting. It is said they come from Russia, but there's a possiblity that they come from Australia. A lot of Japaneses have their blood in their veins without knowing it. Enough with the History class.

Okay, beside this, I hope you enjoyed this chapter... and I hope I'll be able to finish this story, it's quite complicated, believe me.

anyway, have a nice week-end!

Lune-diamant


	2. Our first kiss

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CCS.

DON'T FORGET MOE KARE!!! IT'S SAKURA AND SYARON!!!

Okay, some readers already know that I usually update every week, but last week I didn't have my computer 'cause it was fucked up and I must say my muse wasn't really by my side. But I think I did okay with this chapter. I added a little bit of french in my story. The translation will be at the end of this chapter.

I hope there will be more magic in this chapter than in the last one.

On with the story.

* * *

**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter two: Our first kiss

Current era: Japan

The teacher finally bid us farewell after giving us some advices for our studies and we were free to do whatever we wanted. Miyako-san searched for my mysterious stranger, but he was gone before she could reach his spot. She came back to Rika-chan and I a bit deceived.

"But don't you already have a boyfriend, Miyako-san?" I tilted my head to the side, trying to understand her way of thinking.

"Sakura-san, it's not because you already have a car that you can't check the others models out. Plus, it's not like if I was going to cheat over my boyfriend by sleeping with this guy. I just wanted to know him a little better and see his face, 'cause he definitely had a fine ass." I was startled by her comment, but laughed none the less. She really was funny when she was chasing a guy. I was more the type to flirt without knowing it. Sometimes it was working and I was rapidly getting uninterested by them and sometimes it wasn't and I would try harder to get their attention. I was the type of person to want everybody to like me. It was my pathology...

I ate dinner with my two friends at one of the cafeterias of my university and hanged out a bit with them. At two in the afternoon, I left to go to the grocery store near my apartment. I took the metro and once outside, I rummaged through my backpack; I had forgotten the grocery list at home. Sighting, I tied my hair and fought the cold while walking to my apartment. It was empty and silent inside: Tomoyo-chan was in her classroom while Eriol-san was working. I took the list I had left on the kitchen table and threw a glance at it. My friends had added some suggestions. I smiled; I always forget something... It's part of my charms I guess.

Since I was at home, I took our trolley and walked to the grocery store. Once I was finished, I quickly made a little stop in a little cafe where I could order my favourite beverage: a strawberry flavoured iced cafe... Not a good idea when it's minus eight outside, but still, I really felt like drinking one.

I put some gloves on, took my cold beverage I would drink at home and headed back home.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I was almost there when I noticed a de luxe car in front of my block. There was a tall man leaning against it. A few meters away, I recognised the high quality coat and boots, but he had no longer his hood on. His chocolate hair was dancing in the wind and his tanned face seemed the one of a Greek god statue. He turned his face towards me and addressed me the sexiest smile a girl could ever dream of. His hazel showed so much sweetness and assurance that I was surprised the snow around him was melting because I certainly felt like it.

Slowly, he approached me and stopped once he was only thirty centimetres away from me. With an exquisite charm, he slightly bowed to reduce the distance between his eyes and mine; he was so tall... maybe six feet four inches... while I was only five feet five inches...

"Hello there, Ying Fa." Without any warning, the man leaned further more and kissed me while softly grabbing my waist and chin.

Suddenly, millions of images rushed into my head; kissing scenes, teasing scenes, lovely scenes... all different, but somehow similar... Ancient Greece, Rome, Industrial Revolution, World War One, World War Two, America, Ancient China... Different periods, different places, different cultures, different languages, but somehow, always the same two people... Ying Fa and Xiao Lang.

All those images were attacking my brain making me dizzy, sick... my skull was breaking in two, but my heart was longing for more; more images and more kisses.

Finally, it all stopped. Nothingness surrounded me leaving only the ghosts of those images, kisses and feelings.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

When I woke up, I saw through my apartment's window the dark sky; it was about past six. I rolled to my left and fell off my couch. The sweet smell of curry was floating in the air and for a moment, I forgot all about the day's events, but I forced myself to focus on my last conscious moment. Had I dreamt everything? Was I really kissed? I headed towards the kitchen.

There, I saw Tomoyo-chan preparing dinner. She was alone. I sighed, slightly soothed; it had all been a dream.

"You finally woke up, Sakura-chan! Eriol-kun and Touya-kun will arrive soon. Don't worry; everything is ready for the meal." I nodded, still unsure of my sanity.

"Thanks a lot. Hum... Did I store the food into the fridge?" Tomoyo-chan took a peek at me over her shoulder.

"Yes, you did... Why?" I closed my eyes and rubbed them, forgetting about my makeup.

"Nothing... I'm just not sure of how I went to sleep... Don't mind me. I'll just go clean myself a bit. I must be a mess. Thanks for the dinner." My friend nodded at me.

When I came back into the kitchen, Eriol-kun and my brother were both already there, discussing politics or economy... two subjects I had never cherished because they frustrate people. I welcomed Touya with a bright smile on my lips... until he called me kaiju. My brother was living in Tokyo with his lover Yukito-kun, but even if they were homosexual, I still loved them both. They were two fine men who loved each other, that's all. Love cannot be predicted because it cannot be explained... well yes, but the hormonal theory is really unromantic. Since the time I learned about how people get attracted by each other, I was always aware of it when I was falling for a guy... and the anthropologic theory isn't any better; love is only an impulse fulfilling the basic instincts of reproduction... why did I have to acknowledge this, again???

Once in a week, Touya would come and see how I was doing. Sometimes Yukito-kun would tag along, but sadly, he often had late bakery classes. My brother's lover already owned a popular bakery shop, but Yukito-san loved to learn new recipes and to invent some. Touya was an accountant who was unearthing fraud or simple errors.

"You look exhausted kaiju. Is thinking that tiring?" I growled back while serving the meal with Tomoyo-chan.

"No! I'm just having weird dreams." I couldn't be sure about it, but I thought I saw Tomoyo-chan's hands shuddering while my brother's muscles tensed up. But if it did happened, it lasted for only a second or two. Eriol-kun just smiled.

"What type of dream Sakura-chan?" Sometimes, Eriol-kun really looked like a fox... I laughed hiding my perplexity.

"Let's say this dear old Freud would have been in heaven." Not wanting to talk furthermore about this, I rapidly changed the subject.

"Touya, I'm done with the painting Yukito-san wanted me to do for his bakery shop. Do you think you can bring it to him tonight?" I excused myself and headed towards my room to take the painting and bring it back to my brother. Something shined in his eyes, recognising my work. He sweetly smiled; a soft smile I rarely see on his mocking lips.

"It's mom." I nodded. I had painted my deceased mother's back and her long beautiful hair, her face barely turned towards us and the wind playing with her delicate dress. In the scenery, all we could see was the pure blue sky. And somehow, I had painted almost transparent wings, noticeable only if you took the time to look closer.

"You'll have to paint another one 'cause this one is going into our apartment." He playfully rubbed my hair while I happily giggled. It was nice knowing my painting skills were appreciated.

My brother left earlier than I wanted him to because he knew I had a class at eight in the morning the next day. I hugged him while he warned he would be watching. I stuck my tongue at him and smiled. Our mother had died when we were both so young and I never saw her family either, but we still had each other and our loving father. We were happy.

After washing the dishes and cleaning everything, Eriol-kun, Tomoyo-chan and I quickly went to bed.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

3500 years B.C. : Japan

Under the cover of the large leafs, I watch him, his tensed muscles, his clenched jaw, his stern look and his deep expression. He and his comrades are hunting with a professionalism I would never admit I saw. I climb on a higher branch to be sure I'm out of sight, still afraid of what happened to my mother.

However, the problem is that I can't forget him. I know he's my enemy, but there something about him... Of course, he is handsome, but there are a lot of stunning men in my tribe too. So what is it then?

I look down only to realise one of his pals is standing at the feet of the tree I'm hiding into. I hold my breath to be sure he can't notice me. Slowly, I try to get on a more furnished branch on the other side of the tree; if the man looks upwards, I'm done for. But once my foot touches the hard wood, something starts hissing and spitting and gets out of its hiding place; a wild cat, an ancestor of my clan...it must be aware of my odd and intolerable obsession.

Hurriedly, I let myself fall down beside the branch, grab it with my hands to stop my fall and set foot on another lower branch. Hastily, I continue to climb down, knowing far too well what I'll meet once my feet will touch the grass.

A roar thunders behind me and I can't help but look over my head to see the sacred animal jumping on me. Suddenly, a spear pierces the furred body through; a growl dies in the animal's throat.

I look at the origin of the attack: Xiao Lang. His entire body show no sign of remorse; only confidence. However, on his moving lips, I recognise a pray for the sacred wild cat's soul. My sight glued to him, I fail to notice his companions mocking expression. When Xiao Lang finally looks at me, anger rolling in his eyes, I cease to scrutinize him and pay attention to his fellows; some eye their dead prey, but some focus on me.

Showing them a frigid face, I slowly walk away from the dead animal and from them. Keeping my enemies in sight in front of me, I fail to notice some are already behind me. I'm trapped. A huge man closes the space between us. I raise my head, hiding the fear pulsing through my body. How many are they? Nine, ten? And I'm alone on the Wolf's territory... not good. Some of the hunters murmur about a sacrificial ceremony.

The giant raises a huge and heavy hand to attempt to grab my arm. I slap it away and kick him between the legs. He bends down and falls on his knees; a deep scream of pain roars in his throat. I finish him with a circular kick aiming his face. He falls down on the grass, breathing heavily. I get into a fighting stance, ready to defend my life and pride.

Then, I see Xiao Lang walking towards me, a smirk playing on his lips. I don't know what he's thinking. He was an enigma last time we met each other and he still is. A meter away from me, he stops, silent, but he seems to look at something over my shoulder. Quickly, I throw a glance behind me. Instantly, Xiao Lang removes the knife I had hidden in my back, grabs my right arms, places his right shoulder under my belly and forces me onto his shoulder. Firmly, he keeps me there. Humiliated, I try and try to get free. I scream, I hit, but it is useless.

I should have known this. I had to be so damn naive and curious.

His comrades are laughing their ass off while Xiao Lang orders his men to take the wild cat to the camp and some others to take care of the giant I had put K.O.

Sadly for me, the majority of the hunters stay by their leader's side to know what he will do with me. For a long moment, he walks and walks, not even tired of my weight, and the more he walks, the more I'm wandering where we are heading. Slowly, I hear a growl growing and growing. My stomach is madly twisting.

Finally, we stop at the edge of a cliff overhanging a huge waterfall, its foot hidden by dense clouds of mist. The hunters start shouting like wolves while Xiao Lang still stays silent. Without any warning, he attempts to throw me into nothingness, but there is no way I'm leaving this life without bringing him down with me, so at the last moment, I firmly embrace his waist with my legs and force him to fallow me.

While falling, this weird man wraps my body with his and protects my head with his arms. Finally we hit the almost calm surface of the water. Surprised by the softness of the fall, I open my eyes and quickly swim back to the surface. I look around me: we have dived into a wide pool of calm water beside the agitated waterfall's river. Behind me, I hear a peaceful breathing.

"I knew what I was doing. You should have let me do it. Now I'll have to explain how I got out of it alive while you tragically died." I lay my sight on him.

"Why?"

"Why? I don't know, Maybe for the same reason you're following me." My cheeks turn hot.

"But what I said last time still remains; do not attempt to see me ever again. Stay away. Our clans are enemies. I'm a future leader. Play dead or my lies will be discovered."

"Then do not lie. Luckily, we both escaped the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, both a bit dizzy and confused so I managed to escape." He raises an eyebrow, perplex.

"Why?" He tries to remain emotionless, untouched, but oddly, I can see... something. I don't know what yet. I examine his deep amber eyes, full of strength and curiosity, his voluptuous lips, his strong jaw. Something is burning inside of me. Someone is talking to me; telling me to get free, to explode, to live.

Suddenly, without over thinking it, I grab the base of his neck and bring my lips onto his. A shock pulses through my body and I can bet he feels it too; his body is slightly trembling. His warm arms hug my small body while his soft hands caress my back, my shoulders, my neck, my cheeks... Somehow, we reach the shore without breaking our passionate kiss... But now that I'm sitting on the rocky ground, forelegs still in the water, and that he's on his knees, almost over me, we have no other choice than to stop and face each other.

However, I have no remorse. I don't know how, I don't why, but I know it is the way it is supposed to be. I smile and mimic him.

"Why? I don't know. Maybe because the next time your pals will see me, it might be because I have stolen a kiss from you." I can't help but laugh at his stunned expression. Without waiting for his reply, I get on my feet and run away before he can produce any objection.

Once I'm far enough, I turn back to look at him. He's standing, proud and gorgeous, but a tortured sparkle burns in his captivating orbs. I smile once again and scream to him one last message before leaving.

"From now on, in this life and in the next, I'll come to you. All you'll have to do is open your arms for me."

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Current era: Japan

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, almost falling down from my bed since the previous night I had put my alarm on buzzing instead of radio by mistake. My mind still a bit blurred, I somehow wondered how the hell I had jumped from one era to another before realising I had once again dreamt.

The good side was that at last, I was dreaming of something else. Since adolescence, the only dreams I would have were always the same one; the tragic lover's death. If the dreams were to be different, I might write a novel about those characters' adventure. I smiled. I liked to paint, draw and write. I like art in general. Art is like fresh air. You cannot catch it, but you can feel it and appreciate it.

I got out of my bed, dressed up, made a messy bun with my air and locked it with a hairclip. I didn't feel really fancy that day. Getting out of my room, I ran into Tomoyo-chan; we both had early classes.

We ate our breakfast together. I was mindlessly munching my apple when Tomoyo-chan decided to ask a weird question.

"So... Did you dream?" She tried to sound casual. Tried. And what type of question was that? She could have asked "Did you sleep well?" Then again, it's Tomoyo-chan we were talking about.

"Yeah, why?" Raising an eyebrow, I made her understand how she looked odd by asking such a question.

"Well, yesterday night, you talked about weird dreams so... what was it?" I giggled.

"It's a secret. But let's say it wasn't my so-called life. It was interesting. I even thought about writing a book..." I winked at her. She smiled. She worries too much for me.

Once we were both ready, we left for the metro station. It was so much funnier with Tomoyo-chan with me! She would analyse the style of everyone in the wagon and give hints of how to improve it. She had so much imagination! When we were little, she would often sew me so weird, but cute outfits so she could film me wearing them. I was her model and she always told me that I could be one if fashion wasn't so stuck with either tall anorexic girls or coated and proud women; they forget normal women who are not five feet eleven inches, but still pretty. According to Tomoyo-chan, I had a stunning face and my eyes were sparkling; it's always nice to hear.

When Tomoyo-chan left for her department, I noticed his absence: the stranger. While heading towards my class, I wondered if the kiss had been real; certainly not since I had woken up without him in my apartment. I must have fallen asleep and dream of him and since I had not seen his face, I gave him the one of the cute guy in my dreams; really simple to explain.

I sat down in my class by my own for a while and Miyako-san arrived few minutes later. I welcomed her and she answered back with a smile, but I could see she was searching for something... or rather someone.

"He's not there, Miyako-san." She sighed, unpleased.

"Merde. I wanted to talk to him." I looked at her, a genuine smile playing on my lips.

"Do you really think it is the good time to think about men? Our exams are coming. Shouldn't you focus on them... and your boyfriend?"

"Au contraire! It's the perfect time to search for a boyfriend! You can plan a study session with him and finish it on more thrilling activities as a reward: Instead of chocolate or candies, you can have warm man's arms around you." I nodded, understanding her point of view, but something was still bothering me.

"And your boyfriend can't do that? Or maybe you're planning it with two guys?" Miyako-san started to laugh like crazy and her laughter echoed into the huge amphitheatre.

"You say those things with such innocence and pureness, Sakura-san, that it's not even pervert anymore. Anyway, I'm planning to dump my boyfriend. He's nice, but something's missing. Passion. Lust. I guess we were both just lonely when we decided to get together." I nodded again, keeping for me the fact that passion could not last in a relationship. Well, that's what my teachers say. According to them, couples that have a relationship similar to friendship have more chance to stay together for a long period of time. So unromantic!

"Anyway, we need some carrots to continue so I'm planning on going to this club, the Dynamo, to have some fun before the exams. And you're coming with me Friday night." I tilted my head to the side. She knew what it meant: "why?"

"Because a certain someone will be there. Yuushi-kun would be thrilled to see you. But take more initiative this time. Guys like self-confidence, not cockiness, but self-confidence." I shyly smiled. I wasn't bad at getting boys to fancy me, but when it would become more serious, than I would freak out and run for it.

But this guy, Yuushi-san, I had worked really hard for him to notice me; always dressed prettily, always nice and sweet, always in the good mood and with a smile on... He was quite nice looking: black hair with red reflects into them, nice tanned skin, blue eyes accentuated by his dark hair. His body was not as defined as the one of the man in my dreams, but he was still a great sight. Moreover, he was nice, funny and smart. In one word, he was safe. I don't know how he met Miyako-san, but it's thanks to her that I met him and after a few months of flirting and friendship, he was finally beginning to be interested in me. Sadly, it was at this exact moment that I didn't know what to do anymore...

"Earth to Sakura-san. So are you coming or not?" I warmly smiled.

"Of course. It's been a while. But can I bring Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-san with me?" She nodded and began to dance on her chair.

"Plus on est de fou, plus on rit!" I sighed. Miyako-san was learning french since a little a while now, and she loved to show it. Lucky for me, she loved this expression so she would often use it.

"Hey, are you doing something this afternoon? It's my niece's birthday soon and I need to find a gift. She's a lot like you so I thought that you could help." I grimaced.

"Sorry Miyako-san, I'm working this afternoon; one to six p.m. I'm closing the boutique." She raised her shoulders.

"It's okay. But where are you working again, maybe I could find something for her..." I laughed.

"Maybe not. I sell casseroles, jams, candles and decorations. If she needs cute lunchboxes, piggybanks or chocolates, it's the good place, but I seriously doubt it." Miyako-san smirked.

"Not the gift I had in mind, indeed. But what are you doing there? Training to be the perfect wife or something?"

"No, Tomoyo-chan's mother owns a dozen of them in Tokyo. The pay check is alright and I can study when there's no clients." She nodded.

"Not bad. But boring, I can guess. Anyway, better pay attention to the teacher now, he's been talking since fifteen minutes." I looked at the front desk and opened my notebook. Before applying my pen on the sheet, I eyed the empty place the stranger had occupied. _The hell with him! Why am I always wondering about him?_ I returned back to the teacher's speech.

* * *

Okay, so I hope this chapter was better than the last one. I'm currently working on the third one and normally, it should be ready for next Thursday or Friday. I have finished 3 pages on 7 (yeah that's MY pathology; every chapter must have atleast seven pages)

**Translation**: Au contraire = on the contrary (or something like that)

Merde = shit ( I believe everyone know that)

Plus on est de fou plus on rit = the more people we are, the more we laugh (it sounds better in french)

I read it twice, but there might still have some more errors: I did it at work. So have mercy.

Anyway, keep reading if you like my story, if you don't, then I don't know, why are you reading the second chapter anyway?

Have fun, while I'm working non-stop! :(

Lune-diamant


	3. Who for? What for?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS.

Hey there! So, how are you doing? I read your reviews (and answer to my messages) and I teased some readers lol (and thanked them too of course). If I didn't, well, here are my thanks: THANK YOU!

Do I sound weird? Maybe I do... It's two in the morning, so it's not that surprising. I finished this chapter about a week ago, but I wanted to wait a little bit before posting it. I couldn't just post two chapters alltogether. It's not good for the marketing. Kidding.

Talking about waiting: Sadly, I'm obsessed with Fushigi Yugi Genbu Kaiden and I learned I will have to wait a complete year before being able to read the damn next book! I'm so depressed and angry. I just bought the manga #9 and it put me in the mood for writing, but now, I'm all sad... sniff........ I really sound weird... or drunk ( I didn't even drink ... alcohol is bad if you're underage! You don't need this anyway. If you need it to have fun, it means you have a problem. I'm twenty and I barely drink because I don't need that to have fun. )

I sound like my mom... anyway.

On with the story. Read and reviews!

_italic = thoughts_

normal = my blabla

* * *

**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter three: Who for? What for?

Current era: Japan

I bid my farewell to Miyako-san before heading home to prepare for work; I had two hours before my job. At fifteen past noon, I was home and had only fifteen minutes to change into black neat pants and a white blouse, to make me a lunch and to get my things to pass time.

Sonomi-san, Tomoyo-chan's mother, wasn't often by the shop. Since I was, with Tomoyo-chan, the one with the more years of experience there, we were the ones who would take care of the small administrative tasks such as being sure the cash register was in order and note what we had sold during the week.

Once I was ready, I locked the apartment and headed towards the shop. It took me thirty minutes to get there afoot and I was more than happy to be greeted by the heat of the small mall the boutique was into. I saluted the new employee, a girl my age with two others part-time jobs. She didn't like to study and she was dreaming of performing on big scene in front of thousands of fans. I seriously wished her the best, but I had to admit that her music was not my cup of tea: a bit too much of electric guitar and screams. I preferred to listen to Ayumi Hamasaki's, Gackt-sama's and Malice Mizer's music.

After telling we had received new products, Hajime-san took her things and left for another job. We were often alone when we were working since it was a small shop. Appreciated, but small. I took the list of products and began to label them and place them in the boutique while eating my lunch.

Once I was done with that, I got a psychology book and began to read my notes. I received some clients during my shift; clients I knew since they would come often to the shop. I was known there as a smiling and respectful person. However, a weird client appeared in my shop an hour before the closing time. He was tall and had a dark coat, but I didn't pay too much attention to him since I was on a stepladder, trying to replace a fancy plate on a high shelf.

I tried to throw a glance at the clients over my shoulder, however I couldn't see him, so I strained furthermore, but I lost my balance and almost fell before firm hands grabbed my waist and helped me to gain back my stability. I shyly thanked the man without looking directly at him and placed the plate before breaking it for real. I got down of the stepladder and turned towards the client to ask him if he needed anything.

My question stayed stuck into my throat when I set my eyes on him: the stranger. I could recognise his smell, his style, his coat and his rings. My knees began to shake when I saw his face: He was the man in my dreams, same eyes, same nose, same jaw, same hair, same skin...

I stood still, managing to babble: "Can I help you?"

He looked at me, slightly amused.

"Just looking." Indeed, he was looking... at me... intensely. I nodded and headed towards the cash desk where I could hide. I got on my knees, acting like if I was searching something, when I was in reality trying to calm down my racing heart. Was I dreaming again? I pinched my arm. Ouch! No, wide awake. So it was a coincidence. Maybe I had foreseen him before when we were both younger; long, long ago and I had kept his gorgeous face in mind since then. It was the most logical explanation. I noted my surplus of imagination and promised myself I would work on that. I took one last breath before rising back from my foetal position.

Once back on my feet I noticed the man was eying me from the other side of the desk, a smirk playing on his lips. _Kami-sama, did he have to be so nice looking? _

"Yes?" My voice sounded too shaky for my own sanity. He chuckled.

"I just bought a new apartment and I would need a new cookware set." I nodded and leaded him towards the shelves and presented him what we had in store. He needed it to be compatible with induction stove which meant my young stranger had quite a lot of money for his age.

He listened to my little speech without interrupting me and never asked questions. When I was done, the stranger turned towards me.

"What's your name?" I stayed silent for a moment? Had I done something wrong? Did he want to see my boss and complain?

"Sakura Kinomoto."

"How old are you?" Was he a policeman? Did I look too young to work?

"I'm twenty years old." He stayed still, as if waiting for something.

"The politeness would be to ask my name as well." I raised my eyebrows, puzzled.

"I'm Syaoran Li. Nice to meet you." I nodded, still perplex.

"Likewise." He smiled; I guessed he knew I wasn't really comfortable.

"I'm sorry, I just arrived in Tokyo. I still don't know anyone." I instantly thought that a man like him wouldn't have too much trouble to make friends. But still, I understood him. I smiled back at him for the first time.

"You do have an accent. China?" He nodded.

"You seem young enough; why did you leave China?" He tried to laugh, but it sounded bitter.

"I'm twenty-four; I just decided to buy a small company here and start all over again." He chuckled at my surprised expression.

"Business runs into my family since a while now." I nodded not knowing what to say. A thought hit me.

"Then why were you in a class of psychology yesterday morning? Because I'm almost sure it was you back then." He raised his shoulders.

"Pure curiosity. Is that bad?" I remained silent. He coughed a bit knowing the situation was awkward.

"What about your family? Are you alone in Tokyo?"

"No, my brother lives in the city too and I'm sharing an apartment with my childhood friend and her boyfriend. My father lives in a small city not too far from Tokyo, but he travels a lot."

"What about your mother?"

"She died when I was seven years old." He intensely looked into my eyes.

"Oh. I'm sorry. But don't you see your grandparents sometimes?" I frowned. Why was he so interest in my family?

"My father's are dead and I never saw my mother's family. It seems they were not happy with her matrimonial choice." I couldn't read his facial expression. It seems he was deep in thought.

"I see. That's why. Well, I'm sorry for asking those ackward questions. I just wanted to know you."

"Planning to hire me or something?" He bent down a little to close the distance between him and me.

"More like "or something"." Li-san smirked once again. Miyako-san was right; self-confidence is sexy. There was no doubt that this man was weird, but I couldn't be afraid of him... like if I already knew him. Well, he was in my dreams after all. I came with an idea when I thought about Miyako-san.

"Well, if you want to meet people, you can go to "The Dynamo" club. The music is nice and you can have some fun." He hid his hands into his pockets. Yep, he definitely had it all: handsome even if in a casual position.

"Will I see you there?"

"You might. I'm going there Friday night with some friends. One of them took an interest into you already." I didn't know why I was almost trying to match him up with Miyako-san. It just got out of my mouth... Sometimes, I talk too much. I told him where was the club.

He noted it and paid for a high quality cookware set. Li-san then asked me if I could keep it in my back store since he had came afoot. He would come back with his car later. I wrote his name and phone number down and pasted it on the box. Li-san left after assuring me he had been pleased to meet me.

I stayed still behind my cash desk for a little while before beginning to prepare everything for the closure. There was no doubt that this man knew how to charm people. Without his presence, I gained back my sanity and realised how dangerous he could be; not physically, but he could mesmerize anyone and that was the danger. Being crazy about someone is never good. You begin to do fool things and lose control. The problem was that when he was there, there was no way I could ignore him. Again, I noticed how I felt like a magnet when he was there.

I thought about breaking loose of any inhibition... was it good or bad? All my life, I remained a good girl and where did it bring me? Not really far. Still single at twenty and securely locked into art and studies. I shook my head. What was I thinking? This life, I chose it. No one chose it for me and if I want to change, I can do it any day and I don't need this gorgeous Apollo to do so.

* * *

After telling Miyako-san that the stranger might appear Friday night, she talked about him during the entire rest of the week. She had so many questions about him and I must say that I had many too.

After Tomoyo-chan's shift at the shop Thursday night, she came back after nine at night with a worried expression. I immediately came to her to ask what was wrong. Eriol-san got up from the couch too, but didn't seem to have any concern. He was a too carefree person.

Tomoyo-chan eyed me, puzzled, as if she didn't know if she should ask me something.

"What is it?" She was freaking me out.

"Did you meet a guy at the boutique this week?" I frowned, unsure of what was the link.

"Yes, I did. Why?" Her lips trembled a bit.

"Don't ever see him again, Sakura-chan. He's no good." I was surprised; Tomoyo-chan never was the type of person to say bad things about people.

"Why? If you're talking about Li Syaoran, he seemed nice enough; a bit strange, but nice none the less." Tomoyo-chan paled.

"Listen to me Sakura-chan. Please. I feel it. He'll hurt you." I couldn't understand why she was saying such a thing about a stranger. Then again, she was my best friend and I would do anything for her.

"Why would he hurt me? How?" She shook her head.

"I don't know." She seemed so lost! I took her into my arms.

"It's okay. Miyako-san is interested by him anyway and you know how boys fancy her. I have my eyes on Yuushi-san anyway. Don't worry." She calmed down a bit and Eriol-san finally helped me with my worried friend. They sat down together on the couch, watching television, both glued to each other. I excused myself and headed to my room. I put on my pyjama and opened the second _Millenium_. I tried to focus on Lisbeth Salander's enigma, but I couldn't. I was obsessed by Li Syaoran's enigma. He was a bit like her. Not because of the personality (she was purely asocial), but because they received two different diagnosis; I felt like Li-san was a nice man and Tomoyo-chan, who had always been so perceptive, described him as someone highly despicable.

I sighed. The smartest decision was to do what I said to Tomoyo-chan: let Miyako catch him in her net and stay focus on Yuushi-san. Not that I was not interest in him anymore, but something beyond my understanding was pushing towards Li-san. It was stupid. There was no such thing as an uncontrolled power deciding what I would do or feel; I was the master of my life and it would never change.

On that thought, I tried to go to sleep.

* * *

3500 years B.C. : Japan

I just spent some time with Xiao Lang. At first, he didn't want to see me, but he finally gave in, curious of my behaviour. We talked and laughed. He explained to me what was supposed to be his future: a leader. The role suites him and I feel ashamed of myself for risking it all for an impulse, but I can't ignore it. I just can't.

I enter my family's cise ( house ) located in the middle of my kotan ( village ). My father and brother are gone hunting with other men and the cise seems so empty without my mother making one of her nourishing Ohaw ( soups ). I grab a Munini-imo ( a round flat biscuit made of buckwheat ) and take a bite before beginning to prepare some food.

Suddenly, my childhood friend, who's also my cousin, appears into my cise. Her stern and depressed look augurs nothing good.

"So that's why you wanted me to tattoo a full moon on your wrists. You fancy a Wolf." I shuddered.

"Ssshhh. How do you know?" I look outside one of our three windows to make sure no one was near.

"No one must know. No one." She shakes her head.

"What were you thinking?! He's an enemy! Kami-sama forbids us to mix with those lower breads. And your mother! Did you think about your mother? What would she say?" I felt a hole growing and growing into my stomach.

"No one knows what would say my mother! She had respect for innocent living beings. And he is. He's no beast." I try to hold her glare, but now sadness and betrayal appear in her eyes and I just cannot look at her anymore. Guiltily, I drop my eyes on the earthy ground.

"If you continue this heresy, Kami-sama will never forgive you. You know they can be merciless especially the wild cat's spirit. Something bad will happen. Stop before you cannot go back." I keep my head low.

"It's strong than my will, Dono'yo." Tears were forming in my eyes. My friend hurries to my side and embraces me.

"Try Ying Fa, do try. If not for you, do it for me and your family." I nodded. With all my might I wanted to soothe her sorrow and to ease her fright. And maybe she is right. Those unreasonable feelings, those thoughts... It cannot be what I thought. It must be a malicious spirit's doing... I must stay away. I must. Why would............

* * *

Current era: Japan

I woke up suffocating; my lungs were threatening to implode. I stayed still for a moment, trying to calm down and to gain back the control of my lungs. I was silently crying, hoping the pain would stop and lose its grip on my chest.

Finally, the cruel claws released my body and I was able to breathe normally. I didn't move. I was feeling sick and sweaty. What had happened? When I felt secure enough to use my muscles, I slowly sat down in my bed and turned the lights on. It was one in the morning.

After a while, I got up and went to the kitchen to get some water. When I passed by Tomoyo-chan's room, I saw the lights disappear. I continued my way.

I sat down on the couch of the little living room with my glass of water. In foetal position, the glass on my knees, I thought about my odd reaction. It looked like a panic crisis, but there was nothing to be panicking about in my dreams. I wasn't frightened, but depressed. Was I sick? I didn't know psychology (or neuropsychology) enough to understand what had occurred. Maybe it was only the fear of failing my exams? This hypothesis soothed me. It was a possibility. Maybe the dream had nothing to do with this. After all, the brain can process a lot of information altogether. The dream surely had covered up the panic I felt about my finals. I relaxed a bit. Now that I knew what the problem was, the crisis's reappearance's probabilities were thin. I sighed. Why did I felt like if I was losing control? I didn't like it one bit.

I got up on my feet and placed the glass in the sink. Heading towards my room, I passed by a window overlooking onto the street. I noticed that only one apartment's light was still on: the highest one of the building in front of mine. For a moment, I thought I saw a tall man's silhouette; as tall as Li-san, but when I looked back, there was no one and there was no light.

I shook my head: I was certainly really tired and stressed out if I had begun to see him everywhere.

I got back to bed and headed back to sleep; a dreamless sleep. The first I had since I was sixteen years old.

* * *

My alarm clock began to play a pop song at eight. I had no class on Friday, but this day, I had to open the boutique at nine and a half. I would be free only after three. I got up and took a quick shower. Tomoyo-chan was already gone to university, but Eriol-kun was taking his time like every Friday's morning. Once I was dressed up, I joined him into the kitchen. I took an apple and poured some orange juice into a glass. I sat in front of him at the kitchen's table and raised my knees under my chin while eating my apple.

Eriol-kun had his foxy smile on.

"Good morning sunshine!" I slightly giggled.

"The sun wasn't shining when I woke up for the first time last night." He raised an eyebrow.

"I was pulled out of Morpheus's grasp by a crazy panic crisis. Not cool." He seemed annoyed... or thoughtful... we can't really know for sure with Eriol-kun.

"Something's bothering you?" I spaced out for a moment, thinking about his question.

"Exams, I guess... I don't know. I never reacted like that for an exam... And I must that I'm a bit puzzled about Tomoyo-chan's state yesterday night. She never acted so violently before." Eriol-kun remained silent while running his hands through his short jet black hair. Suddenly, his blue eyes seemed shadowed by sadness, but he quickly gained back his self-confidence.

"All your life, you've been used to remain in control of your surroundings. You do not dictate, but you chose your battles and your obstacles. However, one day, you'll have to accept that you cannot always be in control. You choose to study hard, but the exam is not under your control. You choose to do not see this guy Tomoyo talked about; but you cannot command to destiny and you never know what can happen." I scrutinized him and slowly lifted the corner of my mouth.

"Is it Freud or Nostradamus I'm talking to?" He laughed.

"Both I guess." He looked at the clock on our wall. "Do you need a ride? The office let me borrow a car since I need to see a client situated in northern Tokyo this morning. You boutique is not too far from here. Only five or ten minutes." I nodded.

"But you'll be coming tonight with Tomoyo-chan, right?" He too nodded. I got on my feet, finished my orange juice, brushed my teeth and took the lunch bag I had made the night before. Once ready, we both left the apartment.

He let me at the door of the mall and I opened the boutique after saluting the janitor. Once inside, I noticed something at my feet; someone must have slid it under the door. It was a white envelope. Inside, there was a black sheet on which a message was written in white. It was written in Japanese, but I understood the writer was not form here. The person had created a note with formal terms, but with errors only a foreigner could do.

I could read: "Stay away from him; for your own good and his. Do not provoke the Sky and Earth." I frowned. If it was a joke, it was a really bad one. We were not in an _Angels and Demons_. _Him._ For some reasons, I knew the writer was talking about Li-san. It was not a rational thought; more like an intuition, but I bet it was a good one.

I sighed: I was tired and depressed. People were crazy! We need more psychologists and psychiatrists. I shook my head. _Don't be that way, Sakura! You're strong and you have a good life!_ I gained back some of my energy and enthusiasm. Those stories, they were not my business.

I took a drawing book and breathed heavily. I let my mind wanders and began to draw, interrupting my work when I would receive clients. I looked at my work after a while. It was not done, but I knew what I had drawn: the couples in my dreams. Well, they had the quality of entertaining me. I smiled. I didn't know how, but I had grown attached to them. Maybe I really should write their story. I placed back my drawing book into my bag and took a virgin booklet. I took my favourite pen and began to write.

* * *

Dono'yo is a name.

I always thought Sakura had an artist soul... Sure she's clumsy, but hey! I'm clumsy too and I can draw. I even draw the characters of my previous story (The way to be free). Anyway, artists are really sensitive people, so I thought Sakura would be compatible with arts.

So, anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm not sure if there are errors (surely), but I'm currently sleeping (yep, when I'm sleeping, I write). Anyway, if there is any, you can gently tell me or simply close your beautiful eyes. God! I sound drunk again (beautiful eyes... why do I say that?!)

Okay, so have fun and take care!

P.S. Yes I read millenium, and it's really great. You should try it sometimes. B-Bye

Lune-diamant


	4. To know somebody or not

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS.

Hey there!! How are you doing? I finally finished my chapter even if my attention was caught by a TV program called Merlin. It's done in England so the caracters have a nice accent and I just love it!! You should try, you can watch it on youtube.

This chapter was really easy to write except for the end and you will see why.

For the coming week I'll be at my chalet, so if my parents leave me alone I might be abe to finish my chapter sooner, but again notice the ''if''. I may be 20 but they're still parents!!

Anyway have fun, think of me and be patient I'm no slowpoke when it comes to writting`... I think. Read and review it's always a pleasure to read from you!!

Tchüss

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* * *

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter four: To know somebody or not

Current era: Japan

I was at the bar with Tomoyo-chan, Rika-chan, Naoko-chan and Chiharu-chan who's boyfriend, Yamasaki-kun, was working late that night in a restaurant.. Eriol-kun was arguing about politics with Miyako-san. They had quite an opposite way of thinking... Why were they talking about such things in such a place anyway? Finally, Eriol-kun managed to unarmed the situation and invited Tomoyo-chan to dance. Miyako-san ordered a Canadian. My childhood friends and I watched her drink her ten shooters one after the other. She certainly was alcohol resistant. Atleast, she was planning to call a taxi... and I was going to make sure she would do so.

She was drunk, but even in her state, she knew she had to wait for an hour or two before even thinking about drinking another gulp of alcohol; Miyako-san liked to be drunk, but knew her limits too.

We talked between girls for a while, but then decided to go dance a bit as a group. Miyako-san decided she would go on her own and see if she couldn't find Li-san. She had broken up with her boyfriend before coming here. Atleast, Miyako-san knew better than cheating on her boyfriend. I didn't try to stop her. I had thought over and over again about the note and I couldn't really set my mind on how to react to this; first Tomoyo-chan, then the note... even if it wasn't really referring to Li-san.

At the end of my shift, I had decided that the note was too weird to be taken seriously, but that didn't change the fact that I had decided to stay away from Li-san: One, because I had an interest for Yuushi-san and two, because Tomoyo-chan was my best friend since forever and she was more important than any handsome man.

While dancing with the girls, I looked up to see the balcony overhanging the dance floor I was on. I immediately recognised Yuushi-san up there who was ordering a drink at the bar of his floor. I excused myself and headed towards the staircase to meet him.

When I finally reached him, he was leaning on the balcony's railing, sipping his beer and lively talking with his friends. I touched his shoulder to make him acknowledge my presence. Yuushi-san ceased to laugh and turned towards me. I was happy to see that he gained it back once he saw me. I noticed his gaze went from my head to toes and I strongly wished I had dressed correctly: black skinny pants, black boots and a pink tube adorned with necklaces made with black and pink pearls. I had taken the risk to put on my straight honey hair a black gangster hat with a pink ribbon around it. In fact, Tomoyo-chan had insisted me to do so to add some style.

"Sakura-san! Nice seeing you! I had seen you down there, but I was planning to come over later. There's no doubt: you know how to move!" I recalled the movie I had seen a week ago "He's just not that into you" and thought about the barman's critic: "If the guy wants it to happen, it will. He'll do everything he can" or something like that. I shrugged it off. Women too could make it happen. I smiled back at him.

"Thanks. So, how are you doing?" I looked at his friends to include them into the conversation, but they just warmly saluted me and left, saying they wanted to show some moves themselves. Yuushi-san and got back his gaze on me.

"I'm good. A lot of stress and work, you know how it is... oh well not really, since you're in psychology and I'm in economy, but anyway. I chose that path and I freaking want to finish with flying colours. That's why I didn't call you as much as I wanted to." I shook my head.

"It's okay, I understand. Don't feel guilty, I could have called more often too, but the exams are coming and everything... That's why we went out tonight. We wanted to have some fun before getting our mind onto work." He nodded.

"Yeah! Nothing like bars to pimp you up before exams! Do you want a drink or something? My threat." I accepted his proposition and ordered me a Smirnoff Ice knowing perfectly that I liked sweet drink. I thanked him and we went back to leaning over the railing. While chatting, I spotted Miyako-san in the dancing crowd; she had finally found her charming prince. I had described him to her and since he was so tall, he wasn't hard to spot at all. Li-san was shining even in is common white t-shirt and his faded jeans. He was dancing with my friend and for moment I felt a pang into my heart. I wasn't jealous. I couldn't; I barely knew the guy, so I ignored it, focusing on Yuushi-san.

I turned back my gaze at the soon-to-be couple, but the moment I did, my heart fell into my stomach. Miyako-san looked like she was having sex while dancing: she really was putting herself into her seduction's game. I shyly looked at Li-san; he was moving, but not necessarily responding to her advances.

I slightly jumped backwards when I saw his eyes turning upwards and spotting me. I closed my eyelids blocking any images and hoping it would block any thoughts too. When I opened them back, Yuushi-san was still talking since he had not noticed my odd actions. I threw another glance on the floor below. _Shit! _

Li-san had stopped to dance and was trying to head towards the staircase leading up where I was, my friend on his heels. Thinking about what I had said to Tomoyo-chan and the license to seduce I had let to Miyako-san, I quickly turned towards Yuushi-san who was still talking a smirk on his lips. Thanks Kami-sama, he was looking down at the crowd below us and was still unaware of my weird behaviours.

"Do you want to dance with me?" He swiftly laid his eyes on me, a bit puzzled by my sudden demand.

"Sure, why not? When I saw you down there, you seemed like knowing your moves." I smiled.

"I was a cheerleader when I was in high school." He smirked; I guessed he liked the idea.

We took a different staircase to get down and headed towards the dance floor. He wasn't leading me towards where were my friends, but that was okay since Miyako-san would certainly bring him over there sooner or later. Instead, Yuushi-san had found a really crowded spot where we had no choice, but to dance one on another. I felt a bit stuck, but atleast, I was almost sure I was invisible there.

We danced glued to each other for more than twenty minutes, but then, somehow, I was left alone while he and another girl were dancing together. She was taller, blond and looked like a mannequin. I couldn't understand what had happened, was it him or her who had made the first move? I stood there, still moving and trying to look as if nothing had occurred. Was it normal? If he was interested into me, would he still dare to dance with another woman in front of me? Was he trying to make me jealous? Was I supposed to be? Because I wasn't really jealous. I was... puzzled.

Suddenly, a man took my hips from behind and began to dance with me. He was repulsing. In fact, he was alright. So I dance a bit with him, but still kept a distance between him and me. However, the more, I tried to keep my distance, the more he tried to cling onto me. He began to slip his hand into my pants.

I couldn't take it anymore. I rushed to Yuushi-san's side and broke his dance with the Barbie. He didn't understand my actions, but as soon as I explained into his ear what had occurred. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and asked me who dared to do this. Sadly (or luckily), he was gone. Yuushi-san let go of me and motioned me to stay by his side and dance with him. I must have looked like a baby, but for the moment, I didn't care.

Suddenly, strong arms took my shoulders by behind and leaded me towards a calmer lounge where exhausted dancer were cooling off. He dropped me on the large sofa; I was finally able to acknowledge his identity.

"Li-san! How did you find me?" He was frowning, brushing his hands through his messy chocolate hair.

"You're not hard to find." He pointed my hat. _Shit!_

Finally, Yuushi-san arrived behind Li-san, put his hand on his shoulder and made the Chinese man face him.

"Hey! What are you doing with her pal?!" I looked at both men not knowing if I should do something and if I should, what should I do. Electricity was running between them.

"What are YOU doing with her?! She was with you and you turned your attention on another girl leaving her with a damned pervert." Yuushi-san didn't like the critic.

"It's none of your business! And there's no law against it." Li-san crossed his arms.

"You shouldn't need one if you're interested in Kinomoto-san!" Yuushi-san became red; anger radiating from his skin.

"Who are you to tell me how I should act or not with a girl I'm flirting with?" Li-san turned his gaze towards me. His voice became softer.

"Someone who wants to know her. Miyako-san told me you're her friend, but do you even know her?" I couldn't believe what he was saying. In fact, I just couldn't understand him. Why was he so attached to me?

"Do you even know what is her job, or favourite colour, or dish, or her family's situation?" He was acting cocky, like if he knew he had found a weak point.

"Her favourite colour is emerald. Just like her eyes." Li-san and Yuushi-san turned towards me. I chewed my lower lip, not daring to look at Yuushi-san.

"Well, that's not it, but I never told him. Why would I? It's not that important." Yuushi-san stayed silent, but I knew he was upset. Xiao Lang raised the left corner of his mouth, in a half smile.

"What about your family. It's important enough, isn't it?" If glare could kill, Li-san would have been crumbling on the ground at this moment. I couldn't remember any occasion I had looked at someone like this. However, Yuushi-san seemed to gain back some confidence and smiled at the tall stranger in front of him.

"Sakura-san has a brother, a father and a mother; all living in Tokyo. Her mother is really beautiful." I looked down at my feet, then back at him.

"My mother died when I was seven years and she never lived in Tokyo." A dry smile began to appear on Yuushi-san. "But it doesn't matter! People can make mistakes or forget. It's the nature of human beings!" My (soon-to-be ex-) friend interrupted me.

"You know what? I don't mind. You're nice and very cute, but you're not worth a fight. I'm out of here." I was stunned by his words. I already knew he liked things to be easy, but I had thought he would fancy me enough to grip a little bit tighter on me.

I got on my feet and faced Li-san. He was much taller than I was, but I didn't care; like every men, he had THE weak spot and the height couldn't help him there.

"How dare you?! We barely know each other and you think you can control whose good enough for me?! I worked really hard to attract his attention. Now, it's screwed! Thanks a lot!" I turned my back on him and walk towards the nearest bar. He followed me, apparently not done with his goal to ruin my evening.

"Judging from the dance floor earlier, all he seems to care about is himself. On the balcony, I saw him talking, but you never opened your mouth and he never asked you something. Then, when I was on the same balcony, I saw you two dancing into the crowd; he didn't think twice when he changed partner and left you alone. Do you really think a guy does that to the girl he likes? Come on! A friend wouldn't even do that." I continued to walk even if I knew he was right. I was just mad at myself for having stooped so low: fancying an egocentric guy just because he's safe.

Once at the bar, I ordered four shooters of white rum. I gave Li-san two and gulped my share. He suspiciously looked at me, but drank what I offered him none the less. Once he was done, I approached my lips to his right ear and tried to make myself clear even if the music was loud in this section of the club.

"Now, go back to Miyako-san and leave me alone. I don't know why you think of yourself as my knight in shining armour, but I cannot see you again."

He frowned. Then, Li-san gently laid his hand on my left arm that was resting by my side while his other hand's fingers rested under my jawbones. He placed his lips beside my right ear, just like I had done.

"Then tell me you don't want to see me anymore. Ever. Tell me you don't care to push my friendship away even if you never had the chance to know who I am."

I opened my mouth, ready to tell him those words he wanted to hear, but the moment I tried to produce them, they disappeared on my the tip of my tongue. It was as if I had become mute. I could say them. Deep, deep down, I didn't want to; Li-san was too interesting. _Damn it! Why is mystery so attracting?!_ But was it all it was? I didn't wish to think about it for the moment. I needed it to be an irrational desire that would one way or another disappear.

I moved back my head, to face him. Li-san was slightly bending over since I was so smaller than him. He was smirking, knowing I couldn't fulfill his challenge. I stood still not knowing what to do. Tomoyo-chan. Miyako-san. The note. What should I decide? One thing was sure; I couldn't tell him to never attempt to see me again. Something in my mind or soul, I couldn't tell which one was at fault, wouldn't let me do it. Freud would call that phenomenon the physical manifestation of an unconscious desire; the mind over the body. A lot of his clients were women who suffered paralysis of a member of their body. For example, a woman couldn't use her right arm because she unconsciously wanted to kill her husband, but knew (again unconsciously) she couldn't (society's laws and moral).

"Kinomoto-san, would you want to dance?" Li-san presented me his hand, waiting for me to take it. I was raising my arm to shyly accept his proposition when suddenly; I felt a piercing pain running through my lungs. My body went stiff as I grabbed onto Li-san shirt with both hands to prevent a fall. I ceased to breathe and the violent assault continued its work of ravages.

Seeing my behaviour, Li-san quickly wrapped his arms around me, supporting my weight. Taking me like a baby, he rapidly made his way through the crowd to head towards the exit. Despite my pain, I noticed how he seemed to search for something of someone... like if he was hunting for something. His eyes were as cold as ice. I felt like fainting when he quickly grabbed his coat at the cloakroom and got outside the club, still holding me in his arms.

Once the cold air bit my naked skin, I instantly gained back the control of my lungs and I was finally able to take in some fresh air. Relieved, Li-san put me on my feet, but still continued to support my weight, knowing I was still shaky on my legs. He enveloped my body into his coat while he stood there, as if he was unaffected by the cold. When I allowed my brain to think again, only one question was pulsing through my head: what had happened? It felt like the panic crisis I had the night before, but this time, I was sure of one thing: when it occurred, I wasn't stressed out enough to react like this. Something was wrong with me. Maybe I had a brain tumour... I felt two warm hands on each side of my head. I looked up, meeting Li-san' worried eyes.

"Are you alright?" I nodded. He closed his eyelids and lowered his head to rest his forehead on mine.

"Good. I'll go now. Go back to your friends' side. I promise you'll be okay in there once I'll be gone." Somehow, what he was saying didn't make much sense to me.

"I don't understand." He sighed.

"Now is not the moment. Go back inside. We'll see each other again, but now, I must go. Be careful." He kissed my forehead, took back his coat and pushed me back inside the club.

Dizzily, I managed to walked back to the spot had occupied all evening long. They welcomed me with smiles while I only managed to grimace. Miyako-san instantly came to me.

"Did you see Li-san somewhere? He left when we were on the balcony over the crowd saying he had something to co. Did he come to you say hello? I oversaw you and Yuushi-san on the dance floor below us." What was I supposed to say? Lie or tell the truth? And if I was supposed to lie, what for? To preserve her or myself? I was so confused, but I somehow decided I wouldn't say the truth... not the complete truth... a white lie maybe...

"Well, I did saw him, but he passed by me and exited the club after taking his coat. I believe he left. Maybe he had forgotten to do something." Miyako-san seemed deceived and I felt the pain a dagger would produce if it was introduce into my heart. But I had promised Tomoyo-chan I would approach anymore and I have to say that this night, I had miserably failed.

Thinking about Tomoyo-chan, I realised my best friend wasn't there; Eriol-kun was alone with my bunch of friends.

"Eriol-kun, where is Tomoyo-chan?" He tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips.

"She went on the balcony to search for you." I frowned.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Before I left, he had managed to reply that he didn't want to interrupt while I was talking to somebody else. Sometimes, his politeness could really be pointless.

I headed towards the staircase and arrived on the second floor. After a research trough the crowded balcony, I finally discovered Tomoyo-chan. I stopped, six meters between us. She was talking with a girl about three inches taller than me. She had her back turned onto me, but I could see her slim silhouette and her dark jet black hair tied into a long ponytail. The skin of her neck was pale, but still perfect.

Tomoyo-chan was talking with animation; she didn't seem too happy. As if she was reprimanding the stranger. After a while, Tomoyo-chan saw me over the girl's shoulder and smiled at me. I took that as a permission to advance towards them, but then, the stranger walked by Tomoyo-chan and left without even turning towards me. When I finally joined my friend, I was feeling uneasy.

"What was that? Did I do something wrong?" She frowned and looked straight into my eyes; I noticed she was playing with her fingernails.

"Of course not! She had to go somewhere else to meet a friend. What are you doing here?" I tried to keep sight of the girl long enough to see her face, but failed.

"Just searching for you. Who is she? You seemed mad at her." Tomoyo-chan grabbed my hand while dragging me back to where our friends were.

"Oh. I just saw her once while waiting for a cab. She had stolen mine back then." I raised an eyebrow. Could that really happen? Of course, it could happen, but what were the chances of meeting once again the person and recognising her? I felt so paranoiac that I drop those thoughts. Why would Tomoyo-chan lie to me about this? Strange things do happen.

* * *

The next day, I went to an academic hospital where a friend was working. I knew he was present on Saturday mornings. He had always been a brilliant student and had worked really hard to become one day a great surgeon. He was not done with his studies, but he was at the stage he had to learn on the field. His name was Kazumo-san. His parents were child from the first generation of Hiroshima's survivors; Kazumo-san had six toes at birth, but the doctors chopped the extras off and there was no other consequence of the radiation his grandparents had suffered even if it could had been far more worse like leukemia or heart disease.

Kazumo-san was my brother's friend, but over the years, he became a good friend of mines too.

I presented myself at the front office and asked to see him. He arrived twenty minutes after the receptionist called for him.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing here? Sorry for making you waiting. Woah! You could really use a little nap!" I smiled at his honesty.

"I went to bed late in the morning because I was in a club with some friend yesterday night... And it's kind of the reason why I'm here this morning." He frowned and placed a compassionate hand on my shoulder.

"Are you feeling unwell? Did you do something you weren't supposed to?"

"No, it's just that I've been having those weird panic attacks when I'm perfectly calm. It's not normal and it hurts like hell. I wonder if I don't have a brain tumour or something. Those crises appear suddenly and disappear as quickly as they came. But they're frightening! I can't breathe and I feel a sharp pain into my lungs. Can you see if something is wrong with me?" He chewed his bottom lips.

"And of course, you don't want your brother or father to know about this." I nodded.

"I don't want them to worry over nothing." He rummaged through one of his blouse's pockets and took a folded sheet out. After taking a look at it, he put it back into his pocket.

"I'll teach how to use a MRI device to some new interns later. You'll be our patient, but first, I'll see if the problem resides into your lungs. Come into my office, I'll spend my break on your case." We went into his examination room, but he didn't find anything wrong with lungs, so he went back to work and told me to wait for him to call me for his small class.

When he came back to me, he handed me a clean tunic, let me change into a room and brought me to the room my brain would be scrutinised. Kazumo-san made me lie down on a cold metallic table attached to a huge machine. A small group of adults dressed in white blouses entered into the room and my friend began his little speech. Soon, they all exited and went into a room next to mine; I could see them through a glass window. Kazumo-san's voice suddenly echoed into the white room.

"Kinomoto-san, you will have to stay still during the process. I can assure you that you won't feel a thing, but do stay still." I nodded; a bit puzzled at his sudden formality, but then I remembered that he was with colleagues.

Then the table started to move towards the device, into a wide tube. I stood still, as I had been told to do. Few minutes later, the little experience was over. The results were in; Kazumo-san was alone when he joined me back into the white room. He seemed a bit perplex.

"What were you thinking about when you were into the tube?" I stayed silent for a while, a bit surprised by the question.

"I was thinking about what you could announce me. Why? Doesn't it matter what I think in there?" He shook his head.

"No, not in normal circumstances." I tensed up.

"Why? Is there a problem with my brain?"

"No, there's no problem. It's just that... Listen, Sakura-chan, I never saw that, you do know we do not use our brain to its full potential, right." I nodded.

"Well, some parts of your brain are active although they are not for the majority of human beings." I frowned.

"I don't understand. Is it dangerous? Is my brain too developed?" Again, he shook his head.

"No, no danger whatsoever, it's just that I've never saw that before... It's just uncommon. Then again, it is possible that you're not the only one in this world; not everyone asks for a radio of their head." I nodded.

"But what about my crises?" He raised his shoulders in a sign of ignorance.

"Maybe you should seek the help of a psychologist. It can never hurt." A psychologist for a psychologist-to-be: how ironic! Well, as Kazumo-san said, it could never hurt... but not at this moment; I had exams to take care of first.

I quitted the hospital twenty minutes later after thanking my friend and promising him a cake for his kindness.

I didn't tell Tomoyo-chan or Eriol-san where I had been. I didn't want to worry them over nothing, so I just told them I had gone to the library to study and then into a small cafe to eat lunch.

Once in my room, I realised how much I had been hiding things and how many lies I had been telling. Was that all necessary? I pushed the thought aside, taking the resolution of slowing down my paranoia and my secrets.

* * *

So I hope you like it although I have a problem with the end. I don't know why but there is just something wrong; something is missing maybe I'm just too fast, but I can't think of nothing else to add. Hope it doesn't bother you. Have a nice weekend and think about me when I'll be eating by mosquitoes. Well I'll be going I'm not fancy today so I'll just shut up.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Lune-diamant


	5. Plausible impossibilities

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

Okay, so I'm sorry for being late, I was at my chalet, my parents are making making it a big bigger, so I had no electricity (pretty boring). I was planning to write and I ended up installing pieces of wood for the floor and painting: good for the health, but now I'm late.

So, I'm sorry for last chapter, there were a lot of errors, I don't know what happened. I must say I was a bit down... Anyway, I'm publishing this chapter now, 'cause I'm leaving again for my chalet tomorrow and I didn't want to be mean.

Anyway, so I hope you'll like this chapter. R & R.

* * *

**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter five: Plausible impossibilities

Current era: Japan

On Sunday, I opened the shop at eleven o'clock. There never were a lot of clients on Sundays, so I had brought a lot of books to study; I had an exam the next morning.

The day was as I had expected it to be: boring and almost empty. However, an hour before I had to close the shop, a tall young woman entered the boutique. I could tell she wasn't interested into the products. She went straight to the cash desk and presented herself.

"Good afternoon, I'm Li Meiling, private investigator. I'm currently searching for a man and I had been informed that you may have been in contact with this man." Li? The woman had a strong Chinese accent; was she a relative to Li Syaoran? I scrutinised her. She had long black hair tied into a high ponytail and a pale skin. She was five feet eight inches and her silhouette screamed healthiness. Her face was delicate, but I could see determination in her ruby eyes. Suddenly, I realised how much she looked like the stranger I had seen with Tomoyo-chan back at bar; same ebony hair, same features, same height, same skin. I took a chance.

"Yes, I saw you at the bar Friday night. You were talking with my friend." For a brief moment, she hesitated, slightly surprised, and nodded.

"Indeed. I was tracking people who had seen a really tall man, messy brown hair, chocolate orbs. His name is Li Syaoran. My job is to find him, so if you could give me any information on his whereabouts..." She showed me a picture of the handsome man I had only seen twice (in reality). There it was! It was my only chance to have answers!

"Why are you searching for him? Did he do something?" She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but it is confidential. It doesn't concern you whatsoever." My hearth ran a bit faster at the thought of what I was going to say.

"Then, I'm sorry, but what I know will stay confidential as well. It is my life and I can see whoever I want." Li-san frowned and took a moment to think.

"Fine. I work for his family. He escaped a few months ago from his responsibilities and tasks. His family owns an amazing business and he took the place of his deceased father few years ago. I'm his fiancée. Suddenly, he disappeared without a word to his family... though he wrote down a letter for me; he was telling me his life was not what it was supposed to be. Doctors believe he's having a depression or something of the sort. It is really important that we find him before he can harm himself. He might have presented himself under a false name." I nodded thought I didn't believe her whole speech. Even if I wasn't a psychologist yet, I knew the symptoms of a depression and Li-san had none. It was true that depressions are hard to diagnose, but I knew which symptoms could be used to suppose someone had one: no interest, no energy, no initiative...

Li-san was the one who had taken the lead in trying to know me, he had decided to work into business like before leaving his family and he seemed to like to tease me. Li Meiling wasn't telling me the entire truth, but still, I could see she was worried. When she had told me she was his fiancée, my heart had violently fallen into my stomach, but I had been able to see the shadow of her sadness shining into her mesmerizing eyes. Therefore, I told her what I knew.

"I did meet him, but he told me his real name. I don't know where he lives or what he does. Li-san just appears when he wants to. So far, I've talked to him twice; here, when he needed some furniture, and at the bar you were into Friday night. He told me he had left his family, but that's all. I'm sorry; I can't give you any more help. That is all I know." She nodded and smiled weakly.

"Thanks for your help. If you see him again, please call me immediately. Here's my card." She gave a white card with only her name, job and a phone number. Then, she left.

Afterwards, I thought about what she had said. She was a good liar, but since I knew when she had told the truth, I could analyse when she had lied and when she had not. Everything was true beside some small parts. The two Li had said the same thing about him leaving his family. Sadly, she didn't seem to lie when she admitted she was his fiancée, but when it came to doctors' diagnosis, it was clear that it was all made up. I didn't believe one word.

And why? Why did they want so badly for him to come back? He explained to his fiancée he couldn't bear his life anymore and wanted another one. He had the right to do so. Then again, maybe his family believed that he couldn't escape his responsibilities. I didn't like it. One can always choose if he want to fight or not. If Li-san had chosen to change his life, he was in his right; he was not yet married and he was no puppet people can command. Even though this was my opinion, I had decided to do not interfere; it was his life, his decision and his family.

Then, a thought struck me. Why did she lie? She didn't need to... in my mind there wasn't any good reason to do so...

I sighed. I was thinking too much. Plus, I had exams in the coming week; I had to stay focused.

* * *

Two weeks later, I was done with my exams. I had not dreamt of the two lovers once and Li Syaoran never reappeared. Somehow, I felt anxious. I wanted to see him to make sure he was alright; he had been nice towards me. Maybe he had been found by his fiancée. If it was the case, would I ever see him again? The thought was painful. However, Miyako-san had not been troubled by the news. She had shrugged it off saying that if he was here without her, it meant he was not that interested into her. Miyako-san's only problem was that she had not seen him either.

The only Li I had seen during those two weeks was Li Meiling. We ran into each other sometimes and had talked a bit; she wasn't a bad person. She really cared for her fiancé. My only problem with her investigation was that she was following me: not that it was oblivious, but I had noticed her in a black car parked a bit further from my apartment, my job, the restaurant I was eating into etc... I didn't know why, but she was thinking that she would catch Li-san if she was following me.

It was bugging me. Wasn't it a violation of my privacy or something? Then again, I couldn't bring myself to warn the police; I wasn't her target, her fiancé was. Still, I was fed up.

Therefore, I kept my mouth shut about the plans I had about my holidays: I had two weeks of vacation and I was planning to spend atleast one of them free from any stalker. Tomoyo-chan was planning to travel to Australia with her mother and boyfriend so we decided to exchange our gifts when she would come back.

I, on the other hand, wanted to go back to Tomoeda. My father was going to be there for Christmas, but I had not told him I would be there. I knew I was being paranoiac, but I couldn't help it. So Saturday afternoon, I left my apartment to go to the metro station. I didn't need much luggage since I had some stuff back at my father's home, so I took only a backpack to bring some of my belongings. I didn't know if Li Meiling was there, following me, and I didn't try to know.

Once inside the metro station, I stopped in front a map showing all the stations. I searched for the one who would get me to Tokyo's main bibliotheca. I rested my finger on it for a second and finally left to get into a wagon. After a few stations, I quickly got off the train when the doors were closing and hid behind a nearby wall. I tried to peek at the wagon I had been into and the one attached to it.

I saw her. Li Meiling seemed slightly annoyed by my sudden disappearance. Relieved to be at last alone, I got outside, appreciating the fresh air. I managed to get the attention of a taxi driver and ask him to drive me to a train station. Once I reached my destination, I took a ticket for the first train leaving for Tomoeda; twenty minutes and I would be free. I sat down near the door leading me to my train and waited ten minutes to finally be asked to embark into my train. I began to freely breathe only when I sat down on my compartment's comfortable bench, curtains closed.

The train started moving and a sigh escaped my lips; I closed my eyelids, tired of my cinema. I heard the door of my compartment opening. The person opened the curtains. I forced myself to keep my eyes closed; curiosity is not a virtue. Still, I allowed myself to open them after a moment. I couldn't stay like this the whole journey; I would fall asleep and it's never a good idea when you're in a public area.

My breath got caught into my throat when I recognised the person sitting in front of me. From the moment I had seen those eyes, I had not been able to forget them. The person smiled; it was as if the smile was saying that I had been smart, but not enough to escape from the shadowing.

"Not bad for a beginner."Li Syaoran's cockiness was sweating from every word.

"What do you mean? And more importantly what are you doing here Li-san" My heart was hardly pounding into my chest. How the hell had he managed to find me there?! And had Li Meiling done the same?

"You know what I mean. My cousin is nowhere to be seen, so you managed to fool her. And can't I take some vacation from Tokyo too?" He was jubilant; was it a game for him?

"Yes, you can, but not here! I'm tired of being shadowed! And all this because of you! I barely know you! Contact you're damned cousin if you know she's here for you and tell her to leave me alone!" I had not realised until then that I was mad; mad at him, mad at Li Meiling, maybe even mad at Tomoyo-chan for putting ideas in my head... or for possibly hiding things from me.

"I can't do that. It would only get worse. Since the moment she's been following you, I have not taken contact with you to confirm her you had no clue of who I was. Mei Lin will have problem to believe you, now that you're out of her sight." I sighed. Great! How did I have ended up into this mess?! It wasn't my problem! I was only a poor spectator!

"Why don't you face your family and tell them you want to make your own choices and construct your very own life? They should understand. You're an adult; take your responsibilities and spare me. I'm losing my mind here." He shook his head. All trace of amusement was gone from his hazel orbs.

"It's a bit more complicated. They can't accept... what I'm doing." I didn't understand what he meant.

"And what are you doing?" Li-san intensely looked at me; his seriousness was leaving no place for lies or mockery.

"Fancying you." Embarrassed, I looked outside the compartment's window. The silence was petrifying. Suddenly, an inspector entered our little space and controlled our tickets. Once he was outside, I turned back my gaze to Li-san. He was still looking at me.

"How did you know I was here?" He showed no emotion.

"Give me your keychain, please." I suspiciously looked at him, but handed it to him none the less.

"See this?" He showed me a little white pearl attached to one of the little gadgets and decoration tools I had attached to my keychain. I had never noticed the plastic pearl before. I nodded.

"It's a tracking device I put there. I can follow you on internet thanks to my cellular. That's how I knew you were here. I was already in a cab nearby the train station and when I arrived, I saw where you were heading to, so I took a ticket and embarked." Li-san was telling me this story like if it was the most normal thing in the world to track me down! I was so angry at him; he was not better than his cousin! He handed me back my keys. I violently detached the white pearl from my keychain, opened the window and threw the pearl outside.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself?! Don't you have any respect for my private life!? Someone who appreciates someone else wouldn't have acted like this. He would have called and asked." Li-san frowned.

"I would have appreciated to do so, but how? I don't have your phone number and my cousin has always been there ever since she found you. She's a good investigator. Don't underestimate her. I wanted to see you. I know you went to the hospital; I wanted to make sure you were alright." My rage died in my throat. Li-san seemed sincere; he was concerned... And he did have a point.

"I'm fine if you forget the fact that I'm paranoiac and that I need a psychologist to threat my sudden panic crises... like the one I had at the bar." The moment I mentioned this, uneasiness crept onto his face and he passed a hand through his messy hair.

"It was not a panic crisis back then..." How could he know?

"What do you mean?" Li-san sighed.

"It was caused by something. She didn't mean to harm you. It... She thinks she's protecting me..."

"She? Your cousin drugged me and caused this awful pain?" It seemed plausible, but then I thought about that other night in my apartment; she couldn't have caused it back then.

"No. No drug." He was hiding something and I couldn't support any more secrets.

"What then?" Li-san looked annoyed and uneasy, but I swore to myself that I'd get the truth out of his mouth even if I had to threaten his manhood.

"You're not ready to hear this." I closed my eyes trying to calm down.

"The hell I'm not! Do you know how much it hurts? I thought I would die from asphyxiation! So don't tell me I'm not ready to hear whatever you know! The first time, I was in my bed, sleeping and the second I was at the bar. I need to know! I'm losing my sanity! Please!" I showed too much despair to my liking.

Li-san stayed still for a moment, but finally nodded.

"Fine, but you'll have to allow me something." I shivered; a soft energy pulsing through my muscles.

"What would that be?" Li-san sat down by my side and lifted his hand to caress my jaw line. He raised it furthermore towards my ear.

"Don't move." Li Syaoran approached and closed the distance between our eyes. I could see the warmth of his soul into his amazing eyes. Inches by inches, he made the distance between us disappear. My breath got caught in my throat when his familiar lips touched mine. And then... we were gone...

* * *

3500 years B.C. : Japan

I look at him, pain running through my heart and soul. He wants us to stop seeing each other. He needs to devote himself towards another woman...towards his clan. I know I should let him do so. We have no future. But I can't. I tried for Dono'yo, but I can't. He tried too and he didn't succeed. Whatever we choose, we're fooling ourselves, so what's the use?

But none the less, I can't let him go. I can't.

"You don't love me anymore?"

"You know it's not that. But we're not going anywhere. We must... grow up... move forward. You're a Wild cat, I'm a Wolf. It can never work."

"What's in a name? And what else can make you grow more than love can? I love you because of who you are, not what you are. Kami-sama chose us because they knew we would accept each other despite our roots and I believe in their judgement. And I can't forget you! Go if you want. But I want you to keep in mind that my heart belongs to you." I want to cry my despair, but I don't want him to stay because he pities me. He has the right to freely choose. I have made my decision, so can he.

"I'm sorry." Standing tall and proud, but sorrow shadowing his magnificent eyes, he leaves the place where we met and never looked back.

I climb in the tree I was in when I had attacked him and the tears begin to pour down. He has chosen. I lost. I understand him, but it still hurts. Never hear his deep voice again. Never share his interests again. Never touch him again. Never feel his warm arms around my body again. Never kiss him again. Might as well be dead, it wouldn't change a single thing.

No more tears to share, I climb down the tree. The sun is almost down. I should get back home, but I don't want to... I rest my back against the trunk. The moon rises into the dark sky.

He's not coming back; I feel so empty.

A branch cracks. Someone is there. Xiao Lang? I doubt it. Silently, I leave, slightly afraid of what might appear. Suddenly, a deep sumptuous voice calls my name.

"Ying Fa! You're still here?!" I don't turn around. I know it's him, but I don't want to see him. If I do, I won't be able to let him go. Xiao Lang deserves his freedom and if he wants to leave once again, it would kill me.

His warmth envelops me when he wraps his arms around me.

"Don't. If you're not coming back, don't." He places a kiss on my neck. His lips are soft and gentle. "What are doing back here?"

"I've kissed my woman-to-be. I was seeking courage. I found it when I realised that courage wasn't lying there. It's into the caress of your lips... in the depth of your eyes...You're making me grow into a far better man than my clan could ever do. You deserve a better life, but would I suffice?" I shiver into his arms.

"You're not going to leave again?" His grip tightens.

"Not until you ask me to." I manage to turn around and raise my head. He knows what I want: his lips. He gladly offers them to me.

* * *

Current era: Japan

I gained back my sight, my eyes focusing on Li-san's handsome face. He wasn't kissing me anymore, but had remained by my side. Had I a dreamt? No, I could still feel his heat on the tips of my lips. What had happened then? And why the hell did I let a man I barely knew kiss me?

Gathering my thoughts, I noticed Li-san was perfectly still. Unaffected... He knew something.

"What just happened?" I wanted to add that I have been dreaming of those things before, but I restrained myself. I wanted to know how much he acknowledged my state.

"I provoked a flash... a memory of the past." I remained silent, but motioned him to continue. He sighed; he was not thrilled to tell me those things. With those first words, I could have already believed he was mentally ill.

"You have seen... us; Xiao Lang and Ying Fa. I was ready to leave you to take my responsibilities as the future head of my clan: the Wolf. We were enemies. We were not supposed to love each other, but it happened because the Kami-samas wanted it. I don't know why they decided to match us. You... Ying Fa seemed to know why, but she never told my ancestor. In the end, they died, killed by their tribes." I was motionless, but a typhoon was raging in my head. I had never told anyone about my dreams, and Li-san seemed to know them pretty well. How? Was the answer in his words? Scientifically, it was impossible, but could science really explain everything. It had not been able to explain my crises nor my high brain's activity. Could I let myself believe in those fairytales?

I had believed in those sorts of things when I was younger, but I had grown to learn that you need proofs to rely on before having faith in something. Where were those proofs now? He knew perfectly what my dreams were. Was it enough? Could he explain me anything else?

"What else do you know?"

"Over the centuries, our souls came back. However, our love was always forbidden even if we were not enemies anymore. Our family always tried to separate us, but we couldn't stay away from each other. I don't know how, but each time, they seemed to know who to target. Maybe their souls are as old as ours, though I've come to understand that they use people we trust to separate us. In this life, I know my cousin is one of them. You might be able to guess on your own who could be your babysitter. The crisis you had in the bar was because of my cousin; she has used a family's talisman to... disturb you when you were with me. Far enough from it, it can't harm you though." I felt like if my brain was to explode; too much information, too many impossibilities or possibilities... how could such a story be true. Then again, it could explain a lot of things.

"You have already kissed me once; it wasn't a dream. That's how you manage to put a tracking device on my keychain." It wasn't a question; it was a statement. Li-san nodded, apparently not ashamed of his boldness.

"In our first life, how did we meet?" Li-san didn't think twice; he knew perfectly the answer.

"You tried to kill me because Wolves had raped your mother and caused her death. You wanted revenge... even if it wasn't on the good Wolf."

"What happened on our second meeting?" He smirked.

"You were unlucky enough to be hunted by a wild cat while watching me and I killed it. My men wanted to sacrifice you, but I saved you once again. However, you brought me with you when I tried to throw you from a cliff." I grumbled that he had deserved it, but he ignored my comment.

"And you kissed me. Do I have your thrust now?" He seemed so cocky at this moment, that I was tempted to say "no" and it should have been the correct answer; this tale was crazy! However, it all made sense. He couldn't know what my dreams were about, but he did. He explained the crisis at the bar... but what about the one in my room? Did he have an explanation for this one too?

"I had a crisis in my bedroom once. How could it be? You weren't there." He frowned.

"You said before that you were sleeping, right?"

"Yes."

"Dreaming?" I nodded.

"About me?" Li-san seemed to like the idea.

"Don't flatter yourself! I was dreaming about the... my past. I was with my friend. She was ordering me to stop seeing Xiao Lang." He nodded, meaning he had understood.

"Someone wanted you to stop remembering your past. I'm sorry, but your friend with long hair must be the one who did it." I shook my head; I couldn't believe that. Tomoyo-chan couldn't harm me. We were friends since forever; we were always there for each other.

"Eriol-kun..." Li-san stopped me.

"Is he in your vision?" I shook my head. Eriol-kun had never been in my dreams... ever. Tomoyo-chan, however, had been in them. I felt betrayed. I felt empty. I felt... alone.

Slowly, the train stopped. Tomoeda. Home.

* * *

I feel so sick right now, it's not even funny! I make mistake every two words! Anyway, I know there's still some things that are not explain, but it might become clearer next chapter. I cannot write the whole story in one chapter, now can I?

I will still hide some things though. I'm so mysterious lol.... not really...

I feel so sick right now, it's not even funny, so please forgive me for the errors. Anyway, pray for me (it hurts!!!) ... I'm not really that religious actually...

Have fun and take care!

Lune-diamant


	6. Back and Forth

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS

Hello there! I'm not late this time!

Okay, so this chapter is a bit longer 'cause there's history in it and a lot of explanation. I don't know if you'll find it interesting, but you (readers) needed it. 'Cause I know the whol story and you don't... obliviously.

I worked all day long so I'm a bit tired, but I worked really hard to correct my errors.

There's true facts in this chapter, but not everything is true (the volcanoes thing). Well on with the story, I don't want to be boring, :P

Tchüss!

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter six: Back and Forth

Current era: Japan

Once on the platform, I turned towards Li-san. I was in pain, I wanted to cry, but I remained emotionless. I was not done with him. I had some more questions.

"What are you going to do now?" He looked around us, surveying the area.

"Well, I'll find a hotel and I'll go shopping for a few clothes. I didn't bring any luggage."

"You're planning to stay here?" He nodded.

"For a little while; I have some research to do and I feel you have some more questions." I nodded.

"There's no hotel in Tomoeda." Li-san seemed embarrassed.

"Oh. Didn't see that coming."

"You'll be staying at my house. Touya's gone to visit his boyfriend's family. Here's the address. Go get what you need and come to my home. You still have few hours before the closure." I knew I was acting like a robot, but I couldn't do otherwise; I needed to be alone, but I needed to be able to reach him whenever I wanted to even more. I believe he understood how I was feeling.

"Okay, I'll pass by." Li-san left after calling a taxi for me. He didn't seem too thrilled by my idea though... I didn't know why...

* * *

Once I was in front of my house's door, I took out my keychain and observed it. What mess had I brought myself into? Since the very beginning I was told that I could choose my battles and at this moment, I felt like I couldn't escape from this one. I sighed and tried to paste a smile on my lips. I didn't want my father to worry about me; therefore I needed to smile like I almost always do when I'm with him.

I unlocked the door silently; I wished to give him a surprise.

"Dad! I'm home!" I heard fast footsteps coming towards me from the living room. My father appeared into the hall, happiness sweating from his facial expression and voice. I instantly felt soothed; I was home.

"Sakura?! What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming home for the holidays!" He strongly embraced me. I giggled.

"I wanted to surprise you; of course I was planning to spend Christmas with you!" My father brightly smiled; it made me so happy. I had almost forgotten about this horrid story of reincarnation.

"I'm glad you did." While asking me how I had been, he helped me to bring my bag to my bedroom. Once back downstairs, I talked to him about Li-san.

"Dad. Since Touya said he wouldn't be there, I invited a friend here."

"Do I know your friend?"

"No, you don't. He didn't know there wasn't any hotel in Tomoeda, so I invited him over. Is that a problem?" I saw a hint of nostalgia in my father's eyes.

"No, there's no problem. Is he your boyfriend, Sakura?" I denied it. After talking a bit more with my father, he offered me to go take a bath while he was cooking a meal for us two and our guest. I gladly accepted his idea and went to my room to take some clean clothes and then headed towards the bathroom.

I entered into my bath after showering and cleaning myself. The warmth of the water was soothing my tensed muscles and my confused mind. I made myself comfortable and allowed my brain to think about what I had learnt during the day.

Information number one: My dreams were no dreams. It had happened... Long time ago. Second: I was one of the major characters of this story. What now? Did this mean that I had no choice, but to stay by Li-san's side? Was it a good thing or a bad thing? I always thought that I was the master of my life... and what would happen if Li-san and I really got together? Would the ones who want to separate us be mad? What would they do? Who were they?

Tomoyo-chan.

I thought about my first dream; Xiao Lang's woman looked exactly like Li Meiling... and she was there, thousands of years later trying to keep him away from me. Was it really the same for Tomoyo-chan? Her old self and her current self were exactly the same too. Back then, she didn't say a word, but she was there... holding me while I was dying... Surely it would be enough reason to keep me away from Li-san. It would explain why she had told me to keep away from him because he would hurt me.

So she knew something! Why?

Why did she know about this story while I had been lost in the dark? In my dreams, Ying Fa was the one to know why the Kami-samas had chosen Xiao Lang and her... Yet her brother had said that they had disapproved their relationship...

Ying Fa's brother! My brother! He had been included into this mess too!

For a moment, I felt extremely dizzy and it was not the fault of the steaming water. I wanted so much to close my eyes and realise it was all just a dream! I was not fit for this kind of... adventure. I had been dreaming about some, but they were much more cute and romantic. This one was a nightmare!

Taking a deep breath, I got out of my bath and wrapped my body into a nice thick towel.

I had a choice. No one, not even the gods, could decide of what I would do, who I would like and what I would think. Destiny is a myth; people have the choice, no matter what.

And I chose to learn a bit more about the situation. If I was to fall in love with Li-san, it was going to be my decision, but at the moment, I wanted to know more about what had happened...over the centuries and I wished to understand why Li-san was here. How did he find me? What were his intentions? So many questions...

Quickly, I put a white shirt with long sleeves and a pair of black pants. I tied my slightly curled hair into a ponytail and headed downstairs. When I got into the kitchen, my father was cooking lasagne for dinner. I helped him by chopping some vegetables and arranging the table.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. He was there... I left everything and went to the door. I opened it on a really serious Li Syaoran. I noticed his hands were tightly clutching the bags into his hands. I frowned, anxious of his expression.

"Did something happen?" His lips tightened.

"No, but... Listen, I don't know what will happen in there... Your father might be..." I stopped him. I didn't want to hear that.

"Stop this sentence immediately or you'll regret it. We'll see, okay? Now, please follow me and don't say anything weird. My father is happy to welcome a friend... let's not alarm him, please." I was frightened by the idea Li-san had suggested. My father was so loving and caring; he couldn't be one the people who wanted to take away my right to choose!

I took his new clothes and let the bags in a corner of the living room. Normally, I would have brought them to the guest's room, but I wanted to make sure that everything was under control first.

Slowly, I entered the kitchen followed by Li-san, my heart racing into my chest. Instantly, my father raised his head from his cooking and looked at my companion.

He was smiling. My father quickly wiped his hands with a dish towel and walked to Li-san to present himself. My "friend" bowed to my father; I could see relief in his eyes. I exhale; my father would always be someone I could rely on.

"I'm Li Syaoran, nice to meet you. Thank you very much for allowing me to stay here for a few days, I didn't know there was no hotel here." I was happy to see that Li-san was normal with my father. He was nice and polite. He was showing so much self-confidence that no one could doubt his honesty.

"The pleasure is mine. My name is Kinomoto Fujitaka. I am happy to receive you in my house. My daughter has not told me much about you, why don't you tell me your story? The dinner should be ready in a little while. Would you like something to drink?" After politely rejecting the offer, Li-san, my father and I went to sit into the living room. My dad took the sofa, leaving the couch for my companion and me.

Li-san answered to my father's question about his roots neglecting to say that his family was highly unpleased with his presence in Japan and I have to admit that they were both enjoying each other's company; I understood why a bit later in the conversation when my father asked about Li-san's parents. His mother was a really nice woman, but devoted to her duties. Her son had always been taught to behave like a true leader and was never really allowed to be a child; he couldn't. His mother had inherited her husband's company who had died when Li-san was sill at a young age. Therefore, it had been decided that he was going to be the new leader of it when he would be old enough. Of course, during his growth, his mother had wanted him to be prepared and forgot to see in her son a mere child. It wasn't really her fault... Moreover, she was seeing in her son her deceased husband... No one could blame her for being under a great amount of stress and sadness and therefore, makes mistakes. Anyone would.

I eyed Li-san politely talking to my father. His eyes were shining and he was smiling. I knew how it felt to miss a parent's presence and I knew how my dad had the ability to provide this sensation of belonging to his family.

After a moment, we went back to the kitchen to eat dinner. My father began to tell us how his trip to his archaeological site had been. Few weeks ago, he was in Hokkaido, learning the past of the Ainu people with their oral legends.

They have a characteristic language so he had been in need of a translator, but he was happy with what he had been able to find. Since I was almost positive my dream was about Ainu people, I informed Li-san about my knowledge.

"The characters of the story you told me about earlier today were one of them." Li-san nodded, understanding what I meant, but since Li-san was coming from China, he had no idea who the Ainu people were, so my father educated him a bit.

"The Ainu people were the first one to set foot on the lands of Japan. We, archaeologists, believe they arrived from northern Russia, but some believe they might have come from Australia, Philippines and such. They came in Japan before the invention of writing, but even now, they don't have any writing system. Their knowledge is passed only orally; it might explain why they're losing their culture. About a thousand years later, a great lord and his army coming from the East forced them to retreat into Hokkaido's island. The majority of the Ainu people died, but some traveled east and adapted to those lands while others established themselves where they had been pushed to. A lot of Japanese have Ainu's blood in their veins, but very few know it; over the centuries, most quitted their little village to live like new Japan's population. "

I looked at Li-san while my father was talking about his work; he was drinking every word. Maybe Li-san was realising that he had not chosen the good job: stars were shining in his dazzling eyes making him even more attractive.

"One day, I found a cave in Hokkaido where drawings had been painted there. This cave had been buried; an earthquake I believe. Now, like a told you, the Ainu people use rarely writing or painting to teach their knowledge; therefore, what I had found was something that was not supposed to be forgotten by them. I asked to those people what was drawn on the cave's walls. It was the legend; the one I told you about when you were little Sakura. Up until then, I never had the proof that Nadeishiko's, my deceased wife's, story was true. I believe she got it from her family... maybe they're descended from an Ainu family... Oh! I'm sorry, you surely don't know about this fairytale..." While he was telling Li-san about the forbidden love, the drama and the spirits' angst, I thought about my mother's family.

I didn't know much about them. They had not accepted about my mother's marriage with my father and had ceased to contact her. I had heard my mother talking about them to my father once when I was little, before her death. I believe she had said that they had wanted to control her life like they had done for everyone in the family and had refused to inflict this to her children. I was glad she had done so, but I would have liked to know more about my mother's family.

I returned my attention on my father's speech when he attracted my curiosity with a weird founding he had done.

"I took contact with a friend of mine, a geologist, and asked him about the Mount Fuji's eruptions because it is the highest and most important in Japan, therefore the one into the story. Thanks to his diggings and tests in laboratory, he can tell approximately when it had erupted. The technique has its limits, but he was able to date one of its eruptions around 3 500 years before Christ, so a bit after Ainu people's arrival in Japan and before their expulsion meaning that they might have believed that this eruption was a consequence of the Wolf's and Wild cat's love. But there's more! My friend told me that in his researches and while exchanging some information with his colleagues in different parts of the World, he had realised that earthquakes and volcanoes' eruptions had occurred into the same period of time! He is searching for a cause, but for the moment he can only provide hypothesis. It's hard to know how was the magma's activity back in 3 500 B.C."

I looked at my father completely stunned: there were proofs! I couldn't deny the existence of this adventure ever again.

The problem still was that I was not her; I was not Ying Fa! I had her soul, but I would always be Kinomoto Sakura and I had the right to decide what I want to do with my life.

I listened to me father and Li-san's conversation; they had changed subject. Li-san had not seemed really surprised by the information we had received, though I was almost sure he had never heard about this story before. I guessed that he was not "overreacting" like I was because he didn't have any doubt about this whole tale while I was desperately searching for some.

"What do you think Sakura?" My father looked at me, not aware of my confusion.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Li-san believes in destiny; the path of the genes." I eyed my partner; he was smirking. Clearly Li-san wanted to tease me. Well, he was about to see that I was not that easy to play with.

"Then that would be saying that if a thievery gene was going to be discovered, the baby who'd be caught having it would, with no doubt, become one and we would have to watch him from the very moment he opened his eyes for the first time. However, this attitude towards him could be the cause of the transformation into a thief because we would be implanting in his mind this idea that it's all he can be. It's the Pygmalion effect also named the self-fulfilling prophecy. Another example: the movie Minatory report with Tom Cruise. Who can really tell the future? People can change if they want to." Li-san's smirk had not vanished once. He was still looking as confident as ever.

"I never said that people can't change. I did change. However, they have limits created by genes or Kami-sama, whatever you believe in, and they change according to those limits. Someone who is extremely shy won't be the life of the party even with the best therapy. Weren't you listening to your teacher the day I accompanied you to your class?" He had won the game. I gave him a small smile, showing him I was surrendering.

"I'll make the dishes. You two can have coffee in the living room." It was the least I could do to thank my father for the dinner.

"Actually, if I'm going to stay over for a few days, I'd like to help with the dishes." Li-san respectfully bowed to my father to ask him if it was okay with him. He had no problem with this, but he felt he should stay and take the place of his guest.

"I can stay and help." I smiled to my father.

"No, you rest or... Don't you have to hand in your exams' results to your students soon?" I could read surprise in his eyes.

"I forgot! Thanks my heart!" He left the kitchen.

Li-san came to my side and took a towel from its hook on the wall.

"Your father is nice." I nodded.

"I'm sorry for yours."

"It was a long time ago." We stayed silent for a while, but after a moment, I just couldn't support it anymore.

"What's going to happen now?" I did dare to look at him. If I was to see his gorgeous face, all my logic thoughts would drift away from my grasp.

"You're going to hand me over the plate you're washing." I raised my eyes to the ceiling before looking at him. Bad move. I felt even more intimidated now that I was alone with him. How could he have such a power on me? It wasn't fair: I certainly didn't have any influence on his mood.

"You know I wasn't talking about that." He nodded gaining back his seriousness.

"There's something I didn't tell you." I shivered.

"Tell me now."

"Every of our past lives ended up by our death at a young age. Only once we managed to... connect... our first life. If our babysitters don't succeed in keeping us away from each other, than they kill us before we manage to become one. It seems that it is what they fear. I don't why though. You knew back in our first life. " I stood still. Sex. It's always about sex.

"I won't sleep with you if it's what you want from me." A dry smile appeared on his lips.

"It wouldn't work anyway. In one of our life, I did it with you to get this whole story over with; I wanted to live. You were serious about me, but I wasn't and I screwed everything. Over the centuries, I was often selfish..."

"You were an asshole."

"And I have been one in this life too. I changed." I, who had never done something bad and wild in this life, was highly curious of what he meant by those words.

"What did you do?"

"I was waiting for your arrival. I don't know how, but you had always been able to find me no matter where I was. However, in this life, you were absent. You were supposed to come when I turned twenty. You didn't. At first, I thought it was great... I was fourteen years old when my father died. The night after learning about his death, when I had finally fallen asleep, I woke up after dreaming about us. Confused, I headed towards my window and looked at the full moon. It was like if someone was loading hundreds of lifetime's information into my brain. I don't know if I fainted, but when I gained back consciousness, oddly, I was still looking at the moon. However, I knew this life was not my first one and I knew every one of them had ended tragically at twenty. From this moment, I began to do everything I wanted. I tried drugs, I smoked, I entered into gangs who would do illegal car races, and I was one of the drivers, I played with women... because I knew what was about to come and I wanted to have fun before dying. Psychologists told my mother it was because I was traumatised by my father's death. And even if I was screwed up, I was still one of the best when it came to my studies. I thought that life itself was mocking me. I was good in everything and still, I was destined to die at twenty? For a woman's assets? Come on!" I listened to his little speech, completely silent. I could understand his reasons for behaving this way, but the more he was talking, the more I was thinking he really had been selfish; he had the right to hurt himself if he wanted to, but he had no right to hurt others.

"Then, I turned twenty. You were supposed to come a bit before my birthday, but you never did and I was so happy; I was free. I began to act less drastically and entered the head council of my father's company while I was still in university. I accepted Mei Ling as my fiancée even if I was still going out with other women. I accepted her because I knew I wouldn't find someone who would fit with me, but I still had to search for THE person. Finally, one night, Mei Ling tried to seduce me into her bed to show me she was worth my attention. I thought that since she was my fiancée, I should like his fiancé too, so I responded f..." I stopped him: I really didn't want to hear that. His sexual life wasn't something I wanted to talk about.

"Okay, we're done with the dishes. Come I'll lead you to Touya's room. It will be yours for the time being." I headed towards the living room and took his packages. I heard him sigh behind me while helping me out with his luggage. Upstairs, I opened Touya's room's door and put the bags on his bed and turned around to leave the room, but Li-san had silently closed the door behind us. I tried to see if I could just push him away and leave... No chance.

"You didn't let me finish." He was frowning, unhappy that I was unwilling to let him continue his little story.

"It's not my business." He took a step towards me.

"I responded to her..." I couldn't let him go on. I didn't know why, but there was something inside of that was screaming, begging for him to stop.

"Stop! If you have no self-respect, then please respect atleast my will!" He was standing in front of me; hurt darkening his eyes and his head low, looking at me.

"I responded for a little while, but when it got intense, my breath died into my throat and a throbbing pain pulsed into my chest. I ran out and went to my room. The pain was gone, but I knew why I had panicked, why I had felt so... guilty and dirty. I respected Mei Ling very much, I still do... and I had come to the conclusion that I had to settle down and forget everything I knew. However, the moment I told myself that, I realised that no matter which path I'd choose, I'd feel lost, guilty and lonely; you had to be in my life. I had tried everything, but one: you. Selfishly, I decided that I had to find you. I had not grown into a good man because I had not chosen wisely my way; I had to know if you were the path I had to choose." I felt a bit insulted; I was no prize of consolation!

"No. You didn't need to come. We were both fine when we didn't know each other, well I was and I'm certainly not responsible for your bad luck: I didn't even know you! Since my sixteenth birthday, you were only a dream and I was perfectly fine with it. I was not in danger."

"You are right. I endanger you, but tell me something. Was your life before my coming thrilling? Were you fully satisfied? If you had died before meeting me, could you have said that you had lived every moment of your life knowing nothing was missing into it?"

"Of course not! I'm only twenty!"

"At twenty years old I had done almost everything that could be done and I can tell you that I would have been miserable if I had died before meeting you."

"Now what? You're going to tell me you fell in love at first sight?!" He chuckled.

"You're such a romantic! Let's say I was attracted at first sight. I told you before: I want to know you." I didn't say a word, walked round him and exited to my room next door.

I closed my door and stayed there for five minutes. My legs weakened under me and I slipped on the floor. Refusing to think about what Li-san had told me, I weakly got back on my feet, put on my pyjama and left my room to go see my father. He was in his study room still correcting exams.

"Dad?" I entered the room and hugged him from behind; he patted my arms.

"Coming to say goodnight?" I nodded. He turned towards me.

"Sakura, are you alright?" I nodded with a smile, but my father was not convinced.

"Did you have a fight with Li-san?" I shook my head.

"No, I'm just tired... Time goes by so fast!" He pursed his lips.

"Did you try to talk to Li-san about that?"

"We're not a couple, dad." My father chuckled.

"Even if you're not, this man seems mature enough to listen. And he seems really attached to you."

"How can you know?" The corner of my father's lips rose up.

"Are you not the one who always told me eyes were the mirrors of our soul? Well his eyes are pretty expressive." I sighed.

"What if he's searching for another woman? What if he sees her into me?" He frowned.

"Then, if it's really the case, you have to open his eyes. Someone who likes someone else would do what's best for this person. He would listen to her." I hugged him.

"Thanks dad. Goodnight!" I walked back to my room, but when I passed in front of Li-san's room, I couldn't help, but knock.

"Come in." Li-san was sitting on Touya's bed. He immediately rose up when he saw me, but I could guess he had been thinking while resting his chin in his hand because it was slightly reddened.

"I am not Ying Fa."

"And I'm not Xiao Lang."

"I don't want to die." Tears were forming into my eyes and I was fighting to keep them inside; I didn't want to show him how weak I was. Li-san looked down.

Suddenly, he took his bags, went round me and exited the room. I stayed stunned for a while before following him. I caught him at the door while he was putting his shoes back on.

"What are you doing?" I knew the answer and it felt wrong. Since when did I begin to throw guest and nice people away? Since when did I begin to bend in front of destiny or strangers? Since when did I stop believing in myself? It was my life! I owned those murderous shadows nothing. I can fight if I need to and there's one thing that I'm sure of: I have the choice.

"I can still say goodbye." Rage was building up in my chest.

"I can too, but I won't. You're staying." Li-san ignored me and put his coat on, avoiding my eyes. I grabbed his coat and forced him to look at me.

"I don't love you, but I like you and whoever they are, they can't choose who I can or cannot see! There must be a reason for our reincarnation. We wouldn't be coming back if our link was against nature! I don't want to die and I won't. I'll find out what's the meaning of this story, but I need you." I meant every word: I did like him. Li-san was nice, polite, smart, sensitive and amusing for what I had been able to witness. He was not a bad person no matter what he had done before our meeting. Moreover, he talked; men rarely talk about what they feel or think... if not with other men than with women. I could see myself falling in love with him and it felt more right than chasing after Yuuki-san.

I took his coat off and grabbed his bags.

"I don't know what will happen, but I'm the only master of my life and right now, what I want is your presence by my side." I wanted to add that I felt more complete with him around me, but I didn't; he didn't need anymore flattering.

"You're really a confusing woman, do you know that?" I smiled.

"Part of my charm." We headed back to Touya's room.

* * *

Okay, so sorry for all the blabla, but you really needed it. Mommy knows best (kidding)!

Well, I'll be working hard on the next chapter, don't worry, there will be more action! I'm not an old lady :p

Okay going to sleep now!

Review if you feel like it! I answer back.

Lune-diamant


	7. Hopefully

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS

Hey there! Me again!

I have one thing to say, so listen carefully: MY EARS HURT LIKE HELL! I just pierced them again... for the fifth time each side... I'm maso lol (No I'm not). I want to find this cool earring, you know, like the one in the movie Mamma Mia, the mother has a long one... it's hard to describe... just think the Vampire in Midnight Secretary. It's a manga... for adult women... but I swear it's not my fault. I knew the author and wanted to read all her work, so I did. It's not that bad either. You don't understand? Read it, and you'll understand, but it's good.

Okay, anyway... I swear, the chapters are becoming more and more difficult to write: not because I don't have any idea, but the evolution of relationships and minds are quite difficult to write... for me atleast... Is it going too fast? Can readers believe in their reactions? etc...

Anyway, on with the story...

R&R

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* * *

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter seven: Hopefully...

Current era: Japan

Both sitting on Touya's bed, Li-san was letting me question him about some things that were still a bit unclear.

"So how did you find me?" Li-san frowned like if something was on his mind.

"That's where it gets...disconcerted. The day after this night I told you about, I received a thick envelope. Inside, I found photos of you, of your roomies, friends and people you're meeting in Tokyo. There were photos and information on your apartment and your boutique. I didn't hire a private investigator, yet those were made by a professional and this person knew what and who I was searching. I tried to determinate from where the package came, but the address was a fake one. Still, I took a chance and took a plane for Tokyo after taking some arrangements, apartment and job in Tokyo, and secretly created an account to transfer a good amount of money on it before leaving. My family can't track me down. I got myself new credit cards, new passport, new name... The only they knew was that I was gone to Japan. As you can see, Mei Ling is pretty good when it comes to tracking down somebody: she managed to find you." I kept silent, thinking for a minute.

"This person who helped you to find me... he or she wanted us to meet. There must be a reason and this stranger knows it. We have to find him or her. But how?" Li-san shook his head, motioning he too ignored how to find this person.

"Okay, let's put this aside for now. Do you know why I can't access my ancient memories like you do?" Li-san ran a hand through his messy hair.

"To... gain back our memories, we need an activating event. It always occurs when I'm fourteen: the death of my father and then, the sight of the moon. You, on the other hand, get them back at sixteen years old. Your activating event has something to do with your mother, but yours died. I believe it stopped process; you were able to have this first dream I had too, but not all the info like in your previous lives. That is why you didn't come for me." I nodded. My eyes were burning and I looked at the alarm clock of my brother to acknowledge how late it was: Two in the morning.

"Does that mean that I'll never completely gain my memories back?" I didn't know if it was a good thing or not.

"I don't know. We did manage to provoke some souvenirs before, but I can't tell if you'll remember everything. It's the first time I've seen that." I nodded once again.

"So what's happening now?"

"Well, since I'm the one who can remember our lives, I'll do some researches about those periods. I remember Einstein had discovered his formula, E = MC2, before our death... but beside that I only remember in which periods of time, sometimes even the year, we died into. Maybe there's a reason for our appearance during those periods. If, right after our deaths, nothing happened, then maybe our relationship really is a bad thing because the only time us two really eloped, volcanoes came into eruptions."

"What if something happened?" Li-san intensely looked at me.

"I don't know. It depends..." I nodded. He smirked.

"You should really go to sleep. You're exhausted." I nodded one more time; my vocabulary always seems to reduce when I'm tired.

"Goodnight Li-san." I got up n my feet and headed towards the door.

"Call me Syaoran-kun." I had heard him, but I continued to walk.

"Then, I'm Sakura-chan." I opened the door and looked at him.

"Not Ying Fa." I closed the door on a smirking Syaoran-kun. Whatever relationship we had or were supposed to have, it was beginning to feel natural... even if it had started horridly.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, the sun was shining outside and the sky was clear meaning the weather was dreadfully cold. It was nine thirty.

I rapidly went to the bathroom to take a shower, brush my teeth and wash my hair. After drying it, I came back to my room and put on a warm ocean blue sweater that was matching my eyes and a pair of white jean pants.

I got out into the corridor and slightly knocked on Syaoran-kun's room. There was no answer. I silently opened the door only to discover an empty room and a perfectly neat bed.

Confused, I rapidly headed downstairs only to run into my lost friend who was into the living... on one hand... feet in the air... naked torso... what the hell was he doing?

"Umm... First, what are you doing? Second, couldn't you do it with a shirt on?" Syaoran-kun got back on his feet with nimbleness and put on a white shirt he had left on the couch; he was smirking.

"Sorry. Morning training. It's a habit... and I didn't realise my... lack of clothes would cause you any agitation." Oh the nerves of that guy!

"Yeah, yeah, you were just showing off... and it didn't cause me any agitation as you'd like to believe. I just thought it was odd because we're in winter." Syaoran-kun lifted an eyebrow.

"We're inside and there was nobody beside me before you came: how could I be a show off if there's no audience." I sighed.

"Anyway." I headed towards the kitchen to prevent any other self humiliation, but the moment Syaoran-kun realised I was leaving the room, he tried to stop with a proposition...

"Don't you want to try?" I looked up at him.

"To show off? No, you're doing it pretty well." Syaoran-kun chuckled.

"Come on, I'll help you to get on only one hand." I bit my lower lips; I was able to accomplish a candle when I was a cheerleader, but that was a few years ago. I wasn't sure that I was willing to risk to make a fool of myself (again) in front of him.

The hell with pride! I decided to try it out; I used to love to do gymnastics. Every time I was able to accomplish flips or tough moves, I would have this feeling of self-accomplishment and I liked that. I advanced towards him and got on my two hands in front of him: I wasn't that rusty.

"Wow, watch out... but not bad, Sakura-chan."

"I was a cheerleader when I was in high school. Now, would you please tell me how to get on one hand?"

"You just have to shift your weight correctly." He put his hands on my waist to keep me balanced. "Try." I did what I was told, but I couldn't help but mock him.

"I knew you had something in your dirty mind when you proposed me to try." I finally succeeded to find my balance and to control my muscles.

"You're right: I had something in my mind, but not what you think." On those words, he let go of my waist and I must be honest: I had not realised he had been such an important help in keeping me straight. My elbow started bending and I tried to get on my two hands instead of only one, but it was already too late. Slowly, I began to fall toward the floor... until Syaoran-kun grabbed me back by my thighs and landed me softly on the wooden floor. He slightly got back to let a respectable distance between us.

"I wanted to show you that you can't do everything by yourself. You asked for my help; be sure to use it." I was panting from the fright he had provided me. I got on my knees and frowned at me.

"What's the meaning of this lesson?! I didn't do anything to give you the impression that I don't believe in you." Syaoran-kun sadly looked at me.

"I didn't say that; I said that it was in your nature to try to accomplish tasks by yourself, but you must ask for my assistance, okay? Over the centuries, you always thought it was your duty to take everything on your shoulders; that attitude gets us nowhere. Better safe than sorry." Syaoran-kun helped me to get up.

"Alright, but next time you want to lecture me, please warn me." He smiled and nodded. Once again, I headed towards the kitchen, but this time, Syaoran-kun followed me.

"Where's my dad? Do you know if he's still sleeping?"

"No, he needed to go to the grocery store, but he didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh. Have you eaten?" He nodded. I took an apple in the fridge and sat at the table.

"That's no breakfast." I smiled and look at the clock on the wall.

"I'm not hungry... and we should leave for the library soon; we don't know how much time we'll need to accomplish our researches and since tomorrow is Christmas' Eve, it will be closed for two whole days. I can't wait that long."

While I was finishing my not-really-a-breakfast, Syaoran-kun called for a taxi; we could have walked the cold was too strong.

Once the cab was there, we headed outside after putting on our coats and locking the door.

* * *

When we arrived at the library, it had just opened so it was completely empty except for the librarian. We took possession of a table and sat down in front of computers to search which books could be interesting. Syaoran-kun gave me the task to see if there was anything about Einstein that could be linked to us. I noted every relevant book, but I decided to add to my research some books about volcanoes. I felt there was something there that needed to be found.

Einstein did help me much; I didn't know what to search for! Of course, I knew that the formula Einstein had invented had leaded to the invention of the atomic bomb even if it wasn't the scientist's will, but I couldn't see what this had to do with Syaoran-kun and me.

Defeated, I took one of the books about volcanoes and began to read it. I knew they were dangerous and destructive, but what I had not realised until then, was that even if people acknowledged their precariousness, they were still living right next to them and not necessarily because there was no other place to go! Those people were staying there because volcanoes are great for the environment. Even if eruptions destroy volcanoes' surroundings, the consequences can still be appreciated: volcanoes nourish the earth. Farmers who cultivate at their foot have far better harvest and they don't need all those synthetic substances to have great products. And what if there was no volcano? Wouldn't Earth be like a balloon filled with too much air? It would be far too much fragile and would easily explode.

So there was two ways to understand the situation of my first dream: the eruptions were a good thing or they were not and I strongly wished it was the first option.

"Syaoran-kun, I think I found something encouraging." Syaoran-kun replied to me without raising his nose from the book he was reading.

"And I think I found something interesting." He slid the book towards me and put a sheet of notes on it. He showed me some dates.

"I found a book reuniting all the big events of humanity. All the death's dates I can remember are inside of this book linked to an invention or a beginning of a new way to use our environment and all of them made men more and more sophisticated or powerful; the atomic bomb, the invention of the car, the pesticides, the industrial revolution, the printing invention... And I can't be sure because it's hard to know the dates back in Antic Rome or in medieval Times, but I believe our deaths coincide with new living style such as the new way to cultivate the grounds. In medieval Times, the farmers began to separate their fields in three parts: one for the cereal, one for the vegetables and one in fallow. Then they would operate a rotation every year. It can't be just coincidences, but yet, I don't know what it means; a lot of inventions are pure genius even if they are destructive for the environment, but that 's the way men are." I kept silent, intensely thinking about what he had just told and what I had read. Somehow, it all connected even if I couldn't figure out what was our role in this story.

"All of them are a threat for environment! Every time we died, an invention appeared right after that! The atomic bomb pollutes air, earth, water; cars do too... The printing invention leaded to the forest devastation to fulfill the need of paper...during the industrial revolution, we began to use coal... and the list goes on and on. With every invention we took something from Earth and only gave back destruction... However, volcanoes' eruptions destroy humans' buildings, but bring earth's fertility to provide food and air... That's why people want to kill us! They believe our death will bring a new innovation while our unification means destruction... for them anyway... I don't know how and I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but maybe our presence means hope for the balance of our environment."

My hypothesis was maybe too optimistic, but I was in need of this; in need of hope. How could I ever accept that a relationship or a human life could mean destruction? If there really were some higher beings, there's no way they would create something only to be crushed and destroyed.

I looked at Syoran-kun who was deep in thoughts, silently nodding his head. Slowly, he turned his gaze onto me.

"And how us having sex could help with all this?" I guess Syaoran-kun's voice was a bit to clear for our surroundings because the librarian appeared behind our back causing us quite a big surprise.

"This is no place to talk about such things! There are children around here, you know!" We looked around, but the only people we could see were some old ladies reading lovey-dovey novels. They certainly had seen and heard it all, but I blushed anyway; I don't have any problem to talk about sex, but when it concerns me, then I become a bit more ticklish.

"Yes, ma'am. We're sorry." The library's employee left us with her nose held high and a frown behind her stylish glasses. I gazed back at my companion when I heard his quiet laughter.

"What?" His hand reached for a strand of my hair and removed it from my face while approaching his burning eyes from mine.

"Twenty years old and you're still shy about sex?" I frowned and pouted. I escaped the trance his eyes were putting me into.

"I'm not, but this is a personal matter and she surprised me." Syaoran-kun gently grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his gaze.

"Oh really?" His lips were almost touching mine and I could feel his warm breath caressing them. Suddenly, we heard the librarian clearing her throat. Syaoran-kun , slightly laughing, looked back at her while she was scolding at us. So he had acted this way only to make fun of the librarian... quite insulting, really... I used this moment to get back from my "soul mate" and began to put away the books I had used. He gazed back at me.

"What are you doing?" I didn't allow myself to look at him: the danger of being dazzled by him was still too high. The kiss he had wanted to give me had made me uneasy. Of course, I had already been kissed by him, but those were business-kisses. I could barely remember them since I had lost consciousness each time. I doubted they could be called kisses anyway. The point was that I didn't know how I would have reacted if it had really occurred: I didn't know if I was willing to accept him in my heart so rapidly.

"We're done here, so we might as well leave. And I'm hungry." Syaoran-kun sighed, but got up on his feet none the less while I was already a few meters away from him.

"So predictable; always running away when it gets too intense." I abruptly stopped; what did he say?! I rapidly walked back at him, each step heavy.

"How could you know? We just met; you cannot judge me so recklessly." Since I had to keep my voice down, I was hissing every word. He had hit a weak point and I didn't like that.

"It was in the letter I received: you're not the only one who can psychoanalyse, you know." My eyes narrowed and I bit my lower lips.

"And I'm not the one whose bed has been more visited than the Tokyo Tower, therefore, I don't pretend to kiss someone to annoy somebody else." The very second those words escaped my lips, I knew I had gone too far; I was aware that Syaoran-kun wasn't too proud of his life before our meeting and I felt awful for bringing back the subject like this. The moment I saw the pain into his thoughtful eyes, I exited the library and hurtled down the frozen stairs in front of the building. I finished my escape on my rear, in pain and ashamed of myself.

Since the appearance of Syaoran-kun, I had made so many mistakes! How could it be? I wasn't like this before: I knew what to say and when to keep silent. I would always be nice and never hurt anybody... It felt like if I was a zombie, but atleast I wasn't a monster. I buried my face in my gloved hands. Yet now that he was there, it felt more colourful... though colour can mean bad things too...

Few seconds later, a warm and large palm caressed the top of my head. I didn't need to look up to know who it was.

"What happened back inside?"

"You hit the bull's eye, but your prize is not necessarily enjoyable."

"So I've noticed." He kneeled down by my side.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have. And for your information, I didn't sleep with all the women I played with."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not what I want to hear. Tell me what happened back there. Why was your reaction so violent?" I was irritated: why couldn't he just let it go? I said I was sorry, it should have been enough.

"Hormones, okay? I'm a grown woman, if you know what I mean." It wasn't really true since I had finished my period last week, but I just wanted to forget about my outburst; about my lack of control.

"No, it's not okay. I won't buy that. Tell me!" Syaoran-kun wasn't violent, he wasn't harsh; he just wanted to know.

"You were right! I'm afraid, okay? Afraid to let someone in my life, afraid to let him have such a great importance into it! I'm afraid that the moment someone will see the worst in me, he will run away and crush my hopes! And even if I know it's silly and that it won't lead me anywhere, I can't bring myself to open up! And now, I even insult people! Things are getting worse!" He placed his hands on each side of my face, forcing me to show him my teary eyes.

"I understand why you are studying psychology." Tears escaped from my control and began their slide on my cold cheeks, yet Syaoran-kun managed to force a laugh out of me.

"What happened to you? Why are you broken? You used to be so positive and enthusiastic in your other lives." I glanced at him, a sorry smile on my lips.

"I have hypothesises, but I would prefer to keep them for myself, if you don't mind." Syaoran-kun tilted his head to the side.

"I'll give it a shot then: You're mother died when you're were still young and the lost grieved you so much that you preferred to keep a certain distance with people who could have as much importance as her because it would mean another great pain if something was to happen to them. Moreover, you just discovered that people you trust and love have hidden information from you. How close am I from the truth?" I stared at him: was I such an open book? Syaoran-kun smirked.

"My father died, remember? I have seen enough psychologists to know what might be happening in your head. And I know you hate yourself for telling me those words earlier, thus I don't hate you. Plus, you don't have to be afraid to let me get close to you anymore because I already saw the worst in you just now and I'm still here, am I not?" I didn't answer, but I felt soothed by his words. After a moment, I got up (my rear frozen), slightly smiling, and headed towards a nearby cafe.

"Come on grandpa, I'm hungry." Syaoran-kun frowned, but still followed me, his hands in his coat's pockets.

"Grandpa?" I smiled to myself.

"You're too mature for me; you're like an old man" Syaoran-kun lowered his head beside my ear.

"You better be sorry, 'cause I'll show you maturity. Search in a dictionary, it might means something else." Blushing, I playfully pushed him away.

"Yeah, yeah. We're not there yet."

We entered the little cafe.

* * *

After lunch, we called a taxi to take us home, but when we arrived in front of my house, we both realised there was a newcomer: my brother's car was parked in my father's driveway.

We told the taxi driver to stop a bit further from my home so that we could decide what to do.

"Can't you come in? Will my brother recognise you?" He nodded.

"Yes, he will: I have to leave. We cannot be seen together by him. You're brother will want to protect you and that means erasing me from your life." I frowned.

"My brother wouldn't do that, plus we can explain what this mess is all about now..." Syaoran-kun interrupted me.

"It is because you're brother is so great that he'll threaten my life; it doesn't matter what are the reasons of our bond, all he wants is to protect his little sister from dying." The taxi driver cleared his voice making us acknowledge we were still in his car. Syaoran-kun threw a glance at me before turning back his eyes on me.

"Get out. I'll find you back." I bit my lips and opened the door, but half way out, I turned back to him and quickly kissed him on the cheek.

"See ya!" I smiled at him and left him while a smirk was appearing on his lips. It was the first time I had took the lead to show him that I appreciated him. I didn't know if I was being seduced to rapidly or if it was all because we were supposed to be soul mates, but was sure of one thing: Syaoran-kun was a great man, nice, reliable and he had understood me like no other guys had. The "me" scared had slightly disappeared today and that was thanks to him.

* * *

So???

How was it? Don't hit me please, if you don't like it; this chapter was really hard for me to write 'cause I always questioned myself... It took me a lot of time to decide I would publish it like it is right now...

By the way, I'm searching for a new job and I'm beginning university in a week, so I don't how it will all turn out: it's hard to bring my computer at my next potential job or at university. I'll do my best though and you'll have the next chapter next week, there's no doubt about it.

Conclusion: if you don't like this chapter, please tell me: it wasn't your best one. I'll understand lol.

Well, have a nice week-end!

Lune-diamant

(I have to hurry, I'm late, damn!)


	8. Family meeting

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CCS

Hi!

I'm free for the first time since a week (free from work), and it feels great. So great that I almost forgot to publish this chapter, that and I went out with some friends yesterday. I didn't got drunk, but I'm just really tired.

Anyway, so I'm almost done with the next chapter... though I have a little problem with something...the way I say thing or something... anyway, that's not your problem.

Well, have fun reading this chapter ( I hope )! I really like it, so I hope you will too.

R&R

* * *

**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter eight: Family meeting

Current era: Japan

I opened the front door of my house on an infuriated Touya. I could see a vein pulsing on his forehead with each heartbeat. I smiled at him as if there was nothing wrong.

"Hey! Touya! It's nice of you to come pay us a visit for Christmas!" I removed my coat and my boots without paying attention to the scold he was giving me.

"You invited a man over here and you let him stay in my room! A man I never met!" _Dad, did you want to have only a son?_

"Would you have preferred him to stay in mine?" Touya was furious and here I was playing with him; I was certainly suicidal...

"Who is he, Sakura?" No matter how calm I seemed, I was screaming from the inside; what could I say? Would Touya recognise Syaoran-kun's name? Finally, I came with an idea.

"Why does it matter? He's gay anyway. You would have liked him." My brother's mouth opened wide before suddenly closing down. He was still suspicious and I could see he didn't really believe me, but at this moment, the phone began to ring: saved by the bell. I immediately went to answer to escape from my brother's inquisitive eyes.

While walking to reach the phone, I saw my father in the living room already up on his feet to answer, but I motioned him to let it go. He mouthed to me: "Gay?"

I half smiled and answered him by a "Work with me!" After all, it was his fault if my brother was freaking out... then again, he would have eventually found out because Syaoran-kun's clothes were still in his room.

I picked up the phone and greeted the person; however, no one answered me. Few seconds later, the call was over. I looked at my father, puzzled.

"Is there a problem?" I shook my head.

"No, I guess the person made a mistake, but it's rather rude to hang up without excusing yourself. Anyway." I was leaving the living room to head to mine, but my father suddenly realised someone was missing.

"Sakura, where's your friend?" I bit my lips: a lie, fast, a lie!

"He had an emergency; one of his friends in Tokyo got injured so he went to check on him at the hospital. He thanks you and he's sorry he couldn't tell you goodbye." It was a really poor lie, but it certainly was enough.

"He couldn't even come and take his clothes?" I smiled, but inside, I was frowning with uneasiness.

"He had to hurry to be able to get on the next train. I'll bring back his clothes to him when I'll come back to Tokyo." My father nodded, still unconvinced; lying never was one of my best abilities...

I spent the rest of the day trying to convince my brother there was nothing suspicious in my life and I have to say that I was awfully... bad at it. Still, since Touya couldn't provide evidence about Syaoran-kun's appearance as my soul mate, that and the fact that Touya didn't want to tell me the real reasons of his furry, he finally dropped the subject at dinner... well, dad helped since he was feeling sorry for me.

At eight, I was already on my bed, drawing. However, I was interrupted by my cellular's ringtone.

"Moshi, moshi, Kinomoto Sakura's speaking."

"Hey! It's me." I instantly recognise the voice.

"Syaoran-kun! How did you get my phone number?" He chuckled.

"You would be very bad if you were on the run: Your phone was on the coffee table of your living room. All I had to do was to take in note your number. By the way, a pink phone screams your name: not discrete." I giggled.

"Is this the reason why you called or do you have another purpose?"

"Just making sure you were okay. Over the centuries, I have learned that your brother is really overprotective."

"Yeah, but he does have an excuse. Where are you?" He sighed: Syaoran-kun sounded extremely exhausted.

"I won't tell you this over the phone." I wished he had answered, but I understood his refusal to speak.

"Can you atleast tell me your phone number so that I can call you?" Again, he refused.

"I have to buy a new phone anyway; I'll give you its number when I'll see you." I bit my lips and nodded; I felt sorry for him who needed to stay hidden...

"Hey! Will you be alone for Christmas?" I regretted my voice was showing so much sadness when I told him those words.

"Don't be like this; I'm alright. Christmas is only a day like any other." I nodded, but I still wished I could have invited him to stay with my family, but with Touya here, he could definitely not come over... not that I didn't want my brother to be there either; my situation really was complicated.

"I'll call you, okay?"I nodded.

"Be careful, Syaoran-kun." He chuckled.

"I should be the one saying that. See you!" And he hung up. I didn't know when I would see him again and I knew I was going to miss him; he was fun to hang around even if he liked to tease me. However, he had told he was going to call me back and I had no doubt he would do so, though I didn't know when: And I wished he had told me because it could have helped to suppress my paranoia...

* * *

We were already December 26th and I had received no life's sign from Syaoran-kun; I was beginning to be edgy and feel anxious. Was his silence normal? Have he faced some problems? Couldn't he atleast send me a text message?

At ten in the morning, the house's phone began to ring; I knew it wasn't him, but I still had some hope it was. I answered and I saw my brother coming towards me to know who was calling us.

"Moshi moshi, Kinomoto family." The voice who was replying to me was certainly not Syaoran-kun's; it was old and deep.

"Am I speaking to the young Sakura-chan?" I wondered who was this man who had use "-chan"; the voice really didn't remind me of anyone.

"Yes, you are. May I ask who am I speaking to?"

"I'm your mother's father. I know I have no right to call after so many years of absence, but I'm an old man and I had hopes to see my granddaughter even if my daughter didn't want me to." My grandfather was talking clearly, but somehow, his words couldn't process to my brain: Mother didn't want me to meet with my grandparents? I thought they were the ones who didn't want to have any contact with their daughter...

"What about my brother?"

"I made the offer a few years ago, but he declined it... Of course, he is very welcomed to join." I took a moment to think about his offer; since my mother died, I had been wondering about her family and her life before father. He did try to tell me what he knew, but it wasn't much. I looked at Touya who had a puzzled look.

"Alright, I'll come. Please wait a moment, I'll ask my brother about your proposition." I turned towards Touya and asked him if he wanted to go to our grandfather's place. For a moment, he looked horrified.

"No I won't and neither are you!" I covered the phone with my palms to block Touya's voice.

"I already said yes, I can't go back on my words now." He grumbled and growled; he was pissed!

"Fine, there's no way I'm letting you go there all by yourself." I freed a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"We will be there. When do you wish to see us?"

"Marvellous! I'll send a car to get you; it will be there in twenty minutes. I'll wait for you!" And my grandfather hung up. I stared at my brother and the look in his eyes was frightening me; why was Touya so against the idea to meet our mother's father? The fact that he had organised everything without asking us if it was alright with us was a bit disconcerted, but it didn't really matter since we were the day after Christmas and we were free to do what we pleased.

I went to my room to make sure I was suitable for such a meeting and took the necklace I had found in my jewellery box while cleaning my room. I had bought it when I was fourteen years old when I had begun to dream about my first life's end. It was a long amber gem attached to a silver chain. Normally, it was a man's necklace, but I had not been able to restrain myself: the radiance recalled me Xiao Lang's eyes, so I had bought it.

After Syaoran-kun's call, I had decided to offer him the necklace as a late Christmas's present (since the shops were closed) ; I was extremely uneasy with Syaoran-kun being alone for such a sweet day. However, even if the jewellery was meant for my friend to wear, I felt like if I was going to need it.

When I got downstairs, Touya had finished explaining the situation to our father. He wasn't against the idea, but he was a bit surprised by the sudden call... maybe even a bit worried.

"I don't mind you two going to see your grandfather; I just don't know what he will tell you. If he forgave Nadeishiko, then everything is alright, but if not... Just remember that your mother was a wonderful woman and loved you very much. If she harmed her father by running away with me, she was deeply sorry for it, but she wanted, her and her children, to live freely. She grew up into a golden cage... no wonder her father wasn't happy to see her leave with a poor teacher." He smiled with nostalgia and patted my hair. He had loved my mother very much and had never tried to find someone else.

"But today, forget this entire story; be nice to him. Every man has the right to repent." I nodded, but my brother stayed silent, a stern look glued to his face.

The car arrived, as my grandfather had said, twenty minutes after the call. Touya and I entered the black car without a word while the chauffeur was keeping the door open. I immediately noticed the luxury of the engine: black leather seat, roaring motor, high quality of wood to decorate the dashboard... and of course the chauffeur in uniform! I knew my mother's family had money, but not that much! I stared at Touya; he didn't even seem surprised to see all this and was motionless, as if he was extremely calm and serene about the meeting, but I knew better than to buy this... His hand were opening and tightly closing until his knuckles were white with rhythm: I didn't like that one bit... maybe I had made a mistake. I took the amber gem between my fingers and played with it while chewing unconsciously my lower lips.

We arrived at a mansion surrounded by a furnished forest another twenty minutes later and it was gorgeous! The scene before my eyes of the white huge house encircled by the snow and the healthy, even if leafless, trees was so delicate and beautiful that it made me want to paint it.

After getting out of the car, Touya and I entered the mansion through the front door. As presumed, the hall was sumptuous. A butler came to us and took our coats before leading us to a beautifully furnished lounge where was sitting a man with white hair and beard, strong features and high class suit; I presumed it was my grandfather. I had understood over the phone his health wasn't as good as he wished, but maybe I had misunderstood because he was looking rather healthy to me. My brother and I bowed to him while he got up motioning us to sit down on the couch in front of him, our back towards a huge window.

"Such a pleasure to finally see you, my grandchildren. Touya-san, I'm glad you accepted my invitation this time."

"The pleasure is all mines." As if! He was as stiff as a stick! We sat down, as our grandfather had proposed to us.

"Nadeishiko gave birth to beautiful children! She, herself, was a beauty, so it is not really a huge surprise. I am so sorry my deceased wife couldn't see you before her death." I slightly frowned.

"Why didn't you call us then? It is no reproach, I am just curious." My grandfather laid his intense green eyes on me and sadly smiled.

"Your mother didn't want me to do so. I'm sorry." I nodded and silence crept into the room. Then, my mother's father cleared his voice and tried to start a conversation.

"So, tell me my children: what is going on in your life? What are you studying or what is your job?" Touya began his story, his voice always on the same note, as if he was a robot and then, it was my turn. Of course, I didn't talk about Syaoran-kun's but I told almost everything. Our grandfather was a great listener, but no matter what Touya or I would tell him, he wouldn't even seem surprised... as if he already knew everything; I began to play with my necklace again.

"What lovely lives you are both building! I'd like very much to be a part of it..." A butler silently entered the room and announced to him someone had arrived. My grandfather demanded for him to come.

"I'd like to offer you a present Sakura-chan to show how glad I am you're both here... Welcome Yato-san!" A well-mannered and dressed stranger entered the room and bowed to us.

"Sakura-chan, I'd like you to meet Hatsui Yato. He's my sister's grandson. He has all the quality to become the head of our family once I'll have to retire and this moment will soon come. However, he lacks a wife." My heart skipped a beat and I saw Touya's hand closing into tight fists.

"You assured me there was no one in your life, Sakura-chan, and I want to prove you how much you mean to me even if I didn't approve your mother's wedding. Yato-san is a wonderful and caring man as well as a talented businessman. You couldn't dream of any better husband. Now, I'm sorry, Touya-san, I can't do you the same favour, but I understood you already had someone in your life." I was speechless: I was meeting my grandfather for the first and he was already arranging a marriage with a nephew! My brother was as pleased as I was.

"You have no right to force her into marriage. She's still out of his grasp." I immediately looked at my brother. _His grasp_?! Was he talking about Syaoran-kun? My grandfather was part of this story too?!

"I think not. I'm sorry, but you failed as a guardian and I'm being much more human than you believe I am by offering her to the best man of this family. Would you rather let destiny have her?" Our grandfather was calmly smiling, however no one could fail to notice the threat behind those last words. I nervously tugged on my necklace, my eyes wondering to room's corner to another to acknowledge the options I still had: one door, one window. Would my brother help me? I knew what he was thinking: He was not enchanted by the idea of the wedding, but it was still better than seeing me being killed.

What were my options? Answer: Play dumb.

I slowly got on my feet and politely bowed to my grandfather.

"I'm not sure I understand everything, but I'll have to decline the offer. I'm awfully sorry, but my heart is set on a friend named Yuushi-san. We're not lover, but I'd like to see if this love can lead me somewhere." My grandfather's smile widened while he joined his hands together.

"The Yuushi-san you're talking about gave up on you weeks ago. In fact, he has moved on another woman. You might not know about her, but you are perfectly aware of his decision to do not try to have you in his life." A typhoon was raging in my chest while my legs and arms were shaking like a leaf; I tried to hide it. I lowered my head, turned my back on them and calmly walked to the huge window. While doing so, my brain was analysing the situation.

Option number one: marry the guy. Option number two: die by their hands. I didn't like much the second option, so I took few seconds to think about the first one: would I be able to kiss goodbye my freedom? Would I be able to give myself to this stranger I knew nothing about even if he was quite handsome and successful? I was not able to accept the hypothesis of my life being controlled by Kami-sama, why would I accept my life to be controlled by my mother's family? Which leaded me to the third option: commit suicide... atleast I could choose how to die, yet, the ending was the same as the one of the second option and I was much too young to give up on living.

Did I have an other option? Yes, but it had much less chance to succeed: try to escape. Was I able to do so now? Maybe... I didn't know what they would do of me after this meeting.

Once in front of the window, I turned towards them and sadly gazed at my brother.

"I'm sorry, Touya. I had the right to choose and I chose to listen to my heart. I love you very much and you are a great brother, but I guess that now, everything has been decided." While talking, I took the head of a two feet high statue on a low table in front of the window and behind me. Then, I quickly turned around and swung the iron piece of art through the window, crashing it into pieces. The cold wind rushed into the warm room, roaring like a wild tiger and freezing its visitors.

Before the men could gain back their abilities, I stepped onto the table and jumped outside into the snow. I felt glass shards digging into my flesh since I had no shoes, but luckily, the ground was too covered with snow, therefore too soft to cause too much damage and forbid me to flee.

The moment my feet touched the frozen ground, I ran; ran as fast as I could, ran as far as I could. For a brief moment, I looked over my shoulder when I heard shouts coming from the room I had been into a minute ago. Under the window were blood stains which meant I would be fairly easy to follow, but I still didn't stop. It was too late to do so and if I was going to be caught, I might as well give them a hard time.

All I had on me was my purse, which I always keep with me, and my clothes; a cozy sweater and a pair of black pants... Not much. Plus, even if I had my cell phone, there was no one I could call: my pursuers would assume I would call my father and I had no idea how to contact Syaoran-kun. I ran none the less: It was all I could do.

After only ten minutes of escaping, my lungs were feeling like exploding and my feet were numb and painful. I was cold and my throat was burning. It had taken them some time to organise the hunt, but the group of pursuers seemed like closing the distance between us quite efficiently; I could hear the dogs barking.

At last, I arrived in front of the iron fence encircling the domain of my grandfather. It wasn't too hard for me, thanks to my ability in gymnastic, to climb over it, yet the metal was so cold it burnt the palms of my hands.

Even if there was a fence between them and me, I still continued to run, but my legs were stiff and I felt like fainting. Finally, I reached the main road, but still stayed under the cover of the trees; a silver car was coming full speed towards me. Was it my grandfather's minion? It abruptly stopped right beside the hole I was hiding into, the tires screeching noisily. The driver's door violently opened and the tall man exited from the car...

Syaoran-kun! I wanted to scream his name, but my voice was gone leaving only the shadow of what it used to be. I wanted to get up on my feet, but my legs wouldn't obey me anymore. I wanted to cry, but my tears were frozen.

I vaguely saw him walking towards my hidden place with a beeping object in his hand. With no hesitation, he stepped into the snowbank lining the road and reached my motionless body. Syaoran-kun ragingly cursed and took me into his warm arms; his touch was like flames licking my flesh... I knew warmth was necessary, but it was so painful that I wished I had stayed in the cold.

Quickly, he opened his car's door and installed me into his passenger's seat. I saw him running to gain back his and hurriedly start his engine. The motor roaring, we violently took off, the car wolfing down the road.

* * *

Okay, so I hope you liked it. I like the next one too (well, what's written so far), so yeah... I don't have much to say today.

By the way, I'm beginning my second year of university next week, so you'll certainly have it, but after that... well, I'll do my best to update every week.

Have fun!

Lune-diamant


	9. Escape

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CCS.

Hey there! Okay, so I finished this chapter yesterday night and I just correct it. Hum... I'm tired, I'm down, but for once, I think I can be proud of my work... beside maybe the end... nah, it's alright. I like this chapter.

Okay, so I'll let you read and stop my blabla: I'm such a big mouth.

Have fun! R & R

****

* * *

**Destiny against Choice**

chapter nine: Escape

Japan, current era

While driving like a mad man, Syaoran-kun turned up the heat to its maximum to gradually warm my cold body, but with my soaking wet clothes on, it was almost useless.

"We have to go to the hospital! Where is it? Sakura-chan, where is it? Don't you dare to fall asleep!" My eyelids were heavy, but my brain was still working and I was able to process his question, but the hospital was a really bad idea: they would call my father, there would be questions and my grandfather would have no problem to find me there. Moreover, I certainly didn't have the strength to tempt another escape. Violently, painfully, I shook my head. Lips trembling and tongue untamed, I managed to say two words: "Not. Hospital."

Syaoran-kun cursed once again. He knew what I was thinking; I knew he felt helpless.

"Sakura-chan, can you move? I know it hurts, but can you move?" I nodded.

"I'm no doctor and I can't accomplish miracles, therefore, you're going to remove your socks. There's no doubt your feet are the most frozen parts of your body and I don't want them to be cut off, neither do you, I am sure. Remove your socks to let the warmth heal them."I began to move my chest forward to bend down, but the moment I did, thousands of needles attacked my arms and my abdomen; tears escaped from my eyes. While removing his coat, Syaoran-kun tried to soothe me.

"I know it hurts, but continue. You have to. I can't stop the car now, we're not there yet! Come on!" I did what I was told, tears still flowing. Finally, I managed to remove my socks. Syaoran-kun saw the blood stains on them and cursed one more time. Then, he managed to put his warm coat on my feet while driving. It hurt so much that I wanted to scream, but my lungs wouldn't allow me to do so; I had no more energy. I leaned back on the seat; I wanted so much to close my eyes and sleep, but Syaoran-kun wouldn't let me.

Finally, we arrived into town and he was forced to slow down. I didn't know where we were going, but there was not much I could do about it; I was lifeless. I was positive Syaoran-kun wouldn't go to my father's place since it would be too easy for my grandfather to find me and I knew there was no hotel in Tomoeda so where was Syaoran-kun heading to.

A few minutes later, we arrived to a huge building and my friend drove to an underground driveway which was rare in small towns. Once the car parked, Syaoran-kun quickly got out of his seat and ran to my side. He took me in his arms and ran to an elevator. Still not letting me drift to sleep, Syaoran-kun was constantly shaking me while waiting to reach his floor. The door opened after he introduced a key into a hole next to the elevator's board. Once outside, I barely noticed we had not entered into a building's corridor, but into a large and apartment.

My friend gently put me down on his couch, left me there for a moment and then came back to undress me. I was feeling like a doll except that every muscle was awfully stiff and painful. One piece of clothing after another, Syaoran-kun removed the last barrier between my flesh and the warm and hurtful air leaving only my underwear on. While doing so, he was anxiously talking to himself.

"Remove the cold clothes to warm the whole body. Never rub the frozen arms and legs or the cold blood will reach the heart and stop it. Never let the person fall asleep; the victim must stay awake." While repeating those words again and again, Syaoran-kun was constantly looking over the couch and petting my head.

Then, he hurriedly took me once again in his arms and brought me somewhere else in the apartment: the bathroom. Hot steam was biting my still horridly cold skin. Suddenly, Syaoran-kun carefully, but quickly dropped me into a bathtub filled with hot water: I couldn't take it anymore. My skin couldn't take it. My muscles couldn't take it.... My heart couldn't either.

I screamed; screamed like if I was stabbed, screamed like if was dying. I tried to get out of the hot water, but Syaoran-kun was firmly maintaining my body into the water repeating over and over again it was only warm. I was feeling like if iron claws were ripping my flesh open, like if fangs were piercing my skin, like if my chest was being crushed. I cried. And cried.

After a moment, I stopped to fight and scream. The water was still burning my skin, but I had no more energy left. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. Syaoran-kun freed me, but still stayed by my side caressing my head. I don't know how much time we remained like this, but after a while, the water became more comfortable and I was able to move with a bit less pain.

"Sakura-chan, how are you feeling?" My throat still burning, I managed to tell him I was thirsty. Syaoran-kun immediately got up and went to get me water. I wolfed it down with his help.

"Thanks." He didn't answer, but checked my feet and hands.

"Can you feel them? They gained back their normal colour." I nodded.

"Pain... is a feeling... right? Then yes, I do." My friend sighed in relief.

"Can I... get out of... the bathtub, please?" He frowned.

"Show me you can move." I slightly raised my arms and legs, gritting my teeth to keep a complaint shut. Without a word, he took me out of the bathtub and managed to wrap me into a thick fluffy towel. Then, he brought me back to the couch and asked me to lie down on my back and stay still. Syaoran-kun took my legs and put my feet on the arm of the couch. Afterwards, he left and came back few seconds later with a bottle of antiseptic, a flashlight, some bandages and a piece of clean cloth.

I stared at him, fed up of the pain I had been going through and I was still going to go through.

"I'm sorry, but I have to clean your wounds. It will hurt a little." I growled. One foot at a time, Syaoran-kun took my ankle with one hand and disinfected my wounds with the alcohol. It hurt a lot, but it wasn't as bad as being frozen to death so I stayed still and gritted my teeth. Then, he took the flashlight and turned it on to look more closely at my feet.

"This foot is alright, there's nothing in the wounds... On what did you step?"

"Glass shards." He looked at me, obviously unpleased.

"Okay... I have to look closer then... shit! You have a small shard in your right foot; I have to extract it..." Frowning, he went to his kitchen and came back with a knife. I panicked.

"Woah! Put that down Rambo! I have a tweezers in my purse. Where did you put it?" Looking around me, I found it on the coffee table with my wet clothes near the couch. I took it and searched for the tweezers; there was no way I was going to have a knife in my foot! I handed him the tool. Silently, Syaoran-kun grabbed it and prepared himself.

"Ready?" I glared at him. Did I really have the choice?

After removing the shard, my saviour bandaged my feet and left once again. He came back with a large warm shirt and big cotton pants.

"Can you put it on?" I nodded. He turned around and headed towards the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. Once I was dressed up, I sat up and tried to see what he was doing. I heard the microwave and he came back with a hot bowl of noodles soup.

"Eat." I raised an eyebrow.

"You made this?" He nodded, handed me the bowl and quitted the room once again. He came back with new clothes; the one he had before had been a bit drenched with water. He sat down by my side and enveloped me into a thick blanket.

"Eat up." I pouted.

"It's rude to eat alone." He stared at me, surprised, and slightly smiled.

"Alright." He headed to the kitchen and took a bowl of soup too. After sitting back down on the couch, he gazed at me.

"Happy?" I nodded. We ate in silence, listening to the clock's ticking. Discretely, I peeked at Syaoran-kun; he was trying to hide he was furious. Finished with the soup, I put the bowl down on the coffee table.

"If you have something to say, say it." He glanced back at me, frowning and clearly not understanding what I was saying.

"What are you t..." I stopped him.

"I know you're mad at me for being so reckless, but I had no way to join you and..."

"Wait a minute! I'm not mad at you! I'm furious I didn't take you with me. I could have prevented this from happening!" I stared at him, puzzled for a moment, and then I sighed with fatigue.

"Don't do that; no one could have guessed what was going to happen. It's nobody's fault. And you came for me... How did you know I was there? How did you know I was going to need your help?" Syaoran-kun avoided my eyes.

"I placed a tracking device on your cell when I took in note your phone number. When I saw where you were, I immediately left; the letter I had received in China mentioned this place as your grandfather's house. Your mother's family never brought great news for us." I stayed silent for a moment, but then I tiredly laughed.

"Who could have guessed I would be happy to be tracked down?" I closed my eyes and rest my head on the couch's back.

"This apartment is...?"

"Mine." I turned my head towards him.

"When did you buy it?!"

"The day I left you; December 23rd." I straightened up.

"How did you do it on such a short notice?! And during Christmas Holidays!" He smirked.

"Everyone has its price." I thought a bit about what he had just said and I have to admit it was true. Everyone values something so much that he would do anything to have it; it could be money, an object or even a person.

Suddenly, Syaoran-kun got off the couch and took me, again, into his arms. I didn't fight him off, but I was curious of what he was doing.

"Would you be kind enough to tell why you're doing this?" He headed towards the bedroom.

"You need to sleep. You're exhausted."

"My muscles are fine now. I can walk." He smirked.

"Really? Have you already forgotten your feet are in no condition to support your weight?" I bit my lower lips and began to play with the amber gem pendant I still had on. For how much time would I need him to carry me? It was a bit embarrassing. Into the bedroom, I finally realised what I was playing with so I quickly removed it from my neck and placed it on Syaoran-kun.

"What is it?" I smiled.

"Nothing fancy. It's just a late Christmas gift. I never thought I would give it to you this way, but I guess I can't ask for a more appropriate time." Syaoran-kun smirked while gently putting me on the king bed, but once I was on the mattress, he did get back; his hands stayed on the bed, on each side of my body. I was half sitting and his face was awfully close to mine.

"And how were you intending to give it to me?" For the first time this day, I was really getting hot.

"Don't get too excited; I was only talking about the current horrid situation!" The smile he offered me at that moment made my heart stopped for a brief second. It was so pure and honest; it didn't make him handsome, it made him true, it made me special.

"I know." Syaoran-kun kissed my forehead and began to get away from me. However, I instantly grabbed the pendant I had just given him and stopped him from doing so.

"Where are you going?" He cocked his head to the side and smiled.

"I'll be nearby, in the living room." I bit my lower lips.

"You're tired too." I really hoped he was going to decipher the message I didn't want to say aloud. He smirked.

"Roger that." Syaoran-kun got on the bed and rested his head on the pillow next to mine. Closing my eyes, I laid on my side to face him; I didn't need to see his face... I knew he was smirking and I definitely didn't want to feel even more embarrassed. However, I needed his presence; I needed someone I knew I could rely on by my side.

Keeping my eyes tightly shut, I cuddled up to his broad chest. I heard him chuckling, but I didn't dare to look. Gently, Syaoran-kun wrapped his arms around me and he hushed into my ear: "Now go to sleep." Surprisingly, I didn't get any problem to do so.

* * *

I woke up feeling numb and sore, but had I really woken up; darkness was surrounding me and mist had wrapped its arms around me. Moreover, the air was so dense and hot! Had I not fallen asleep in Syaoran-kun's bed? Where was I? Why couldn't I move a muscle? Why wasn't there someone to respond to my voice echoing into the dark? So many questions were spinning around and making me feel awfully dizzy.

Suddenly, my surroundings came into focus; sleeping cars, yellowish light, no windows... I was in an underground parking; I could even see the one my friend and I had used to go to his apartment. Syaoran-kun was by my side, standing tall and proud. There was someone else... but I couldn't see who it was; my vision far too blurry to allow me to organise the facial features of the stranger in front of us.

Slowly, he raised an arm and attached to it, a gun. My blood ran cold into my burning veins and my heart stopped. Somehow, I knew the threat was not against me; Syaoran-kun was the only victim there would be. I tried to place myself in front of my friend, but my body wouldn't listen to me, as if I could only watch.

The gun spitted its deadly fireworks and angst accompanied by a deafening detonation; slowly, I saw Syaoran-kun fall backwards, hit straight into his right lung. A scream escaped by lips, unpleasant and savage even to my ears. Syaoran-kun! Syaoran-kun was dead! Tears slipping out of my control, my vision became even more incoherent and everything vanished from my sight. Darkness welcomed me once again while I was screaming one last time the name I had grown to like.

"Syaoran-kun!!!"

* * *

I woke up into Syaoran-kun warm bedroom screaming his name and struggling into his arms. My friend was desperately trying to calm me down, but I didn't want to listen. I knew I had dreamt and I knew my dreams never were meaningless. Syaoran-kun was going to be killed; we had to leave with no delay.

I freed myself from the tight embrace of my friend and managed to put a foot on the floor. As soon as it touched the ground, a sharp pain ran through my entire body and my muscles protested against my attempt to quit the bed. I immediately crumbled to the floor, groaning in pain.

Syaoran-kun hurriedly came to my side and installed me on his bed once again; I stroke my cheeks with a hand to erase the flowing tears I had been releasing since I was up.

I tried once again to stand up, but my friend forced me to give up; he was too strong, I didn't stand a chance against him, but panic was thundering into my chest and the more I had to wait for our escape, the more I felt sick and dizzy. Syaoran-kun touched my forehead with his soft palm and sighed.

"You have a fever; no surprise there, I could have foretold it. You must rest. I know you're disoriented, but you only need to sleep." I violently denied it.

"No, we need to get away from here! Someone is coming to kill you; I saw it in my dream! We have to leave! Now! Before it's too late!" Syaoran-kun used his strength to make me lie down once again. He rested his lips on my burning forehead.

" It was a nightmare caused by the fever and the events of the day. Don't worry. We're safe here." I tried to protest once more, but my head was far too heavy. I felt like puking and my body had become a useless corpse. My eyelids closed down without my consent. A bit later, I felt a cold clothe being put on my forehead and warm arms enveloping me once again. There was no way to leave now. There was no way to escape the fatigue that had taken control over my body and mind. I fell asleep...

* * *

When my eyes opened once again, it was already dawn. The sky was still dark blue, but a grey atmosphere was floating in the street announcing the arrival of the sun. I was still awfully tired, but the memory of the night was forbidding me to fall back asleep. I managed to get into a sitting position, but my head was still spinning. Syaoran-kun was not by my side and his absence made me extremely uneasy, therefore, I decided to force my body to obey to my command and get out of bed.

In my blurred mind, I had totally forgotten my foot was injured and swollen; I instantly lost my concentration and my balance when my wounded foot touched the floor and the rushing pain electrocuted my whole body. A gasp escaped my throat while I managed to fall onto the bed instead of the floor. I never was someone who would curse easily, but this time, I couldn't restrain myself; I felt like crap. My foot was useless and my muscles were pleading me to stop all movement.

Few minutes later, Syaoran-kun entered the room and I immediately tried once again to tell him what I had begun the previous night.

"We have to..." He instantly finished the sentence in my place.

"To leave, I know. You forgot to close your cell and I didn't think about checking it out before this morning. Your brother is the accountant of a cell company; it might not be a good thing for us right now. The bags are already in the car, I brought some food down there for your breakfast too." I wanted to ask how he knew about my brother's job, but I quickly remembered the mysterious envelope Syaoran-kun had received in China.

He came to me, took my temperature with his hand and grimaced.

"It's still really hot. I'm not sure it's a good..." I stopped his babbling.

"I'll survive a car ride. Let's leave now." He nodded and took me into his arms after putting his coat on my shoulders.

Syaoran-kun immediately headed towards the elevator doors.

"My purse?"

"It's already in the car... except your cell. I'll buy you a new one, but this one has to vanish." I nodded, understanding. I already knew all the important numbers anyway.

While the elevator was descending towards the parking, fear was slowly growing into my heart. My nightmare was still a menacing shadow over Syaoran-kun's head. I looked at his serious face; he wasn't showing it, but I knew he was nervous.

We slalomed through the different cars, surveying our surrounding and finally arrived beside our automobile. Only a meter away, Syaoran-kun stopped. At first, I didn't dare to look at anything else, but his handsome face, but then, I saw anxiousness, seriousness and angst deforming the harmony of his features. I finally found the courage to follow his gaze. A shadow was standing three meters away from us. He wasn't blocking our way to the car, but I knew the state I was in was an obstacle to a quick escape.

The shadow took a step forward into the light of yellow neon and I intensely eyed his right hand. Darkness erased itself to reveal the gun I had seen in my dream; so it was now. My eyes quitted the gun to head towards the face of the soon-to-be murderer. My breath caught into my throat and my heart ached: Touya!

My own brother had come to kill an innocent person.

* * *

Okay, so this time, I was able to finish in time, but I don't know about next week. I have some reading to do for my classes, but I'll be working all week-end long, so I'll do it then, and I'll try to get some writing done. No promises, but I'll do my best.

Well, I'm tired and I have to wake up early tomorrow morning so think about me and tell me what you thought of this chapter!

Have a nice week-end!!

Lune-diamant


	10. Gangsters' past

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CCS.

Okay, so here's the chapter ten... I really had some problem to write it (the end not the beginning). I don't know if the next chapter will be as hard as this one. I can't really explain why it is so hard to write either... I'm just saying this to let go some steam...

Well, it is late so I won't talk much more....

R&R (Yup, I really have nothing to say...)

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* * *

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter ten: Gangsters' past

Current era: Japan

Touya was silent, his gun pointed to the floor; he was showing no threat, but I knew him better than anyone. His stern look was sweating strength and confidence; at this fatidic moment, he had control over his enemy.

Syaoran-kun was as still as a rock; he wasn't foolish enough to try to escape from a gunman. Cuddled into his arms, I was looking at my brother hopelessly. Would he believe what we had discovered, Syaoran-kun and I, if I was to tell him? Would he let us go? Glancing at my brother, I noticed his eyes; there was really little chance to succeed. For Touya, Syaoran-kun was endangering my life and it was the worst crime according to his own social code. Dizzy, I tried to stock some common sense in his stubborn head.

"Touya listen to..." He interrupted me and pointed the car.

"Let her sit on the hood of your car." He was obviously talking to Syaoran-kun. As ordered, my friend began to walk towards the pointed area. Astonished by his stupidity, I tightly griped his shirt; was he crazy? In his arms, Touya would never have the guts to shoot, but once I was gone, Syaoran-kun would be an easy target! He bent down to put me in a sitting position on the car; I didn't let go.

Weakly smiling to me, Syaoran-kun took my hands in his and freed his shirt. He quickly kissed them and began to get away from me. I held on his hands for as long as I could, but it finally escaped from my grasp. I felt like crying and I was as sick as a dog. Sweat was covering my whole body and fog was messing up my vision.

I knew what was going to happen and yet, I could accept it; maybe if I could make Touya talk, I would think of a way to get free of this hellish situation. Touya pointed his gun towards Syaoran-kun.

"Kinomoto Touya! What do you think you are doing?! That's what you want to be for me? A murderer!" My brother looked at me.

"I might become a murderer, but atleast, you'll be alive: He'll put you to death, Sakura! Why can you never understand this?" Syaoran-kun was facing Touya, showing no fear and seeming almost amused by the situation. Was he suicidal?

"Doesn't this situation bring memories back? Can you recall it...even though something is missing? New York city, 1929. Those were the days of gangsters. You looked good with a hat, Kinomoto-san." Touya eyed back Syaoran-kun, pitiless.

"And like back then, you are at my mercy. I killed you then and don't believe I won't do so once again." My friend cocked his head to the side.

"And how did this murder work out for your sister?" My brother stayed silent; I guessed it had not gone as he had expected. I saw this as a good occasion to convince him to drop his murderous plan.

"Why do you think we always come back to life, Touya? To be killed once again? I think not! There must be something!"

"Yes, humanity destruction; a lot of powerful people who knows the truth would want to see you two dead, but only one needs to die and this person won't be you!" Syaoran-kun shook his head.

"That won't change a thing; we'll always come back because we need to be together. Do your researches: you might find that we're not really the ones who are destroying something. This planet is sick because of humans' inventions. Humanity will die one day or another anyway because it won't support this cancer for much longer." My brother frowned.

"I think you misunderstood me; I don't care about this whole mess. All I want is my sister to be safe." His grip on the gun tightened and my heart began to run faster. Suddenly, I violent nausea attacked my stomach and I had to bend over the hood of the car in case I had to puke. I heard Touya forbidding Syaoran-kun to approach me while I saw him took a step towards me.

Doing my best to breathe calmly, I straightened up and vehemently looked at my brother.

"Don't come near me." Touya's eyes filled with sadness. He was my brother and it pained me to be so harsh with him, but I was just so angry! Yes, he was only thinking about me, about my happiness, but there was no way I could accept his philosophy; to him, I was one of the most important people of the world, but it didn't mean my life was worth killing for. He wanted to kill Syaoran-kun to protect me, but what is a life if all you can feel is remorse and sadness?

Suddenly, a voice echoed into the parking lot. Startling my brother, he tried to find the source.

"Always stuck in a mess; Some things never change, don't you think Syaoran?" I recognised the silhouette that was appearing into the dim light: Li Meiling. The newcomer attracted Touya's attention leaving me enough time to do something awfully painful: I quickly got down of the car and reached Syaoran-kun. When Touya realised what I had done, it was already too late: I had my hands strongly holding onto his enemy's shirt. My legs were weak and I was doing my best to do not slump to the floor of vomit. A hammer was massacring my brain and Syaoran-kun was telling me how reckless and stupid I was. He wrapped my body with his arms none the less to prevent me from falling.

I saw Touya opening his mouth to protest, but he immediately shut it when he glanced at Li-san. I was facing him while Syaoran-kun's back was towards his cousin. My brother knew I was safer behind Syaoran-kun's shield if Li-san was nearby. He could shoot his target, but the Chinese woman couldn't reach me either. I heard a trigger being toyed with.

"Syaoran, move over." My friend laughed.

"Quite impressing Meiling! How did you find me? I know Kinomoto-san used his connections into the cell company he works for, but what about you." I heard Li-san giggled.

"You have always been so curious! You've been reckless this time, Syaoran. It was no big deal to find where daddy's girl would go to during her holidays. I made some researches and easily found where her father is living. When I learnt her brother was there too, I immediately knew you were going to pull some strings to find yourself a nice apartment." Syaoran-kun sighed.

"I managed to stay out of any report though."

"Oh, I couldn't find under what false name you bought it or anything, but I knew you would be only one to rent an apartment in such a short period of time. They have to note if an apartment is free or not, so I just needed to know which apartment had been taken during those days." Syaoran-kun's grip tightened.

"I'll have to be more careful; I have become too predictable." My brother who had been silent and still since Li-san arrival seemed to wake up from his surprise.

"You won't have to do anything because you'll be gone." His gun was aiming for Syaoran-kun's head. My friend looked at my brother.

"You know you might hurt your sister. You have little experience with guns; I'm even surprised you managed to get one. You have no intention to hurt her and Meiling has no will to kill me. However, she's ready to shoot on Sakura-chan as you are ready to murder me to save her life: Dead end. So here's what I propose: you both point your gun at each other to be sure neither of you will shoot on Sakura-chan or me. While you do so, we'll leave the two of you alone and I'm sure you'll have another chance to kill one of us."

My brother frowned, obviously pissed out.

"No way!" Li-san approved my brother way of thinking.

"You both remember what happened last time we all got into this sort of situation; nothing's missing now. It was exactly like this back in New York city and Sakura-chan and I both finished dead, shot by you two. Do you really want this to happen again?" Syaoran-kun seemed so sure of the success of his plan, but I was doubtful. Would this really work?

My brother sighed, all confidence disappearing from his eyes. I weakly smiled; glad he could give up on his murderous plan for my safety.

"Meiling?" She grunted, but it seemed she was accepting the situation. Her cousin meant as much for her as me for my brother and I respected that. She was a nice person forced to be raw and strong. I found proof of my theory in the fact she had not killed, when she had the chance, my brother who was an obstacle for her plans.

"At three, both take one step further from the car and point your gun at each other. Then, you'll let Sakura-chan and I leave with the car." While counting to three, he took me into his arms and surprisingly, both Touya and Li-san did what Syaoran-kun had asked them to do.

Slowly, we headed towards the driver's side; my side was always facing Touya while my saviour's side was turned towards Li-san. While slowly being taken to the car, I suddenly realised I knew nothing of father's situation; what had Touya told him?

"Touya! How's dad? What did you tell him?" Without removing his eyes from Li-san, he answered my question.

"He believes you stayed at our grandfather's place; I told him I would bring you back today." Syaoran-kun and I were almost next to the driver's door.

"Now you know it won't happen. Let's tell him I immediately left to Australia because Tomoyo-chan had an accident. He won't buy it, but I bet you don't want the police to get involve."

Finally, Syaoran-kun opened the driver's door and sat down inside the car with me still in his arms. Once the door closed, I tried to move towards the passenger seat, but my saviour told me to remain on his laps.

"We better stay like this until we can't see them anymore; they won't tempt something if we're so close to each other." I nodded, resting my heavy and spinning head on his left shoulder, but still remaining out of his sight: he started the machine and the motor roared. The car started to move forwards and we passed between Li-san and Touya. My brother looked at me while I was passing by; I mouthed him I loved him and I was sorry.

Once outside the building, I finally was allowed to sit by my own on the passenger seat. Syaoran-kun slalomed between the buildings to be sure he would take a direction Touya or Li-san wouldn't pick; it still was very early in the morning and there wasn't a lot of cars on the streets so we could easily be spot if we weren't careful enough.

I had no idea where we were going, but I really was wishing we would stop to turn corners; I still felt sick. After another ten minutes of sickening driving, Syaoran-kun stopped the car into the parking lot of a McDonald, near an outdoor phone booth. Getting out of the automobile, he walked to my side and took me once again in his arms. I wondered if he was beginning to feel tired of doing that. Then, he brought me next to the phone and put some money into the machine. I looked at him, not entirely sure of what he wanted me to do.

"You have to call your father now; you must tell him with your own voice or he'll be worried."

"But it's so early in the morning!" He nodded.

"Yes, and it makes your story about your friend far more believable this way." Syaoran-kun's voice was soft and deep as if he was trying to soothe me; I then realised I was about to say goodbye to my father. We had no idea how much time we would have to stay hidden, therefore Syaoran-kun was offering me this chance to say goodbye to my family.

I took the phone and composed my house number. While waiting for an answer, my friend asked me to be quick since he didn't know if my call would be traced. Finally, my father answered with a sleepy voice.

"Moshi moshi, Kinomoto Fujitaka speaking." I took a deep breath to be sure my voice wouldn't shiver.

"Dad! It's me, Sakura."

"Sakura? Is everything alright? Your brother told me you were staying over at your grandfather's place for the night. Why are you calling me so early? Did something happen?" I closed my eyes to erase my father's worried face from my vision.

"I'm alright, but Tomoyo-chan had an accident in Australia, so I'm going there to support her. I'm so sorry I can't come back home to tell you goodbye face to face, but Tomoyo-chan's mother booked the flight too early for me to see you. I'll call you often though!" Syaoran-kun was whispering me to hurry.

"Oh! How did she get hurt?!" Oups! I had not thought about that.

"The... taxi she was in got involved into an accident. It's not as bad as it sounds thought. Hum... Dad, I'll have to go."

"Alright, Sakura. I understand. Take care of her. Be careful. I love you." I wasn't sure, but by the tone of his voice, I felt like if he didn't believe me. His "Be careful" and "I love you" seemed to mean so much more than normally.

"I love you too, dad. See you soon." I buried my face into Syaoran-kun chest after hanging up. Shielding me from the cold wind, he brought me back into the car and soon, we were on the streets again.

"What are we going to do now?"

"We're going back to Tokyo. Kinomoto-sand and Meiling were near our car and I don't know if they put a tracking device on it, therefore, I won't take any chance and we'll get on the first train for Tokyo. Do you know when we can leave?" I looked at the digital clock.

"We have about 25 minutes." He nodded. I didn't say anything else afterwards.

Later, we left for Tokyo; we left for a destination we didn't know if we would be able to get back from.

* * *

Once we got back to Tokyo, Syaoran-kun immediately took me to his apartment. Luckily! I was awfully tired of the odd looks people around me were giving me: in the train, in the taxi, in the lobby of Syaoran-kun's building. I was always held into my friend's arms, dressed into a huge cotton pants and a large white blouse, my skin was pale and my head was heavy: no wonder people were staring!

Finally, Syaoran-kun put me onto a soft giant bed. I had barely noticed the tall building we had entered, the long elevator ride we took and the grand and sumptuous apartment Syaoran-kun's was living into. The moment my head touched the pillow, my eyelids closed and I immediately fell asleep. I was too tired and dizzy to try to stay awake.

* * *

I woke up, a wet cold clothe on my forehead. My head was throbbing, but atleast the room had stopped to spin around me. I took a better look at the place I was in; the room my bed was into was awfully huge. A whole wall was made of glass providing an amazing scenery of the city, the bed was right next to it, on a pedestal, and could be hidden by a black and silver curtain. Down the few steps of the pedestal, there was the living room with a flat screen television (men and their toys) and two long black couches. The kitchen was at the end of the apartment, in the right corner while a door was on the opposite door; certainly the bathroom. I must say I was pretty amazed by this sophisticated loft. So bright and clean!

The loft being so open, I had no problem to notice Syaoran-kun wasn't there. I looked around me if there was any note; none. My mind was far too sleepy to be afraid of his absence: maybe he was at work or out shopping. A part of me wished he had left a note though; I was alone, in an unknown apartment, hurt... not the best combination.

I sat up on the bed trying to put on the floor my hurt foot's tiptoes; it hurt a bit, but not too much to forbid me to walk by myself... If you could call my "half-jumping, half limping" walking. I made my way through the living room and headed towards the door I believed was the bathroom. I was desperately in need of a shower.

I opened the door and discovered the laundry room and an other door: Syaoran-kun really liked his little comfort. On one of the machines were the clothes I had wore at my grandfather's place. Touching and smelling them, I realised they were had been washed meaning I would atleast have a clean shirt and pants after showering. I tried to figure something out for my underwear, but I soon accepted the fact I would have to ask Syaoran-kun to go buy some. I groaned and entered a room linked the washroom; there was a shower and a bath.

Quickly, I showered myself and entered the bath; my foot was already making me suffer and my muscles were still a bit stiff. I don't know how much time I sent in the bathtub, but after a moment, someone knocked on the bathroom's door; I screamed, almost having a heart attack.

"Sakura? I'm back. How are you feeling?" Of course it was Syaoran-kun.

"Fine as soon as I can put back my heart into my chest; don't startle me like that!" I heard him chuckle.

"Sorry, I thought I was going to be back from the grocery store before you wake up."

"Did you have any problems?"

"Don't worry, nothing much. I guess you saw your clothes on the wash-machine. I'll be waiting for you in the living room, then we'll be leaving to get you some stuff; you will need a bit more clothes etc..."

Even though I wanted to stay into the hot water for a bit more minutes (or hours), I still got out of the bathtub; it was already past noon and there was no way I would wait another day with the same clothes.

I entered the laundry room and limped towards my clean shirt and pants; I managed to put them on and walked out of the room, my hair was still wet because I had washed it with shampoo I had found near the bath. Syaoran-kun was sitting on one of the couches, listening to some news on television. His left elbow was resting on the couch's arms and his hand was under his chin giving him a look of a thoughtful businessman; I could almost see serious glasses on his nose.

He looked at me and at my wet hair, an eyebrow raised.

"I know, I'm sorry; I took the liberty to use your shampoo." He frowned; not mad, but perplex.

"I don't care about the shampoo, but you'll get a cold if you don't dry them." I limped to the free couch.

"Well, do you have any hairdryer?" He shook his head, got up and headed towards the bathroom to come back with a clean towel. Syaoran-kun put it on my head and began to gently rub my head to remove the water; I felt like a baby and honestly, I was far more interested in feeling like a woman by his side rather than a kid. Therefore, I stopped him.

"It's okay; I'm not impotent, thank you." He sighed and headed back to the bathroom, coming back with a comb, but staying behind me. Syaoran-kun then placed the comb in front of my face and bent down over me until his mouth was next to my ear.

"I know you're strong, but sometimes, you have to let others take care of you like you take care of them." I stayed silent; for once, he had not guessed why I had pushed away his hands. Luckily! Because it was far too embarrassing to admit you would rather have him act like a boyfriend than a brother of a father. I was five years younger; I never really thought it was such a big deal, but it was a problem if the guy starts to act like a family member. Then again, the only real couple I had been able to study was Tomoyo-chan's; they were lovey-dovey, but Eriol-kun never did something in place of his girlfriend without asking her if that was what she wanted.

The weight of my ignorance when it came to love affairs was really beginning to annoy me. Syaoran-kun had already experienced so many situations; I felt like a new born since I had never really had even a slight start of a serious relationship.

Once I finished combing my hair, Syaoran-kun looking at me the whole time from his previous seat on the couch, he gave me his coat. I eyed him, unpleased to take away his barrier against the cold, but then he took another one out of a wardrobe. I sighed at my own stupidity; I should have known better.

His apartment's keys into his hands, he came to my side and took me into his arms. I groaned.

"Can't I walk?" He smirked.

"Do you have any shoes?" I groaned once again, but a smile was none the less appearing on my lips. I was always at his mercy and sadly, I had taken a liking to this kind of situation.

While he was closing his door, I couldn't resist asking a question.

"Why did you take such an open area apartment? The only private room is the bathroom." Syaoran-kun grinned and approached his face, our nose few inches away: I had a feeling he knew exactly his eyes had a really powerful effect on me and at this moment, his beautiful orbs were all I could see, dazzling me.

"There's no place to hide." I bit my lower lips and looked away; I was under the impression that my stay at his apartment would be highly testing for my heart.

* * *

I won't ask for forgivness for my errors, since you already know I always do so... Plus, I woke up at 5 this morning and it now 1 in the morning, so I'm dead.

On a more joyous note, I have two days off, so I'll be leaving for my chalet! Yoohoo! A nice bed!!! You don't understand? It doesn't really matter: you know me, I'm always talking about senseless things.

Okay, so now I'll shut up and leave the mic to you (you do understand there's no real mic, right? Just kidding).

Have a nice week!

Lune-diamant


	11. Kitsune

**Disclaimer**: I don't own CCS.

Okay, so I'm sorry for being one week late, but I was really occupied and I must admit I was out of inspiration, but for the next chapter, I have nice ideas, now I just need to find time to write them down. Sadly, I must take time to write my diary too: it helps me a bit, concerning my stress level, my depressive episodes and such... yep, I'm fucked up... but no big deals, I'm working on it.

Anyway, if you experience stress, or sadness, or low self-confidence etc... A diary can be quite helpful: it's the psychologist talking (but it can't solve problems though... well nothing's perfect.

R & R

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter eleven: Kitsune

Current era: Japan

Syaoran-kun and I went to a huge and crowded mall I had only heard of. It was to be sure I wouldn't meet any known person. The mall was completely at the other side of the city and it had five floors. Thanks to Syoran-kun's job, president of his own business, we were transported there by one of the company's chauffeur and into a shining black car.

While we were wandering into the mall, people were staring at us since I was always into Syaoran-kun's arms; atleast I had my own clothes and not my cocky friend's. In Japan, you would rarely see a woman and a man touching each other in public so much less a woman being held by a man; things are slowly changing though... slowly...

Even if I knew it was a necessity at this moment since I had no shoes and a hurt foot, the looks we were getting were really annoying and embarrassing me. Sadly, it seemed Syaoran-kun was in no hurry to find me some shoes: before buying some, we first searched for clothes, meaning we both had to enter the boutiques while I was being held like if I was a newlywed woman. I was highly hoping for Syaoran-kun to get tired of my weight, but it seemed he had been trained well. Plus, the chauffeur was following us everywhere to hold our bags and bring it back to the car when there was too many of them. I felt so sorry for the poor man and wondered if it was part of his contract.

Luckily, it didn't take too many boutiques to have enough clothes according to me leaving only the search for shoes and underwear. However, there was no way I was going to shop underwear with him around. Therefore, I ordered him to find me some shoes so that I would atleast be able to limp into the lingerie's boutique. Smirking, he accepted and I finally was able to WALK with his help.

Finally came the underwear matter; I demanded him to stay outside the boutique and pushed and entered without him... or so I thought. Two steps later, I turned back towards him; he was playfully smirking.

"I told you to stay outside; I'll call you when I'll need you; I believe the reasons are obvious." He rolled his eyes.

"May I remind you that I already know what type of lingerie you wear? I saw everything." I grunted, blushing.

"Thanks for reminding me, but since you already saw everything, there's no point for you to accompany me." I was doing my best to stand straight, but my foot was really beginning to bug me. Syaoran-kun laughed and approached me, his hands in his pockets. Slightly lowering down his head, he faced me, amusement dancing into his gorgeous orbs.

"Relax; I was just kidding. I'll be waiting for you. Are you sure you'll be alright though?" I nodded, releasing a breath I was holding in. He exited the boutique and I turned around to face the store. A salesclerk instantly came to me and asked if I was in need of help.

The woman was a bit old, but she seemed really nice. She looked like if she was a gipsy. I smiled.

"Yes, I would need to build a whole new set of underwear." The old lady smiled and tilted her head to the side.

"To you wish to please your boyfriend too?" I was surprised at how open this woman was; I tried to do not show my embarrassment and amusement.

"No, he's not part of the equation."

"Well, even so, I can offer you to refer you to some younger salesclerk; they might be more à la page than I am, even if I do know the shop." I shook my head.

"No, you'll be just fine. I know what I need anyway. My major problem will be my foot, so if you could just spare me useless walk..."

It took us about thirty minutes to conclude the whole sale. I limped towards the entrance to get Syaoran-kun since he was the only one who could provide money; I wasn't pleased by the situation even if I knew I couldn't use my credit card, or any other cards, without being tracked down, therefore, I had no choice.

When he arrived at the cashier desk, my purchase had already been put into a bag. Syaoran-kun glanced at me while paying, amused by my shy behaviour. We thanked the old lady and went out of the boutique.

I was happy to know we were done shopping since it meant we could go back to his apartment and I could stop relying on him to walk with less difficulty. However, I had not programmed to run into Naoko-chan. Syaoran-kun and I were going out of the lingerie shop (together) when I heard a sharp gasp and the call of my name. My head immediately turned towards the sudden scream and for a moment, my brain seemed to stop processing the information; of all the places to meet a childhood friend!!

I looked up at Syaoran-kun's who was glancing at me; unpleased, but keeping his tempers and nerves under control.

I then understood I had to take the lead in the play Syaoran-kun and I had to take part into in front of Naoko-chan. My two friends didn't know each other, and therefore, the Chinese man wasn't certain of how to act; I didn't want him to alarm my friend by running off with me in his arms.

"Naoko-chan! What are you doing here... of all the places?" My voice was steady and I had a smile on my lips, but inside, my thoughts were boiling.

"Oh, there's a little library in this mall where you can find rare items and I had ordered something for my mother for Christmas. Sadly, they couldn't make it, but they were nice enough to demand a fast shipping anyway and call me right away... but I could ask you the same question; and who's your friend? You disappeared few days ago without telling anyone; did you spend Christmas with your father? And how did you hurt yourself so badly that you limp" Naoko-chan had always been the curious one.

"Hum... Yes, I was at my father's place, but as you can see, I'm back." Silence slid between us since my friend waited for the other answers I "forgot" to provide. Naoko-chan looked at Syaoran-kun , motioning me to atleast give him a name.

"And my friend here is Syaoran-kun. Syaoran-kun, I present you Naoko-chan, a childhood friend." Naoko-chan shyly smiled and looked at the bag my friend was holding. She frowned a bit and I became nervous; Naoko-chan knew me too well to believe I had gone into a lingerie boutique with a guy I never told a soul about. I tried to hold my smile still.

"Well we better get going..."

"Wait! Don't you have time to take coffee with me?" Syaoran-kun placed a hand behind my back and slightly pushed me forward.

"I'm sorry, but no. We have to leave. It will be for a next time, right Sakura-chan?" I nodded, eager to stop lying.

"Well, okay, then. See you, Sakura-chan!" I smiled and waved, but I noticed she was looking a bit suspicious; I guessed that I was a bit less cheerful than usual, plus it was obvious I was hurt (my foot) and I had not explained it either.

Quickly, Syaoran-kun brought me to a bench, made me sit and asked me to wait for him. Then, he headed back to where Naoko-chan had disappeared into the crowd: the last look I had thrown at her, I had seen her with her cell to her ear.

He came back few minutes later, took me into his arms once again and began to walk quickly, taking large steps.

"You're friend Tomoyo-chan is back in town; Naoko-chan called her since she's suspicious about me which mean we'll soon have company... which one, I don't know, but I'd rather not discover. We're going out by the back door; I told the chauffeur to wait for us there."

While Syaoran-kun was walking, I looked over his shoulder. At first, I didn't notice anything special, but eventually, something caught my eyes: some people were gazing at us. Of course, a lot were because it was not every day you would see a girl held into a guy arms like I was, but those glances of surprise, they were not out of place; the serious ones following our every movements were though. Why did this mall had to be so huge!

"I think some guys are following us... I'm not sure." Syaoran-kun grunted.

"Sure or not, we're leaving." We arrived at the back door, but as soon as Syaoran-kun's hand reached for the doorknob, a tall man approached us and forbid us to go any farther.

"If you'll please follow me; no story." Syaoran-kun groaned once again and sighed.

"Alright..." I hastily looked at him: what was he saying?! Suddenly, Syaoran-kun threw me, and I literally mean, threw me into the big stranger arms. The man caught me, almost losing his balance, but then my friend swung his fist onto the man's temples. Quickly, before the guy could bring me down with him, Syaoran-kun grabbed me back, put me over his shoulder and headed outside. Somehow, I managed to hold onto my purchase; I wouldn't have been able to loosen my grip anyway: I was too surprise and frightened.

Once outside, a surprise was waiting for us: a park. A park with bushes, trees and snow; there was nowhere to hide and at the limit of it was the car... waiting for us... Syaoran-kun had not predicted there would be a park to cross through.

Still, he couldn't just stay there and wait for our pursuers to capture us; therefore, he tried his luck and began to run towards the car and through the snow. Soon, we heard the doors bang open and the scream of some men. Over Syaoran-kun's shoulder, I saw them reaching for their weapons under their common clothes. My nails dug into my friend's skin and I couldn't contain a shriek.

"They have guns! They're gonna shoot!" And I added under my breath "And so this is how our story ends..." Clinging to Syaoran-kun, I freed the tears I had not realised I was ignoring. A wide void was forming into the pit of my stomach and I thought about all the things I was going to miss; all the experiences I had not been able to live... Had I even truly lived until then? Had I ever felt like I couldn't leave this life not because of family or friends, but because of me?

Syaoran-kun's muscles tensed up and he muttered, like if answering to my previous desperate comment "I won't let this happen; no way: Not this time." I felt he was running even faster, but then I looked once again at our pursuers: they were aiming for us... And we were such easy targets!

"Put me down! Syaoran-kun put me down! They're going to shoot; if we're not together, they might not! Touya won't let this happen! I said: leave me here!" His grip around my legs and waist tightened; Syaoran-kun had no intention to let me go. At this moment, I couldn't tear my eyes from the sight of those gunmen pointing their weapon at us. Soon enough they were going to shoot...

Suddenly, a strong wind started to blow, waking up the sleeping snow on the ground. The trees began to dance and the sky and clouds became dark and violent. The air was quickly getting oversaturated with snowflakes creating a screen between the men and Syaoran-kun and me, but that couldn't be possible because there wasn't enough snow on the ground to create such a storm; it was impossible. And yet, I didn't really care for the moment; our pursuers couldn't see us and therefore, they had really little chance to hit us even if they did try to fire.

The air was thick and cold, but we finally managed to reach the car; Syaoran-kun brutally opened the door and threw me inside the car before following me while ordering the chauffeur to step on it. He had not seen who was in the car since he was looking at the storm outside to see if the men were still after us. In fact, he realised there was someone else beside us only when he looked at me to see if I was alright. I, on the other hand, had been aware of the intruder's presence since the very moment I was thrown into the car, but I had been too surprised to even murmur to Syaoran-kun to look the visitor's way.

The moment Syaoran-kun's gaze fell on the intruder's smiling face, his arms wrapped around my body and tightly held me to his chest.

"Who are you?" Our visitor cocked his head to the side, still playfully smiling. He didn't say a word, but I managed to gain back control of my voice.

"Eriol-kun... What are you doing here?" I had so many questions, but this one was the only one I could correctly emit.

Eriol-kun still stayed silent. Growing impatient, Syaoran-kun ragingly turned towards his chauffeur.

"Hiso-san, why did you let a stranger get into the car?" Hiso-san gazed into the frontal mirror to look at us. He seemed like he couldn't understand the question.

"Sir? No one got into the car beside yourself, the damsel and of course myself... I guarantee you I would never..." With a white voice, I cut his sentence.

"Then how do you explain this man's presence?" I kept on eying Eriol-kun; my mind was still confused and I had no idea of how to react to this strange situation.

"Hum... Well, the master has every right to be in this car, miss... He is the owner after all... Is everything alright, sir? Miss?" Suddenly, Eriol-kun exploded into loud laughter and somehow, in the depth of my brain, I noticed it wasn't evil, but simply amused, like if my best friend's boyfriend was watching a great humorist's show. After a moment, Eriol-kun stopped to laugh and I felt Syaoran-kun's grip grew tighter.

"Your chauffeur can't see me." It was the first time he had opened his mouth and used his tongue and yet, his words were making no sense at all: How could the chauffeur not see him?

"What are you talking about?" Syaoran-kun lowered his head to be able to whisper into my ear.

"Sakura-chan, who is he? Do you know him?" Without removing my eyes from Eriol-kun's features, I answered my friend's question.

"He's the boyfriend of Tomoyo-chan." I asked once again my previous question in other words "What's the meaning of this, Eriol-kun?" Once again, he didn't answer to my question due to Syaoran-kun's intervention.

"There was nothing about him in the document I received back in China..." This time, it was Eriol-kun to answer.

"Of course there wasn't because I'm the one who sent you this letter." Syaoran-kun and I both stayed silent, the new information processing through our brains; though I gained back my tongue sooner than him.

"So since the very beginning, you knew who I was? You were gathering information on me? Maybe even spying on me?! Do you even really love Tomoyo-chan?" With each word grew my anger, my indignation and my pain. I kept my voice under control, but I knew my eyes were making me very easy to understand: I was mad.

"No, no, no. You don't understand. I am not Eriol Hiiragizawa. Well... you could say I am..." Syaoran-kun growled. His patience was diminishing.

"Explain yourself." Eriol-kun sighed.

"You look so much like you ancestors' spirit... I'm the kitsune-kami-sama: the fox spirit, master of illusions, mystery and cleverness." He stopped for a minute, but his audience stayed silent.

"Currently, the most powerful and known religions maintain there's only holy figure: Allah, God, whatever you call it, it remains the same. However, in Ancient Times, most civilisations, if not all, believed there was more than one god. America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia... Do your researches. Here in Japan, we were not gods, but spirits... it might even be the best description... Anyway, the fact is that our role was to maintain the balance of this World. The spirit of earth, of river, of forest; the wolf spirit, the owl spirit, of course I too ... We are so many, but we all exist for one task: keep this planet alive. Balance. Ying and Yang. But one day, we lost control: a specie was growing more and more powerful. Of course, it's the law of the jungle, but then again, this planet has its limit. Therefore, we implanted Ying into a female human being and Yang into a male kind; their unification being the most powerful gesture of bonding and therefore the only one that can free enough energy to revive Earth. We had never done this before; we didn't know Ying and Yang would blend with each human being's soul meaning that each time the planet was in need of your unification, you would appear. You have succeeded only once, but afterwards, you were mercilessly killed each time you would come back to life. Now, Earth is breaking down; dying. Back into your first life, each of your tribe had a shaman; two twin brothers despising each other; this explaining why they had joined different clans. They dreamt of your unification, of its meaning and they decided they had to stop you both from doing so; you're failure meaning Earth would be more easily surpassed by mankind. Each time you failed, men would create a new invention to take advantage of this planet; stealing without giving back. Earth grew weaker and weaker and now, it is at its limit which is why I am here; to help you both. It was decided I was the most qualified for this mission. Therefore, I fit into your good friend Eriol to keep an eye on you; he remained himself and he was aware of my presence; your friend understands the situation and I must say he enjoys this more than he should. Now that this is all cleared up, I'd like to hear a little thank for the snowstorm I created back there to save your lives." Syaoran-kun and I remained silent, still shocked by the spirit's speech. There was no way a normal human being would believe such a story, but then again, it was quite alike what we had already found at the library and reincarnation shouldn't be real either. Plus, the chauffeur couldn't see Eriol-kun and it was perfectly impossible for Syaoran-kun and I to have the same visual hallucination.

My friend was the first one to gain back his senses.

"What will happen to Earth if we do unify? Will there be earthquakes and volcanoes' eruptions?" Eriol-kun smiled and shook his head.

"We do not wish to kill your kind, we want Earth to breathe and live; the forests will bloom, rain will purify the ground and the water will be clean once again.... BUT, some people will lose their work of course. Soon, there will be no more petrol; therefore, We planned to give a little push towards cleaner ways to use the environment... Of course, it means changes and destruction of old ways, but We have no choice: the survival of your planet means yours too."

"So what happens now?" This time, I was the one to talk.

"You do what you are suppose to do, but remember. It must be thoughtless, free of any intentions... pure. Ying and Yang reside into your hearts; they're not meant to think, but to feel." I bit my lower lips, uneasiness creeping into my veins; I felt like if the World had been put on my shoulders alone to support. Of course, I knew Syaoran-kun would always be there for me, but in this situation, it wasn't really helping since he was part of the deal.

Softly, the car stopped in front of Syaoran-kun's building.

"Tell me, Eriol-kun, do you love Tomoyo-chan?" I wasn't sure if it was my friend who was going to answer or the fox spirit.

"Yes, he does; I live his feelings for her every minute of the day and night." I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to control my nerves.

"I guess I can say without fearing to make any errors it is this love you're talking about; Syaoran-kun and I have to share this sort of bond, right?" Eriol-kun nodded.

"Then do you realise the difficulties of being sure those feelings are mine and not shadows of my ancestors'? Do you realise how much stress and responsibilities you're binding to our relationship, draining it of any romanticism, any deepness and any freedom? Do you realise how hard it is to simply love? To give and have faith without being sure you won't be hurt? Do you realise that?"

Eriol-kun's eyes saddened and his chin slightly dropped.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan. I know it is hard..."

"It is..."

"But remember one thing: you cannot be forced into something you don't want to do." I huffed; his words seemed to have another meaning than the one I had always given this motto. Still, I didn't wait to see if I could decipher his little game; I managed to get free from Syaoran-kun's grasp, got out of the car and headed towards the building's lobby's main door. I heard my friend give some instruction to the chauffeur and easily caught me back since I was still limping. He leaned over my shoulder and whispered into my ears.

"He vanished."

* * *

Okay, so I'm publishing this while watching The Vampire diaries and I'm sorry if I let some errors slip out of my sight, but I really like this tv show. I know, I told you about diaries before know I'm telling you about the Vampire diaries, but for real, it is a coïncidence. My teacher talked about diaries last week and I thought I would try... Anyway, I'll stop finding excuse.

But seriously, try this show: The Vampire Diaries (on CW) It has nothing to do with Twilight (beside the vampire thing, but they're different vampires). Sadly, the bad guy, Damon, rocks! Shit...

An other show: Merlin. It's made in England. It's not the old Arthur tale, it's funnier and fresh and new. Really try those shows!

Well, see ya, gotta watch the show!

BTW: à la page, à la mode, I guess you know what it means, but kitsune means fox (just in case)

Lune-diamant


	12. Giving myself to you

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS.

Hey there! It's me again! I rushed so much to finish this chapter for today and I hope I didn't forget words: I often do that when I'm trying to be quick or I'm having inspiration.

You're gonna be surpirsed by this chapter, I can tell. Because, honestly, it's really not my style, but I thought it had to be done. I hope you don't have a clue about what I'm talking about because if you do, then it means I'm really predictable and then, you won't want to read this story anymore 'cause you'll know how it will end. Great! Now, I'm developing paranoia. Kidding, I'm just babbling about nothing, go on, read!

Have fun!

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Destiny against Choice**

Chapter twelve: Giving myself to you

Current era: Japan

Syoran-kun unlocked the door of his apartment for me and I entered the huge room without a word, followed by my roommate. I was desperately trying to keep my mind blind and mute; I didn't want to think.

I waited for all the purchase to be in the apartment and then, I announced to Syaoran-kun I wanted to take a bath. He nodded, suspiciously eying me; like if I was about to break into pieces right in front of his eyes. I quickly chose some pieces of clothing and went into the bathroom. After closing the door behind, I let myself slide to the ground, empty of any strength, any thought and any feeling. Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath, got back on my feet and limped towards the shower.

The hot water softly caressed my body, heating my skin and soothing my muscles. For a second, I let my guard down and then, it happened: every feelings I was suppressing, every thoughts I was blocking, every pain I was ignoring, it all came back to me, hitting my like a hurricane would break itself against the rocky coast.

Warm tears escaped from my eyes, mixing with the hot water of the shower. I kneeled down on the floor and cried for God knows how long. Finally, I turned off the shower and entered into the bathtub; I was exhausted and broken.

I brought my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them; thinking, at last, about my situation, about Syaoran-kun and about the responsibility we had been given against our will.

Tears still pouring, I managed to form a coherent thought: I had to sort things out in my head before trying to take care of this whole mess.

My "mission" could be summarised by one action: have sex with Syaoran-kun. Eriol-kun had been nice enough not to use those words, but it was pretty obvious it was what he was talking about. Plus, Syaoran-kun's and my first prophetic dream was clearly showing what our ancestors were doing. My problems about this one and only task was that I was still a virgin and I had always wanted to give myself on my own will, free of any obligation and to someone I truly and deeply love.

And here it was, the most important question: did I love Syaoran-kun? I was afraid to say yes, but I knew that if I didn't, I would lie to myself, because I had a lot of affection for him and I was certain I would be safe by his side; safe of any pain and harm. He had been able to soothe me like no one else had been able to.

Somehow, he had reached me, had forbidden me to flee from him who only wanted to know me and maybe to love me some day. However, it was difficult to know if those feelings were ancestors or ours and I was afraid of what would happen after our "mission"; would we realise it was all because of our past or would we stick together because what we feel is true. Honestly, I had never dreamt to give myself to someone in this sort of situation, in this atmosphere of uncertainty. And yet, it was impossible to even consider about escaping from it. I brought my hands to my face and energetically rubbed my skin. I had come to a decision; it didn't feel right, but I was not going to back up.

I got out of the bathtub and put on some clothes. Opening the door leading to the main room of the apartment, I immediately saw Syaoran-kun reading some huge documents, so absorbed by it that I was sure he hadn't even realised his right hand's fingers were playing with a red pen. I cleared my throat to make him acknowledge my presence.

He raised his head and looked at me, startled: he really was into his reading.

"Work?" He nodded.

"You should go take a bath. I'll make dinner if it's okay with you." Syaoran-kun nodded once again, this time, he was totally focused on me, trying to figure out if I was alright, if I was not hiding my sorrow or discomfort. I had come to know I had to be a really good actress to cover up my pain and sadness when I was with him since Syaoran-kun was really perceptive and smart, but I believe that I managed to fool him that evening.

He swiftly got on his feet and took some clothes. I calmly walked to the kitchen area while asking him if he wanted something special; he didn't care, but he was starving. I should have been too since all I had today was a muffin and orange juice Syaoran-kun bought me at one of the mall's café, but those last days had been difficult and had removed any feeling of hungriness.

Still, I knew I had to eat and take care of my health; I didn't know how the coming days would be, but I was certain I had no energy to survive to events like the ones I'd been through for the past few days... Only a couple of days; it felt like if a year had passed since then... It seemed so long ago and in this empty apartment, a chill crept to me.

Shaking my head, I tried to come back to Earth: it was no time to think about the past, to think about Naoko-chan calling Tomoyo-chan and then bad guys trying to kidnap Syaoran-kun and I... Something started to stir in my stomach, but instead of analysing what I felt, I forced myself to ignore it and resume my cooking: That night, I was not a good student of psychology.

Absentmindly, I prepared a decent meal out of what was into Syaoran-kun fridge and soon enough, my friend got out the bathroom, his hair still and his white shirt unbuttoned. I desperately tried to focus on setting the table instead of admiring his perfectly sculpted body: how could Kami-sama be so unfair and give an Adonis when I was only a regular girl. I shook the thought off; it wouldn't get me anywhere anyway since it seemed the Kami-sama wanted me to feel diminished.

Once my mind was calm again, a pasted a smile on my lips and set my eyes on him.

"I did what I could for dinner. Sit down, I'll give your plates." Syaoran-kun swiftly lifted a corner of his lips into a half-smile, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. I had no idea how he was feeling or thinking and I had no clue about what it meant; maybe nothing, maybe I was just becoming paranoiac.

"No, take a seat. I'll do it. You already stayed up for too long; it's not good for your feet." It was true, my feet was really bugging me and I could feel the pulse of the blood echoing into it. Still smiling, I thanked him did as I was told.

I must say that a long silence crept between us atleast until Syaoran-kun finally sat down at the table. I didn't wait for him to ask what I had cooked: the silence was too dense so I had to talk.

"It's capelli del Angelo, in other words thin spaghetti, with shrimps, crabs and all sort of see products. I hope that it's okay with you." This time, Syaoran-kun's smile stayed on his lips for a while.

"It's perfect, don't worry." Playing with my fork, I tried to find something else to say. Since we had seen Eriol-kun, we hadn't talk much yet as if we were both afraid of something: I knew what I was scared of, but what about him?

"So, you never told me what your job really was about?" As they say: way to go dude! Nothing else had appeared in mind, it was all I could manage.... But it worked! Syaoran-kun really began to open up and tell me what his enterprise was about; the thing is that I didn't understand a word! I had never been interested into the business world and now I couldn't understand a damn thing! I tried to look smart and nodded often, but at one point, Syaoran-kun stopped and asked: "Do you understand what I'm talking about?" I thought about lying, but then I saw his smirk; his amused (and devilishly devastating) smirk. Syaoran-kun had guessed... I slightly lowered my chin.

"Not a word. Sorry. I'm into human's relation and thoughts. I'm no good with deals and numbers... Sorry." My friend chuckled and afterwards, put an elbow on the table to rest his chin in his hand. He cockily and playfully stared at me; I felt like if he was going to eat me... and somehow, I didn't mind this option.

"Then, let's talk about that. I think I can handle it and the conversation will be far more enjoyable if you say more than "okay"." I pursed my lips, slightly ashamed, but quite happy too. The dinner became far more "enjoyable" like had said Syaoran-kun; it was nice talking to him since he was really open-minded and smart. Even after our plates were empty, we stayed at the table, pleased to have this little carefree chat. We talked about our childhood, about our dreams, about what we like; we were not always on the same page, but neither of us felt threatened by the opinion of the other.

Finally, Syaoran-kun looked at a clock on the wall and got up, taking the plates with him.

"It's late; you should go to sleep. I'll do the dishes tomorrow morning." I nodded.

"But I'd like to see the news first if you don't mind?"

"Sure." I took place a sofa and turned on the television on the wall, surfing through the channels to find where I could have some news. Finally, Syaoran-kun came too and sat down on the couch in front of the television.

Keeping the remote in my hand, I got up and slowly walked to him. Then, I sat down by his side. Of course, at first he was surprised, but I could feel his muscles were still relaxed; it had to happen at this moment, or I was sure my courage and strength would vanish... and I couldn't; Eriol-kun had made it very clear. After silently taking a deep breath in, I passed my right leg over his to sit down on his lap. With the remote, I turned off the television, not wishing to hear any annoying background noises, and let the remote slid to the carpet.

Syaoran-kun still didn't move an inch, but his eyes were piercing through my soul, searching for my intentions.

"Sakura-chan, what are you doing." His deep voice was soft, pure of any disapproval. However, my hands were shaking with fright so I had no intention to thrust my voice either at that moment; therefore, I didn't answer to his question.

My hands found their way to his collarbone and jaw and my eyes rested on his lips; sumptuous, perfect, inviting. Drowning into his appealing scent, I slowly leaned forward to finally steal a kiss. Our lips locked and I immediately felt a bolt of electricity running through my veins. Kissing him was awfully good; even if I knew I had to go further... not for my own pleasure, but for Earth. This perspective was dreadful, but while kissing him, I could forgot everything; why I was doing this, where I was, who were after us. His lips were just perfectly dancing with mine, reaching for my chin, my collarbone, my neck.

Syaoran-kun's kisses were hot on my skin and were raising my hunger for him, for more. Slowly, I kissed my way to his ear, captured his earlobe between my lips...and played with it as temptatively as I could. For moment, he stopped, but then I felt his smile against my throat and he pulled my head back to attack once again my mouth. His tongue smartly found its way into my mouth and deepened the kiss that was already raising my body temperature. Shy at first, I managed to give him what he was waiting from me and somehow, our grip on each other grew stronger.

My heart was racing into my ribcage and my blood was boiling. I rested my hands on his hard chest and slid them towards the shoulders forcing the blouse to get out of the way. Getting the hint, Syaoran-kun helped me to remove it from him while hotly caressing my jaw with his lips. His arms tightened around my body, caressing every inch of it and while my hands were exploring his, I could feel his radiating heat; he was so warm, so comfortable.

After a while, his hands slid towards my bottom and stopped at the edge of my shirt. Slowly, his warms hands plunged under it making me feel dizzy, but yet satisfied, as if his hands had always belonged onto my skin. Carefully, he grabbed my shirt and pulled it off of me, leaving only my bra to cover my upper body, while I was rising up my arms to help him. They fell back on his shoulders, clinging onto him for warmth while he was contently exploring his new playground.

His lips found back mine while we slowly slid into a laying position; him on top of me. I had never thought it could be possible, but our kisses became more and more passionate and our breath more and more heavy. We were moving and caressing like if there was no tomorrow, like if we had waited for years to finally give ourselves to each other. Sweat was appearing on our tangled bodies and the passion was taking over all my senses. On their own, my hands found their way to his jeans and began to play with the button. Immediately, Syaoran-kun began to do the same while kissing my lips, my throat, my collarbone, my shoulders, my everything making me more and more lost into this intense pleasure of being touched this way by the one who's worth your affection.

But then, on one last strand of coherent thought, I realised something: survival or no survival, I didn't want it to be this way. I didn't want to make love with Syaoran-kun when I was so stressed out about doing it for the sake of the people. He had given me a taste of what it was and it certainly felt like Heaven, but what was going to happen afterwards? Would I regret it? I had jumped on him because I believed it was my duty, but I had a duty to my heart too and I knew I didn't want it to be this way. I stopped what I was doing and slightly pushed away his chest.

"No stop!" Out of breath, a whisper was all I could manage to produce, but still, Syaoran-kun ceased all actions and intensely stared at me; I escaped his gaze and suddenly I felt extremely naked and defenceless in front.

"I'm sorry, I can't; not like this." I heard him sighed.

"I know." I felt his hand caressing my cheek and dared to look at him; Syaoran-kun was softly smiling down at me.

"I knew since the very beginning of your appealing attack." Now he was smirking.

"You knew? Then, why didn't you stop me? I feel like a fool now..."

"Don't. I just love kissing you; I wanted to take advantage of the situation before stopping you. Sorry."For a moment, I was breathless, but then as realisation hit me, I shamefully brought my hands up to cover my face.

Syaoran-kun's presence disappeared, but I instantly felt the soft touch of my shirt. I peeked through my fingers and look at what was happening: Syaoran-kun had put my shirt on me and was now kneeling beside the sofa, by my side.

"Listen: I had a feeling you were going to try something like this to try to do our duty, but honestly, this is not the way. Remember Eriol-san's words: pure of any attention, giving, free. You're not ready and it's okay. Don't give something if it's meaningless... Can you recall a past life when I played with you and slept with you only to get rid of you? Of course, your intentions are far nobler than mines back then, but it's the same anyway." I sat up and put on my shirt. Once completely covered, I looked at him and slightly smiled.

"Sorry." I was so tired; it was all I could say.

"It's just the way you are; horribly cute and naive." I groaned.

"Stop talking to me like if I was just a child." Without any warning, he launched himself towards me and kissed me before taking his leave towards a drawer.

"We forgot to buy something for you to sleep into. You can have one of my shirts." I glared at him meaning to understand I was accusing him of taking advantage of the situation.

He smiled even more widely. "It will be a long one. You have so much thrust in me!" He handed me a black shirt and I snatched it away from him before limping towards the bathroom; at this moment, I was strongly wishing I could have been able to walk proudly... Still, I had given up on thinking: I was too exhausted to think about I had tried to do.

Once back into the main room, I found Syaoran-kun on the couch, a blanket covering his tall body. I stooped a few meters away from him.

"What are you doing?" He opened his eyes.

"I didn't want it to be awkward." I tiredly sighed.

"_This_ is awkward. Come on, get up; I'm not letting you sleeping there. Plus, there's nothing you haven't already touched or seen." I wasn't directly looking at him, but I could catch a glimpse of a forming smirk. He got up, switch off the lights and followed me towards the pedestal where was placed the bed.

I began trying to climb up the small stairs, but it was a lot more difficult than climbing down. Therefore, Syaoran-kun slid his hands to my waist and put me up on the pedestal. I murmured "thanks" and hid under the sheets. Syaoran-kun switched off the lamp beside the bed and got in too.

Instead of turning my back on him, like I thought I would since I was such a chicken, I faced him; we were both laying on our side, staring at each other, his smirk slowly dying.

"So what happens now?" In this perfect silence, all I could do was murmur.

"We wait. We live. We stay safe... We sleep." A slight smile crept back to his lips. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I'm yours." I opened back my eyes, a feeling of vulnerability crawling into my skin due to the words I had always dreaded to say.

"In a few days, you're going to wish you had never given me your heart; because I swear, I won't let you go." I closed back my eyes and rested my forehead againt his chest; and drifted to sleep.

* * *

Okay, do you want to kill me? Is it bad?... I'm not sure about the end. Anyway, I quickly tried to correct this chapter but I don't have much time, I'm leaving soon somewhere, so please forgive me!

About my next chapter, I probably won't be able to publish next week... maybe in two weeks I will, but in the next two weeks, I have exams and work to hand in, so be patient.

Thanks everybody for your reviews! I always appreciate them and I do my best to answer to all of them! So have fun and take care!

Lune-diamant


	13. Wrapped in Morpheus's arms

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS.

Okay, so I'm writing this on Tuesday because I really want this chapter to be ready for Friday and the next one for next week; I don't have any exams next week, but I've got work to do for university so... see the picture?

I had fun writing this chapter: I was able to explore different characters, different personalities and different stories... yup, I had a lot of ideas for this chapter!

Anyway, so here it is, I did my best, but I did have a problem with grammar somewhere in my text; I didn't know what tense to use. I hope I didn't screw that part up. We'll see...

Well, I hope you'll have fun reading it!

R&R

* * *

**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter thirteen: Wrapped into Morpheus's arms

Current era: Japan

_I was walking through the white pure mist dancing around me. I should have been wondering what I was doing there, but surprisingly, I didn't care; I felt at ease, at peace. The atmosphere was soft and warm, allowing me to feel completely comfortable with the thin and flowing white dress I was wearing. My feet and arms were bare, but their nudity was not a problem even if I knew it was winter. Or was it?_

_Step after step, I felt like if I was visiting different time period, different realities; here a blooming garden, there a frozen lake, under my feet the soothing feeling of a beach licked by a slightly agitated silver sea... Different time, different places. Where was I? When was I? Did it really matter?_

_Softly, a calm gush of wind whispered my name. "Sakura." I swirled, curious, but carefree. Was someone there?_

"_Sakura." I ceased to move and applied a hand on my throat. The voice vibrating through the air... it was mine. Had I spoken? Had my lips parted? I didn't think so._

_Quietly a strand of air caressed my back and cut through me, removing a form out of my body. Slowly, the reflection of my pale body appeared before me; two drops of water. My double facing me was a tribal one, but her eyes were soft and caring._

"_Sakura."_

"_Ying Fa." The words flew out of my mouth without any difficulties, unconsciously. It was her. We were like twins. Ying Fa tilted her head to the side and sweetly smiled._

"_Why do you appear in my dreams?" I heard myself ask the question, but I had had no intention to demand anything. My mind was blank._

"_In this life, we may look the same; however, you are who you are. My actions are not yours and yours or not mine. Find your own path." For the first time, I was feeling a little bit of disappointment. Her words were making sense, but I couldn't understand what she meant... What she really wanted me to understand. Was she telling me to let him go?_

"_There's no other path to take; I don't want to flee. I want to be at his side." Slowly, Ying Fa raised a pale and perfect hand to my cheek and caressed my cool skin. She was still smiling at me like a mother._

"_Water can reach the river without taking the same road." What was she implying? Why was she telling me this? More and more, sensations were filling back my mind: confusedness, frustration, stress..._

"_What do you mean?" She showed once again her pure smile. Ying Fa was slowly glowing._

"_Earth give and Earth take, but both are necessary." The halo surrounding her was pushing her towards me, but she never took a step. Still, her erasing silhouette collided with my solid body and the warmth of her soul melted into my heart. A tear dropped on my cheek._

_Suddenly, all those places, all those periods of time, they were being engulfed into my soul, into my brains, each bringing a memory which was never mine; few only I was able to grab more clearly than others since Syaoran-kun had mentioned them..._

_

* * *

_

_1811 after J.C. : United Kingdom_

_My heart was beating so fast that I was afraid it would actually explode. It was THE night; I knew it. He had given in. He had answered._

_Since so many weeks I've been trying to inscribe some sense in his tick skull! Since so many months I've been searching for him, working in salons, singing in tea garden parties and in classy restaurants sometimes even singing for the King. When I left Paris, I had no idea of how to find him, but I knew I would; my feet had always led me to him no matter far from each other we were._

_And here I was, in London, looking at my reflection into the full length mirror of my little cozy apartment, making sure my corset, my dress, my curved hair, my powdered cheeks; my everything is perfect. While running my hands on my dress's long skirt, I thought about my family and friends I had left in France... about my French aristocratic father and my Japanese mother who had been sent into a Krankenhaus in Austria after being raped and becoming mad with despair... about my dear older brother who had been studying so hard only to find himself stuck into a stupid and useless hunt; a run after his own sister, about my best friend Tyfannie who had always provided so wise advices and so compassionate attention to my wellbeing and still being the most beautiful and paid court to._

_I left them all for him, but it was the only way, it was my only chance to reach happiness one day and feel at last, complete. It was my only chance to escape to my mother's family too; I can't understand how they managed to found my mother back..._

_I looked at myself one last time and headed outside to reach the restaurant I was working for as a singer; we were supposed to meet after my shift. While riding into a carriage, I couldn't help, but think about the first time I saw him. I was working at the restaurant for a little while then and I was on stage, under the soft spotlights, singing one of my songs when I had found myself shivering. I knew something was going to happen and it did: he appeared. He had come with a group of gentlemen and had sat down at one of the tables nearest to the stage. He was standing out with his Asian features. At first, he didn't notice me since he was laughing and talking to his companions, but after a while, I caught a glimpse of one of his friends motioning to the group to look at me and he did... and he recognised me... and he was mesmerized by me... _

_After my show, I exited the staff room and went to his table to introduce myself and he was still there; he hadn't move. His friends had been all very eager to know more about me, but HE hadn't been able to speak or move; he was too surprised... or frightened. _

_When it was time for them to leave, all his companions had expressed their intention to see me again, but he had remained silent; though he intensely glared at them, clearly pointing out that I was not for them. None the less, he never asked anything about me. Still, I did not let this chance slip between my fingers and decided to discretely follow him. _

_He stopped in front of a huge perfectly white house standing into a magnificent garden. On the front balcony he remained motionless for a moment, but then, he had turned around and walked with his head held high and with huge confident steps; he got out of his garden and found my hiding place behind a huge and thick tree._

"_Miss, I would be highly pleased if you would stop following me." I frowned, unpleased._

"_But sir, don't you know who we are? What we are supposed to be for each other."_

"_I am very sorry to inform you that I won't bend to your will. I am perfectly pleased by my current situation." I playfully rose an eyebrow and pursed my lips, aware of my flirtuous behaviour._

"_And what might it be? A nice and quiet fiancée? A cozy job? A dog maybe? But can they bring you what your soul is screaming for?" I had gotten closer, so close I could smell his expensive manly perfume, and had slightly raised my chin only to look at him through my furnished dark eyelashes. I had been raised to be a perfect damsel, but this time, I knew I had to be a woman, not a maiden._

"_Can they give you this passion and tension your heart is longing for at this exact moment? Can they offer you..." Suddenly, he tightly grabbed my shoulders, crushed me against his hard body and kissed me like if he was about to die if not for my lips. His hunger was so strong that for several minutes, he didn't even break the kiss once to breathe correctly. After a long and blissful moment, he ceased. Then he took my chin between his strong fingers, like eagle's talons, and coldly stared down at me. Still, I tried to gain his heart._

"_Can they offer you l'amour éternel (eternal love)?" He vehemently frowned, almost snarled._

"_L'amour éternel? More like the malheur éternel (eternal misfortune). __Are you not tired to die at such a young age? Maybe we should forget each other, maybe our numerous deaths are signs for us to stop, to tell us we're not meant to be." I felt tears threatening to get free._

"_C'est faux! You know it is not true." He snorted._

"_Forget us." And he left me alone, on the sidewalk, in the darkness of the night._

_After this little episode, I was able to get some information on him; his father was a deceased Chinese fortuned man and his mother was a pure blood English woman who had been promised to him because her father was obsessed with China. My beloved's name was Li; he was a businessman and had a fiancée he hardly saw... but he was seeing me a lot since his friends were often dragging him back to the restaurant I was working for and every time, I tried and tried to get him to give up on resisting this urge I knew he was feeling and the night before, he had finally done it._

_And here I was, in a carriage, leading me to my stage and to him. Once arrived, I entered by the back door, immediately getting into the staff room. Few employees complimented my particularly shinning beauty and I thanked them with warm smiles: I knew I was beautiful, but I had always been careful to not become cocky and snob because of it; I was only beautiful because of my mother's heritage._

_And the time came; I dramatically walked on the stage and began to sing. The restaurant was very crowded, but I managed to find him, to find the man I was born to love. He was looking at me, his lips sealed shut, but his eyes shining; I knew Li was admiring my hair, my eyes, my dress, my voice... I could feel his gaze caressing my features like if it had been his fingers._

_Once I was finished with my show, I escaped to the staff room and out by the back door. He was already waiting for me. This whole evening developed into my most treasured night and we ended up at my apartment, the door locked and the curtains closed._

_He made love to me._

_Passion, temptation, dizziness, hotness... It was perfect; he was perfect. I felt alive, whole._

_But..._

_Earth didn't react. Earth didn't breathe. Earth didn't reborn._

_I stayed there, on my soft bed, only covered with sweat, waiting for this feeling of unification... but it never came._

_A few moments later, Li got on his feet and began to put back his clothes on. I grabbed sheets and covered my exposed body._

"_Why did nothing happened? What are you doing?" Still dressing himself up, he slightly turned his eyes towards me._

"_I gave you what you wanted, what you needed; now I'm leaving." I clung to the piece of sheet I was crushing against my chest, petrified._

"_If nothing happened, I guess it means we're not meant to be." Somehow, I managed to gain back control of my tongue._

"_You don't love me? You won't give your heart to me?" Almost completely dressed, he straightened up and sighed._

"_Look, I did what we were supposed to do to get this mess over with; it didn't work? Well, it is a bother, but not mine. Now leave me alone: I want to live free. I want to live." Without another word, he exited my apartment. Without another look, he left me alone in my misery. I felt tears forming in my eyes. I felt a void forming into the pit of my stomach. I felt hopelessness forming into my soul. _

_I remained in bed, crying my heart out all night long. When the morning came, the tears had stopped. Quickly, without any thoughts running through my mind, I began my washing routine and tried to hide with makeup the blue bags that had appeared under my emerald eyes. I dressed up into a pure white and pink dress. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I had never told him or his friends my name. Strength crept back into my heart. Anger introduced itself into my chest. I had to see him. I had to tell Li my name, so he would always know who he had screwed; who had messed up with._

_All my good banners seemed to disappear; my sophisticated smile had vanished from my full pink lips. People who were often passing by me in the streets and were used to my cute little face, was more afraid and concerned than envious and in awe._

_I turned the corner of his street only to see gentlemen, all dressed in black and with top hat, standing in front of Li's house, on the other side of the street. With a dreadful feeling, my mind lost control on my feet and I began to run towards the opening door of the beautiful white house encircled by the wonderful and colourful garden. _

_I glimpsed at the men who only saw me once I had entered the garden; hastily they rose shining long guns towards the man who was locking his front door._

"_Li!"He turned around, surprised to see me and then spotted the gangsters. As I reached for him, I heard a deafening detonation echoing into the calm little row of luxurious houses. I hastily turned around only to receive a burning and painful blow into my stomach. One of the men in black screamed his dissatisfaction... Brother? For a moment, my lungs seemed to give up on working, but they managed to hold on. Falling backwards, I closed my eyes, afraid to undergo any more suffering._

_Instead, a warm presence enveloped my soon-to-be corpse and delicately brought me down on the floor, my upper body resting on firmed legs. I gazed at my dress, my beautiful and pure and ruined dress; so white and now so red. I felt the pain, I felt the end, but it couldn't be; I still had things to do..._

_I looked upwards; I looked at him, at Li... and I saw... I saw what I wanted to see. Li's eyes were showing no fear even if his end was near too... He was just sad, sorry... angry._

"_Chérie."_

"_What?"_

"_My name is Chérie... it sounds like cherry in English... Ying Fa, cherry blossom..." He faintly smiled down at me._

"_I'm sorry, I was weak and..." I caressed his lips with the tips of my fingers, hushing him._

"_It wasn't our time. I'll be waiting for your love in another life." He took my hand and kissed the palm. Quickly, he glanced at the unmoving murderers before staring back at me. __I smiled at him._

"_Je t'aimais, Li et je t'aimerai encore, alors ne me déçois pas. __(I loved you, Li and I'll love you again, so do not deceive me.)" I was so tired, my eyes were heavy, but I did my best to keep them open and to keep smiling. One last word._

"_Au revoir." Darkness and silence captured my soul, but something still reached me: another gunshot. _

_Later in the year, steam trains were invented and successfully used._

_

* * *

_

_1905 after J.C.: United States_

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

_Run, we had to run! She found us; Stephanie, my lover's cousin found us. And my brother must not be too far either; being a Mafioso can provide you some useful connections..._

_My lungs felt like exploding and I was panting heavily. I had no idea of our location or where we were going. I had always thought I knew New York well, but I guess I was wrong. All I wanted was give up and sit down, but Liam wouldn't let me; he wouldn't let me give up... like he gave up once, back in one of our lives._

_My long skirt was in my way and my coat was becoming awfully annoying and hot since we had been running for so much time. Right, left, left, right... Liam seemed to know where we're going, but it was all self-control; like me, he didn't know where to hide._

_Finally, a green space appeared before our eyes: Central Park! How had we ended up there? There was no time to wonder! We had to hide and quick. We darted towards the naked trees trying to keep into old steps in the snow._

_Quickly, we ran towards a bridge passing over a small river and hid under it after jumping over the railing and on the shore to be sure we wouldn't let any traces leading to us._

_Panting, hardly breathing, we held on each other, trying to gain back our breath, but as soon as I calmed down, my throat closed down and tears appeared on my cheeks. My grip on his coat tightened and his arms enveloped my petite form._

"_I'm sorry; it's my fault! I never should have come to you. We were better away from each other. I was reckless and stupid!"_

"_Shhhh... Don't you dare say that! I am glad to have you in my life; even if for only few days. And even if we don't succeed now, we'll manage to be together one day, remember? Never lose hope Mary-Rose. Never! Do you hear me?" I nodded, whimpering and crying. Liam managed to make me look up to him and tenderly kissed my lips._

"_You once offered me eternal love..."_

"_And you answered my gift was in fact eternal misfortune." He kissed me once again, passion vibrating through every of his caresses._

"_I was wrong; I believe in those kisses, I believe in your heart and I believe in mine. Eternal love is what you give me because every life, you come to me and you accept me the way I am." I caressed his jaw and gazed into his intense amber eyes._

"_What if you don't want me anymore? What if I become tired of all this?" He smirked._

"_It has never stopped you before. Don't give up on us." He lowered down once again to capture my lips; we knew it was a goodbye... we had failed... for the moment. I cried, tired of all of this, tired to be tore apart from the one I loved._

"_That is enough. Liam, get away from her." Stephanie. She had found us. I didn't know how, but she had and I was about to sleep because there was no way I was going to survive; her only goal was to save Liam and maybe it was better this way. Too exhausted; I was too exhausted._

"_I won't. You'll have to kill me too, Stephanie."_

"_Oh, she won't have to." And here he was; my brother dressed in his clean black suit and hat, his gun pointed at us just like Stephanie's._

"_Thomas! Don't!" My voice echoed under the stone bridge. _

_His gun was directly pointed towards Liam... and he shot... and everything happened so fast... so fast..._

_I tried to protect Liam, I did! But he wouldn't let me and grabbed me by the waist to keep me out of the way. He received the bullet...right in his throat. No time for words. No time for goodbyes. _

_No time for love._

_It was like if ice had suddenly frozen my heart, but my tears had turned into lava. Breathless, I received his heavy body into my arms and I crumbled to the ground wishing my turn would soon come. A scream vibrated behind me; a painful and sad scream... and a shot... everything went black._

"_So... much... blood... all the time."_

_Few months later, Albert Einstein presented his theory about special relativity; the theory that led to the atomic bomb._

_

* * *

_

Current era: Japan

I woke up, startled, the darkness still surrounding me.

"So much blood! All the time..." I didn't know where I was. I didn't know who I was.

Calmly, Syaoran-kun slightly moved beside me and turned his head towards me. Slowly, he opened his eyes and worriedly glanced at me.

"What is it? Are you alright?" He sat down and enveloped my shoulders with his arm.

"I remember everything. I remember..." I stopped and let the silence creep back around us. He sighed.

"I know it's hard. All this information..." I shook my head.

"No... I mean yes. I mean... I feel like I have to understand something... those memories... are showing me something..." Syaoran-kun frowned, thinking.

"Which ones?" I closed my eyes and hid my face behind my hands.

"That's the problem... I don't know... for now, there are too many memories..." Syaoran-kun gently grabbed my hands and brought me down on my back.

"Everything will get clear when the time will come. Now, you should sleep." He lied down by my side, still holding my hands.

"Now sleep." He kissed my neck and intensely gazed at me, making clear he wanted me to close my eyes.

I did. And soon, dreams welcomed me back.

* * *

There wasn't much Sakura-Syaoran time, but even if you don't like this chapter because of that, I must say I really like it.

I had to do researches, you know, because I'm no encyclopedia: I had no idea what exactly had lead to the atomic bomb ( I knew it was a formula from Einstein, but that was it) and I wasn't aware the industrial revolution had occured at the same time as Henry VIII's affairs ( I knew when it occured, but I had never made the link). Well, you learn something every day.

But tomorrow, I'll have to focus on pathology; I have an exam on Thursday morning (remember, for me it's Tuesday).

Well, I think I'm gonna go.

Please review to tell me this chapter was not useless and boring. Thanks!

Lune-diamant


	14. Don't you dare forget!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS.

SORRY! I am so sorry! One month of waiting, I'm sorry!

I've had... some problems... I believe I have a slight tendancy to have a mood disorder, nothing to serious... but let's I'm vulnerable to depression (I already had an episod a year ago). With bipolar disorder, mania is really good when you want to create something, but not when you have depression. I'm not saying I had depression for the last few weeks, it's just that I was down. So yeah, sorry again, but I couldn't write a single word. Plus, I'm so anxious right now that I actually have physical symptoms... Not cool...

However, I wrote almost the whole chapter today in only four or five hours! And I must say it helped. It's like a private therapy. I'm alright!

I hope it's good atleast....

Have a nice time reading this chapter!

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Destiny against Choice**

Chapter fourteen: Don't you dare forget

Current era: Japan

Few days after the New Year Eve, I woke up to the sound of glittering and rummaging: it was Syaoran-kun, dressing up into a neat and classy suit.

Noticing me stretching in his bed while sitting up, he stopped and smirked.

"I'll never get use to seeing you here, waking up in my apartment." I ran a hand through my messy hair and look down at his long shirt I was wearing.

"Yeah, such a beautiful sight." I almost snorted, but Syaoran-kun bent down over the bed and rested his hands at each side of my body. His face was only inches away from mine and a playful smile was still decorating his appealing lips.

"Beautiful and sexy..." And he tenderly reached for a kiss, hunger barely concealed. It only last for a few seconds, but it felt like if my heart was giving up on me, leaving me breathless and defenceless.

Syaoran-kun gently pulled away and stared at me while all I could do was keep my eyes shut in delight.

"You have to stop this." I opened my eyelids only to be kissed once again.

"Stop what? Kissing you? Never." So near, I could see his penetrating eyes, his squared jaw, his perfect tanned skin...

"You're too perfect: you don't know what effect you have on me. Why don't I have this effect on you too?" I was so afraid to sound stupid that I couldn't force my voice to sound any louder than a whisper... especially the last part. His hands reached for my collarbone, then my neck, then my cheeks; slowly, carefully...

"You don't know what you're talking about. Do you know how hard it was to resist you a week ago when you tried to seduce me? Do you know hard it is to simply leave you?" I sourly smiled.

"Passion. Passion fades. Always." Syaoran-kun shook his head.

"Never. Not us. This is our gift. We should know; we've been walking on Earth since at least five thousand years." A small laugh escaped my lips.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine. Now, I really got to hurry up or I'll be late for work. You have that cell phone I gave you right? Don't lose it if you have to get out of the apartment, but I'd rather not have you outside."

"Work? I would have begun a new semester if not for this whole mess..." Syaoran-kun stopped playing with his tie and looked at me.

"I know it's not the best situation right now, but you do understand the necessity... my necessity to keep you away from your normal routine." I stared down at my fingers playing with a piece of sheet.

"If only I had my books, I could still study." This was not meant for him to hear, but it seems he was still not focused enough on his tardiness to be blind to my comments.

"If you want, we can buy those books soon." I smiled as brightly as I could to him.

"Sure, now, you go or you'll really be late." He cursed, ran to me and quickly kissed me before heading out. Once the door was closed, I couldn't help, but laugh at my charming prince; Syaoran-kun who was usually so cool and relax could be caught unprepared. That was a first for me; I had always thought he was somehow perfect even if his past was more than questionable.

However, I realised after a few minutes how silent and empty his apartment could be and my early happiness died down. Sighing and passing a hand into my sleek hair, I scrutinised every inch of the huge room. Without Syaoran-kun, I felt lost and alone.

I looked at the digital clock and decided it was too early in the morning to face such an emptiness, therefore, I closed the curtains around the bed to block any sight of it and went back to sleep only to wake up a few hours later.

Singing to fill the silence, I took a few things and went to the bathroom. While washing my hair in the shower, I thought about the last week I had spent with Syaoran-kun. My feet were mostly heeled now so I was able to walk more freely, but going on long walk... well, let's say I could if I really wanted to go somewhere.

For the New Year's celebration though, Syaoran-kun and I had gone to a temple at the end of the day to make our wish and pray for the good fortune; the temple was animated and so pretty with its illuminated trees. Through the whole process, he kept me close to him as if I could vanish in thin air and I had to admit that it was great; to know that somebody was not only there for me, but mine. It was something I had never been able to live and now I knew why: because no matter how great was the guys I wanted to maybe be with, I couldn't. I just couldn't. I had the feeling it was because of Ying Fa. She had never wanted to surrender to any man, but she had given her heart to only one and now, her soul was with me. Little by little, I was beginning to understand what was happening to me... to us.

But I still couldn't bring myself to do what I was supposed to. Somehow, I knew it wouldn't accomplish anything for the moment... maybe because I felt like I was not ready. I was afraid: I had kept myself protected of man's intrusion in my intimacy for so long... Now I was giving a little of myself, chip by chip to him, but I certainly couldn't go as fast as I should.

Still, Syaoran-kun understood me and had no intention of forcing me into anything. Plus, I had a hint he was glad to keep me all for himself; this way, we could learn about each other and know more and more deeply that we would be glad if we were given the chance to live our lives together.

Once I was done with my shower and bath, I exited the bathroom to wander into the big apartment. I looked at the huge tv screen on the wall and sighed. Taking the remote and turning it on anyway, I listened to the news: some scientists complaining about not having enough financial help for their ecological research and inventions, destruction near a pipeline in the Middle East causing quite a turmoil, floods in India, drought in South America, blizzards in North America and Russia... I turned the tv off; it had been a while since I had taken a peek at the news, but I couldn't recall seeing such bad ones! And what could Syaoran-kun and I do about it? How could our unification be of any good? Magic or something like that, I guessed. It couldn't be anything else with everything I had seen and heard. I pushed the thought away refusing to be any more depressed.

A small frustration grunt escaped from my throat. I was so bored and I wanted so much to have my books and to think about something else! The worst was that I had already bought them before my vacation. They were in my apartment. In my room.

At this hour of the day, I knew nobody would be there. Tomoyo-chan was with no doubt at university and Eriol-san... well, even if he was there, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Maybe he could be useful...

I knew Syaoran-kun would disapprove, but I was so bored and he certainly wouldn't know; he was at work and I would be back before he would.

Plus, I was tired of him having to pay for me. I didn't want him to be my sugar daddy (even if he was far too young for that); I wanted him to be my boyfriend.

I stayed still for a few more minutes, wondering if I would really dare to go to my apartment alone, without Syaoran-kun knowing where I was... Oh the hell, with it!

I grabbed my boots that were covering most of my legs; I knew it was still really cold outside and my coat with a large hood falling over my head like one of a cloak. It was covering most of my features, but it was fashionable enough to do not look suspicious like a serial killer... Sometimes, I wonder where I take those comparisons...

I took the cell phone Syaoran-kun bought for me, perfectly knowing he had placed another tracking device into it... but atleast, this time, he had told him and I had let him. Then, I grabbed the key of the apartment and headed outside after putting my cell into my left boot. I didn't know what made me do this; I guessed it was because I was spending too much time with Syaoran-kun and his paranoia was slowly staining me.

On the streets, I walked slowly, taking my time so that my limping would be less noticeable. Finally, I took the metro, glad I could sit down for a while. It was so hot in the wagon that it was hard to resist removing the hood from my head, but I managed somehow. When I got outside once again, I had almost forgotten how could the air was. Taking one step after the other, I kept my head low, but still careful observed my surrounding; I wasn't as trained as Syaoran-kun or Li-san, but I wasn't stupid. I knew I had to be careful. Still, I didn't notice anything suspicious.

Once I got in front of the correct building, I took my keys out and introduced them into the lock of the door. I was beginning to feel stressful and I wondered if I taken a good decision. Still, it was too late to stop now; I was there, I might as well continue. Stepping into the building, I carefully climbed the stairs, listening for any sounds, but everything was silent.

Once again, I took my keys out and introduced them into the lock of my apartment's door. Slowly and noiselessly, I opened it, waiting for any sign of life; nothing. I got in and quickly closed the door.

Calmly, I made my way into my apartment, slowly heading toward my bedroom not caring to remove my boots; Tomoyo-chan was going to be furious, but I didn't want to take any risk.

Once in my room, I reached my bookcase and removed the books I wanted to bring with me; not too many because it was going to be awfully heavy. I grabbed my spare backpack from under the bed and began putting the books into it. Quickly, I turned towards the head of my mattress and lifted it, taking an envelope I had stuck there. It was money I kept for emergency. I carelessly put it into my bag before passing my arms through the straps.

It was then that I realised I was not alone anymore. A faint noise had vibrated in the calm atmosphere; something like the sound of clothes slightly brushing against each other. I didn't know how I had managed to catch it, but for the moment, I didn't care; I was not alone and that was dangerous.

Maybe it was Eriol-kun, but I was certainly not stupid enough to ask it aloud. Instead, I hid behind the door of my room and waited, controlling my uneasy breathing. I discretely peeked through the space between the door and the frame, seeing the whole hall. A man was slowly walking forward: toward my hidden place and he was not Eriol-kun, no doubt about it.

The stranger was wearing a sport coat and was dressed like he was doing his jogging; I had seen him before entering the building. He had been running on the other side of the sidewalk, but I had not been alarmed by him, because I had often seen him near here; he was living near the apartment. It was then that I realised how stupid I had been; of course there was a high chance I was being watched since the very beginning. If Tomoyo-chan and Touya were reincarnation like I was, there were a huge possibility that there would be others too. How stupid of me!

I watched the approaching man, motionlessly and noiselessly, waiting for an opening: Maybe I could escape... somehow... I had to atleast try; there was no way I would give this life with Syaoran-kun without a fight. Beside me was my desk where there was some of my esoteric stuff I had not touched since I don't know how many years. Silently, I took the dagger I had used to open magical circles and freed him from its sheath. It was absolutely not sharpened, but its tip was piercing enough. The question was would I be daring enough to trust it into the man's body; I didn't want to kill a man. I didn't. Hell! I didn't even want to hurt someone! However, at this moment, I couldn't think that way: it was me or him... If I could atleast just hurt him enough so he wouldn't be able to pursue me right away...

Finally, he got to my room, quietly stepping into it, his body slightly hunched forward, his head peeking into it to be sure nobody would jump him... and no one would... only my door. I abruptly pushed my door to close it into his face and violently hit his nose, blinding him. A muffled sound came from the impact and a loud and deep grunt escaped from the stranger. Quickly, I opened the door to see the man leaning on the opposite wall for support and holding his bleeding nose; maybe I had it broken. Seconds later, I was passing by him, running for the front door.

However, the man clumsily rushed towards me and stretched a bloody hand to grab my arm. Noticing this, I swirled around, my foot hurting madly, and swung the long knife I had tightly kept in my hand. I managed to slice the flesh of his arm through his coat with the tip of my weapon. He cursed and stopped chasing after me: maybe he had judged he had not signed for this and I bet he couldn't see really clearly either.

Rapidly, I got out of my apartment, hurtled down the stairs and headed outside. I couldn't step any further though: three men were crowding me, leaving me very little place to escape. I lifted the dagger and swung as efficiently as I could, but unlike the man into my apartment, those ones were prepared and there was no way I could give them a slip. It was over. I managed to hit and cut them a little, but I was no match. They seized my arms and threw me into a slightly long black car; something like a small limousine and left me into it. As soon as the door closed behind me, the car hummed and took its leave. A nearly completely opaque screen was separating me from the driver; I screamed and hit everything I could, but the doors were locked and there was nothing I would do. The men had confiscated my dagger and searched me for anything else. I was defenceless.

I knew my kidnappers were either my grandfather or Syaoran-kun's family because Touya-kun would never have used such terrible means to capture me and he had no such power and I knew neither had Li-san. Both of them, preferred to use much more discrete actions. Either way, it wasn't a lucky fact. I would die no matter what.

I removed the backpack from my shoulders and a bitter laughter escaped from my throat; all of this mess because of my stupidity and pride. Syaoran-kun had asked me once to have faith in him, to do not accomplish things alone, to be a team... but I failed him. I should have told him I was not comfortable with him buying everything for me. I should have told him I was not used to be taken care of. Maybe he could have helped me to understand, to accept his care. I realised something then: I hadn't known how to love. I had not understood love was not only a feeling, but an ability too and now that I was aware of that, it was too late... Or not. Maybe it was useless, but I couldn't restrain myself to try.

The bullies had not found my phone.

Quickly, because I didn't know when we would arrive to wherever I was being brought to, crumbled to ground of the car as if I was crying my heart out like a mad woman and dialled Syaoran-kun's number. He answered after the first ring.

"Damn it, Sakura-chan, why the hell did you leave the apartment? Are you in a taxi right now? Where are you going?" I guessed that Syaoran-kun was following me onto his cell phone. He was sounding so mad and I was somehow touched by it; I knew it was because he cared for me. Tears formed into my eyes, but a smile appeared on my lips.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so naive. I should have talked to you. I... They got me. I don't know where I'm heading. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry and that I love you. You taught me how to. I'll be searching for you in our next lives, I promise..." He angrily stopped me.

"I'm not giving up on you yet Sakura Kinomoto. You better hang on tight 'cause when I'll find you, you'll be in trouble!" I was really crying now and I knew he was going to do all he could to get me out of this mess. Suddenly, I realised the car was slowly waiting to enter into a parking.

"The car will stop soon. I don't know what will happen next. I have to hide the phone into my boot so they won't find it, but... if we don't see each other again... I know it sounds cheesy, but..."

"Cheesy, my ass! I love you Sakura and don't you dare forget that!" I had never heard him talk like this; he was beyond rage... and love.

"I love you too." I hung up and hid my phone into my boot once again.

Few minutes later, the car came to a complete stop and one of the door clicked unlocked. I sat up straight, showing my fiercest glare to the person who would appear before my eyes. The man was wearing a neat suit with an expensive tie. The hand holding on the door was old; I recognised it instantly since I had already seen it: only once, but the shiny watch on the wrinkled wrist was highly memorable. My grandfather was standing before me, calmly smiling.

"Hello, my child. I'm sorry it had to come to such extreme means, but you didn't give us much choice. Please, fasten your seatbelt; we're going to have a long ride." He got in the car and the door closed behind him. The car rolled on the streets once again.

"I must say, I was hoping you had more brain then heart. Your dear brother tried everything to keep you away from both me and this lover of yours, but it seems he failed. Your mother left me because she didn't want me to interfere with her children. Our family is highly careful with their offspring, you see, since we're the direct descendants of the brother of Ying Fa. Nadeshiko never understood the necessity to remain in control of them, of us. Humanity took over Mother Earth because it was more intelligent, more powerful. How could we let our own family ruin all those years of supremacy?" I stared at my own grandfather as if I was staring at a second Hitler; was he crazy?

"What do you win by keeping Syaoran-kun and I apart? By killing us?" He tilted his head to the side and offered me another smile as if he was explaining something awfully simple to a young child.

"Have you already forgotten that your death brings revolutionary inventions and discoveries. I'm a businessman. Your death would be quite a gain for our family. I just regret the useless death of your mother." His words were vibrating into my skull like echoes of gunshots in the silent night. It couldn't be any clearer: I was going to die, but atleast, maybe Syaoran-kun would be able to escape, to survive, to live a normal life.

But then, his last words formed a coherent thought in my head; without even trying to make any sense out of what he was telling me, but it had to false. It couldn't be, I was just letting myself being taken over by paranoia... there was no... way.

My whole body began to endlessly shake and I felt tears coming back. Slowly, I slid backwards until my back hit the locked door of the car and until the seatbelt was almost strangling me while grabbing my backpack, placing it onto my laps as if building a wall between my grandfather and me. When I got back my voice, what was meant to be a question became a certainty, a fact. I knew. In his eyes, I could see.

"You killed my mother, your own daughter."

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I believe the next chapter will be the last one. I had seen it coming, but I wasn't sure. My head was a bit messy...

And now, I have a huge headache... I'm such a cry baby lol.

I hope you liked this chapter, I think I like it. I think, lol. I'm not sure; you tell me what you think!

Have fun!

Lune-diamant


	15. No regret

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS. This story, yes.

NOT THE LAST CHAPTER!

Yep, that's true, it's not the last chapter; I wanted you too hate me some more, 'cause believe me, you're going to want me dead.

Remember, I said to some readers that I wasn't sure if Sakura and Syaoran-kun were gonna live. Well, I think I made my mind.

...

I think I'm better let you read. I'll talk later.

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* * *

**

**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter fifteen: No regret

Current era: Japan

"You killed my mother, your own daughter."

My grandfather frowned and his features transformed into something like sadness, but no matter how hard I looked, I never saw any sign of guilt.

"When we found out about Nadeshiko's children, a boy and his younger sister, I instantly put my foot down; I had let her escape from my watch, but the moment she gave birth to a boy and a girl, I had no other choice than to watch over your family afterwards, but your mother didn't want me to have anything with you two. However, your bother always was really smart and quick to understand; he had already gained all his memories and he knew why I was after your family. Therefore, he came to me and we made an agreement: I was to let his little sister alone while he was doing everything to keep you away from your dear lost lover. I seriously believed in him; it was the first time I saw the soul of Ying Fa's bother awaken so early... But I decided to help a little: if you ever were going to recover the memories of your past, it would have been awfully difficult to keep you by our side; you always had a rebellious mind and I wanted your brother to stay on my team... killing you would have awaken his suspicions and I would have lost him. So I had to... my dear daughter... I had to cause her death... One day, she was going to bring all your memories back, so... but it seems so useless now. Well, atleast she didn't get raped this time..."

As he was talking, torment was swirling between my ribs, pain was washing all sensation away except for this feeling of stabbing knife plunged into my chest. Breathing was difficult and tears of rage and sorrow were burning to ashes my eyes when I thought I had none left. When my answer came, an eternity had passed by; no matter how I tried to restrain my voice form shaking, it was still awfully broken.

"She was sick... she died of sickness... her hearth always had been weak..." Denial; I don't know why I went to denial; I was certainly not trying to innocent my grandfather... No. I was trying to push away the guilt: my mother had been killed because of me. If I hadn't been Ying Fa's reincarnation, she would have been able to pursue her dreams, to hold my father, brother and I in her arms, to smile and love. I lowered my head into my hands, shame and pain forbidding me to believe any strength was left within me. All was lost anyway. My grandfather looked almost apologetically at me; as if staring at a poor child who didn't know how hard could be this world.

"It is true; her heart was weak, making it easier to provoke a heart attack; an ally, a few drops in her drink at work and she was..."

"Stop! Stop it! You're completely insane! How can you tell me all those things?! How could you kill your own daughter?! Syaoran-kun and I are here to preserve the Earth; It's going to die! Because of you! Because of us, of everyone! How can you let this happen?! How can you be so calm about it?! So cold and calculating?!" My grandfather waved his hand like if he was sweeping away all my accusations.

"We'll find a way to take care of that..." I was way beyond politeness for an old man at this point so I felt no guilt to cut him off and raise my voice.

"When? When _grandfather_? It will be too late when you'll wake up from this dream of yours! Money and power won't be able to save you! No Kami-sama will be there for men if they continue to ignore them and do as they will!" My grandfather began to laugh.

"That's where you're wrong, my child. What do you think warned our ancestors of your treachery and sins? A spirit came to both the shamans of each clan, the twin brothers. You seem surprised, child, don't tell me you thought mankind had no spirit of its own. Every beasts have theirs, why wouldn't we? And we already were elevating ourselves over animals, so why wouldn't the human spirit do the same?"

My head was spinning and I felt sick; hope was leaving me. My mother had been killed and had gone through hell in all her past lives because of me, my father had been separated forever from his only love and forced to raise his children alone, my brother had kept an eye on me since his late childhood and I guessed so had Tomoyo-chan. All those people I loved, all of them hurt because of what I was. I could understand now why Marie-Rose had held so little hope and pride in her heart.

I looked at the huge building of the city, we were passing by rapidly. Everything seemed grey, lifeless and formless.

"What are you going to do with me? A deadly ritual so I will never come back on Earth?" My voice was nude and deep; there was no emotion attached to it, no worry, and no soul. My grandfather looked startled.

"Why would I want you to never come back into the living world?! Your death brings humanity power! I could never deprive men of this wonderful gift you're offering us!" Horror rushed back to me; I was going to walk on this dying planet for all eternity for the benefit of a demon! Could it get any worse?!

Suddenly, my ears picked up a noise; humming, rolling, growling... I quickly stared through the window at the source of the grave sound and saw a car coming straight towards the small limousine I was in. I bent down over my knees, my arms over my head and my bag somehow stuck between me and the door. It all happen in a fraction of second: so rapidly that I wasn't even sure I had been the one to move my own muscles.

The unknown car hit the passenger side, the one where my grandfather was sitting, right in the middle of the limousine. The following moment became so fuzzy and blurry that I couldn't even tell what had happened to the automobile I was into. However, I could feel; and all my senses were vibrating in chaos and pain. My body swung into nothingness to then violently bump into the door covered with thin leather. The sound of breaking glass and crashing metal deafened me. The world seemed to either vanish or swirl around me.

When I painfully opened my eyelids, I didn't know if I had lost consciousness or not; I wasn't even sure if I was still in the car. My head was spinning and I felt sick, but I managed to settle down my senses a bit.

I was still in the limousine, attached to my seat by the seatbelt, but the car was on his side. The door I was onto was laying on the ground and the other one was half opened, one side smashed in and the one where the lock should have been, pointed toward the sky. I looked at my grandfather, his limp body held back to his place by the seatbelt. I could see he was still breathing, but there was blood on him; I had no idea of where it was coming from.

Hastily, I unbuckled my seatbelt and somehow got onto my feet. My legs were shaking a bit too much for my liking, but still, it seemed I had nothing broken; I was bruised, really bruised, yes, but nothing was wrong enough to keep me from trying to escape.

I had very little problem to reach for the half opened door, but it was difficult to pass through its opening; I had to be careful to do not wake my grandfather and I only had my arms to get me out of there since there was nothing to really step on. Plus, the edges of the door were sharp and uneven and I could feel them even through my coat.

Finally, I managed to hoist myself out of the car, but the physical effort forcing my blood to run wild into my veins transformed for a moment my brain making all the noises of the outside world attack me full force; my head was throbbing with pain and my sight was shadowed by grey spots, but I held on; I had to escape and find Syaoran-kun.

I noticed the crowd gathering around the accident I had been caught into; they were still unsure of what to do, but some were already on their phone and others were carefully walking towards the crashed cars to see if they could provide some help. A man in his early forties rushed forward when he saw me getting out of the car; he seemed worry and harmless enough for me to do not push him away. In my clouded mind, I evaluated him as an innocent man.

Once outside, I sat onto the carcass of the limousine to jump down of it and the man came to help me, but when I noticed the automobile that had collided with the car I was into, I refused his help and rushed towards it.

I had seen this car only once, but I had never been able to forget it; it was the one he had been leaning onto the first time he came to me and kissed me. Syaoran-kun!

The front of the engine was awfully wrinkled and shortened. The windscreen appeared as a solid and murderous spider web. The car was slightly fuming, but there was no sign of coming explosion or fire like in action movies. As quickly as I could, I tiredly ran to the de luxe car and opened the damaged door.

Syaoran-kun was there, sitting on the driver seat, his head resting on the white air bag. Shaking like a leaf, I applied two fingers on the side of his neck, waiting for the collapse of my world. My legs almost gave up on me when I sensed the soothing sensation of his pulse under my fingertips. I somehow heard the man from earlier telling me not to move him, but I ignored him; I managed to get Syaoran-kun rid of his seatbelt and hoist him out of the car. I needed to hold him into my arms for as long as I could because I didn't know how much time was left before our foes would find us and take us away.

I could have run away and save my life, but I had no intention to do so. My place was near Syaoran-kun, in life and death, I knew so now. And even if our existences had brought misery to the people we loved, it had never been our fault! I couldn't blame myself or Syaoran-kun and I was ashame I had even thought about in the earlier moment of weakness and hopelessness. We were only born to love each other! How could this be so bad?! We were innocent and all the blood and monstrosities were on the hands of the one who had caused death and atrocities for money and power.

And if I had to vow on something, it would be on the love and hope Syaoran-kun and I were sharing. I wasn't afraid to die because I knew I would get back to him; I was his and he was mine. For the centuries to come I would still believe in us and in humanity too; because there were humans who were trying to help the world, to help the planet and this, despite all the obstacles greedy and egoist people were throwing at them.

There was hope. There would always be.

With the help of the man who was kind enough to do not ask question and to respect the silence I had locked myself into, I brought Syaoran-kun far from the crashed cars and crumbled to ground, his head resting onto my laps.

I could hear the vibrating sound of ambulances on their way; they were still far though. The man who had helped me was keeping people away saying we should not be surrounded; should have some space and air. I was grateful; this man was exactly showing the kindness I knew mankind was yielding within them.

Suddenly, an enraged growl erupted from the depth of the limousine. The twisted front door swung open, furiously hissing and screeching and the driver I had not seen when my bullies had threw me into the car hoisted himself out of it; it was the nephew of my grandfather! The one I had only met once when they had first tried to get a grip on me!

A glimmer of madness had established itself into his eyes and sweat was pearling on his face. I looked around, trying to spot any policeman into the unmoving crowd. None. Wobbly, he stood up between the wrinkled front of Syaoran-kun's engine and the underside of the limousine, trying to keep his balance. Some people were trying to help him, telling him to lie down on the floor and stay calm, and he absently let them hold him up while refusing to lie on his back.

I tenderly looked at Syaoran-kun, wondering if I was going to be able to see his soul piercing eyes before the end, because even if the authorities where coming, my grandfather had made clear he had a lot of allies and there was really little chance for us to live through this.

To my biggest joy, Syaoran-kun began to stir and grumbled. His face switched into a grimace when he tried to move his left leg; it was certainly broken. Slowly, his eyes opened and focused on my humid worried face.

"Syaoran-kun, you idiot, you're here!"

His lips parted and his voice sounded to me like the most pleasant music in the world.

"Had I not told you I would not give up on you?" He lifted his hand to caress my wet cheek.

"Kami-sama, Sakura, you're beautiful!" I slightly giggled.

"Of all the time to tell me this!"

"Au contraire, it's the perfect moment..." Suddenly, screams and gasps from the crowd broke our eerie; without any warning, the nephew of my grandfather had brandished a gun out of his jacket. His left arm was bleeding, leaning lifeless at his side, and his forehead was covered with blood, but he only needed his right arm to aim and shoot. The people who were trying to help him backed away in fear of the deadly weapon. And there still was no policeman in the now frightened and retreating crowd.

The man who had given me a hand stood by my and Syaoran-kun's side, petrified; he didn't know what to do. His instinct was telling him to flee, but his heart was advising him not to leave my lover and I alone.

I smiled up at him, making myself soothing.

"It's alright; go. Nothing will happen to us." The kind man looked unsure and on the verge of protesting.

"You certainly have a family, right? Don't risk everything; you did all you could do. Go. And thanks for everything." The man sadly nodded and slowly backed away. Somehow, I felt strong and peaceful; I was not afraid, not anymore.

People were now shouting to my cousin to drop the gun and that he would only get himself into trouble, but he was yelling even louder to everyone to stay away from us.

"If I see anybody, even if only a child, rush to me or them, I swear, I'll kill him!" His gun was now shakily pointing at Syaoran-kun and I; he was still trying to gather his strength to steady his aim. I had time for one last time...

I tore my eyes from my cousin to turn my sight towards Syaoran-kun's handsome face. The hand that had caressed my cheek earlier was now tenderly and lightly touching the base of my neck's sensitive skin, giving me pleasurable quivers. His eyes showed nothing else, but love and sweetness and I knew I was looking at him in the exact same way. His rich voice warmed my heart when he admitted his only sorrow.

"I wished I had been able to protect you this time."

"We had time to really learn about each other so I don't want to hear that. I'm pleased by this life."

"What do you want to hear then?" I smiled at him, the smile I knew I could show to only him and no one else.

"No regret?" He smirked.

"None." I lowered my head to capture his lips one last blissful time. It was all I needed to hear; we had spent all our lives feeling guilty, ashamed, and regretful when there was no need for us to be; this life had at the least teach me this. And even in front of Death's door, I felt no urge to hear him tell me he loved me for I knew he did as strongly as he knew I did to. The moment we exchanged this proof of our devotion to each other, I heard the deafening detonation of my cousin's weapon. Everything seemed to happen so slowly that I even had the time to think that I didn't care.

There was no need for me to care, I had received what I wanted; Syaoran-kun's love.

For Syaoran-kun and I, the time had stopped anyway; our kiss had given us warmth and tenderness. My whole body was on fire, but my mind was fresh and peaceful. The feeling of pleasure and joy was almost too intense to bear; a strong wind was swirling around me, caressing my skin and arousing my senses and it seemed like a void was being created into my chest as well as being filled. So many different feelings, but even so, so pleasant to experience altogether!

Light and warmth was erupting from the depth of my body as well as pouring into it and then, suddenly, a strong wave escaped from within my soul and heart... No... Not only mine; Syaoran-kun was responding in the same way I was and somehow, we melted together, unifying our souls and love. Behind my closed eyelids, into the inner light, I could see my soul mate smiling, offering me his hand. I slid mine into his with no hesitation and huddled up against his well-built chest.

We were one.

And if I had thought the last wave of energy had been powerful, the pulse that resulted from our embrace revealed itself to be even greater and purer.

I couldn't see anything; the only sensation was coming from Syaoran-kun's comforting presence, but I knew things...

I knew the energy we had just freed had run over Earth, cleared oceans, purified the air, short-circuited the machines built to destroy forests, awakened genius minds to ecological innovations... The power of Yin and Yang was giving humanity an other chance; was offering solutions and time. Time we would use to gain back our place in the order of this world, meaning a more humble one, simpler; humans were not above Earth and animals, they were there to give and receive.

However, greedy and power-lusting people who were far too stuck on their mad thirst were going to fade: Slowly and softly, leaving their fortune and power to people who would help Earth. That was the price they had to pay to erase their debts. I couldn't say I was pleased by this issue, but I knew it was beyond my will; Ying and Yand had to prevail. Give and take. Balance.

I knew that. As well as I knew the bullet that had been shot was now lying on the ground, by my and Syaoran-kun's side. As well as I knew that people around us had been knocked down by the energy we had released; they were safe. Safe from what would follow.

My cousin was not done. He had fallen down like the others, but he couldn't accept defeat; my grandfather wouldn't allow that.

Therefore, his gun was still steady in his hand, still pointing at us, unafraid to shout like he had just done a second before.

Syaoran-kun and I knew all that, but we didn't care. We had shared what no human could ever dream of and would again.

We would get back to each other eventually.

No regret.

Only love.

My cousin slowly pressed the trigger...

* * *

Do you hate me? Do you?

Lol, I wanted my last chapter to be interesting so I decided to put the final dramatic moment in the next one.

So, do you think they're gonna die? After all, they accomplished their mission. Or maybe only one will die, who knows? I do. I still have reincarnation as a consolation.

Lol, I'm so mean right now. I'm tired sorry, but atleast I'm not depressed or anxious because of my damned future.

By the way, I'd like to thanks BunnyParfait here, since I'm not gonna write to her personnaly because I'm publishing right now. Thanks for the compliment in your last message

And since I'm wrting about a reviewer (does the word even exist?), I might as well thank you all when I'm at it! You've been so great and so nice with me; even if this is internet, your kind words always reach me. And I'm thankful. I'll bid farewell more deeply in the next chapter lol. For now, I'm just gonna leave you so that you can send me a review.

Take care!

Lune-diamant


	16. I choose destiny

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CCS

Okay, so this week really sucked. Sorry but it is true. Yesterday, I could have killed someone while crying. Great, don't you think? Anyway. Moving on...

I finished the last chapter and I must say I'm not pleased with it. Than again, I really liked wrting this story so it's like my little baby; maybe it's why I feel the end will never be good enough. I have the impression it's like half last chapter, half epilogue.

This last chapter is longer than the other. My last gift to you, my dear readers!

Enough with my boring talking: READ and review!

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**Destiny against Choice**

Chapter sixteen: I choose destiny

Current era: Japan

Mind and heart illuminated by the blissful feeling of communion, I opened my eyelids only to set my eyes on Syaoran-kun's peaceful and handsome face. In a few seconds, we were going to die. In a few seconds, everything would be over.

And I wanted to see him one last time; to engrave his manly beauty into my soul.

He was gazing at me, as if seeing me for the first time. I knew a smile was playing on my lips. We were in our World.

We didn't even look my cousin's way when we heard the gunshot; we were all we needed to see.

But the pain never came. For a moment, I thought it was because I couldn't feel anything else than this heavenly sensation of warmth and unity.

However, Syaoran-kun and I quickly realised something was wrong; darkness was not surrounding us... We stayed this way, staring at each other for seconds that seemed to last hours, wondering if we could dare to look at something else than each other.

Finally, we tore our eyes from each other and turned them towards my dreadful cousin.

What we saw left me speechless: My cousin was still lying on the street, on his stomach, but his arm that had been holding the weapon was now weirdly bent in front of him and stuck under the neat shoe of a friend's foot... Eriol-kun! He was condescendingly smiling at him even if blood was running down from his left thigh. I had never seen him like that; he looked more than ever like a fox!

"Now, now. You are not playing fair... What would your mother say? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Bad boy. You lost; now leave the two lovebirds alone, will you?" I could almost hear my cousin gritting his teeth in pain and rage.

"Go to hell bastard!" Eriol-kun's gaze turned hard and he looked even more like a beast.

"Fine. Don't come whining back to me because I didn't warn you." He bent down over my cousin and applied his hand on his forehead; my cousin, being generally hurt and disabled, didn't put much of a fight. I couldn't see what happened next because Eriol-kun's body was blocking my sight, but few seconds later, he stood tall once again and his carefree expression had crept back onto his face, smiling once again.

Calmly, he stepped back from my cousin's form. I was afraid to ask what he had done to him, but I couldn't help, but do so, morbid curiosity taking the best of me.

"What... What did you do to him?" My voice was uneven and hoarse as if I had not spoken since ages. I was afraid of the answer; I didn't want Eriol-kun to be guilty of murder. Since childhood, he had dreamt of defending innocent people and help them; it would be awfully cruel of the fox spirit to make Eriol-kun to kill someone, even if perfectly derange and dangerous, when all my friend had dreamt of since he was a kid was to erase suffering.

Focusing of Syaoran-kun and I, Eriol-kun's features softened and his smile became sincere.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan. Your malevolent cousin is not dead. He is dreaming and he will be held captive into his illusions until he is ready to find in him the sanity to be human. He'll be taking care of." The tension that had been building up inside my chest vanished with a heavy sight I exhaled while my head dropped down, suddenly too heavy to hold high anymore.

Syaoran-kun who's head was still lying on my laps, motionless until then, carefully sat up, trying not to move his wounded leg, and enveloped my sagged shoulders with one arm; I rested my head on his hard muscles. I couldn't do anything anymore; I was too exhausted, too stressed out that I couldn't even celebrated the fact that Syaoran-kun and I were both still alive.

My lover understood my untold thoughts and took the lead.

"Are we safe? Is it over now?" Eriol-kun cocked his head to the side.

"Over? No. Not all. Life is yours now. It's a beginning for you two. Not an end."

"What about my grandfather." My friend genuine smile didn't falter.

"I'm sorry to announce that your grandfather died of his wounds in his car." Somehow, I wasn't sure if it really was the truth. I had the feeling the spirits had something to do with his death, but I knew that eventually, he would have die anyway because his core was deeply rotten, stained by the thirst of power for centuries. Even so, I couldn't help, but feel sad about the horror's presence in men's heart. Atleast, now I knew that without it, we couldn't even know what good was. I knew; Ying and Yang. I knew; Balance.

I felt Syaoran-kun's embrace tighten around my shoulder as if feeling my discomfort.

"Why is everyone so still and unaware of us?" It was true; I had not noticed it before. Around us, people were like in a dream, moving extremely slowly; getting up and looking around them, but blind to everything. They seemed surprised and puzzled. But most of all, so slow!

"Kitsune kami-sama, remember? Illusion is my gift; for them, time seems to flow normally. I'll wake them up soon, but first, it's business time!" Syaoran-kun and I both stayed silent, holding each other. The feeling of blissfulness was long gone and we were even more dead tired, envious to both get some rest.

"Don't worry; what I have to tell you won't take too much of your energy." I wondered if he had emphasized the "I" or if it was only my imagination.

"In the name of all the kami-samas, I'd like to thank and congratulate you both for your union. It took you long enough to figure out what it was all about, but I must say we and your pursuers didn't really help." I knew Syaoran-kun had a murderous blaze burning in the depth of his eyes.

"Oh brother! Don't look at me like that, I'm kidding. Still, we couldn't say anything about your unification not necessarily implying sex because you had to find this on your own. I know Sakura-chan that you were troubled by this task and it pained you, but this experience made you stronger and you both grew from this situation." I heard Syaoran-kun grumbled about Eriol-kun being a "damn cheap rubbish psychologist" and I nudged him; I wasn't sorry of this series of tests we had been forced to pass, because Eriol-kun was right. It was thanks to them that I had been able to realise what loving someone and being loved really meant. No regret.

Syaoran-kun relaxed a bit and allowed Eriol-kun to continue his little speech.

"The human spirit will be taken care of; he was jumping from one human form to the other to hide from us for millennium now, but he won't cause any more trouble. No human will ever remember his previous life again." I was startled by this revelation; I didn't know how to react.

"What does that mean?"

"It means your friends and family will never remember their past life... and we decided to give you a gift... It will be harder for Ying and Yang to unite, but we thought your souls have suffered enough. Therefore, you won't gain back your memories either. You won't have to remember your family's death or suffering. It's the best we can do for you two."

"I don't want that!" It had escaped my lips without me knowing it and I instantly regretted my outburst; I had no right to say that without asking Syaoran-kun what he thought of it. Maybe he did want to forget everything; to start anew.

However, I felt his warm lips on the top of my head before his voice vibrated into the suspended air.

"Our memories, our pain, our guilt make us what we are; we accept it." I stared at Eriol-kun, watching his reaction. His smiled widened and he chuckled.

"Ying and Yang really chose wisely their receptacle. Alright. You'll remember everything. Most of all remember this: you two gave time to mankind, but Earth won't wait eternally. Syaoran-san, you have power and money; spread the word. Just a little push into the right direction and everything will get in movement." Eriol-kun stopped and seemed to listen to something for a moment.

"Alright, so I think I said everything I needed to, now is time to gather your strength because I won't be of much help." Suddenly, the fox-like features vanished from Eriol-san's face and body, merely a second before I heard a recognisable scream into the buzzing air.

"Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo-chan appeared from somewhere in the crowd of dreamers and rushed towards us, but as soon as she saw Eriol-kun, she stopped dead in her track.

"Eriol?! What are you doing here? How did I get here? We'll see that later. Sakura-chan what's happening?! I don't understand! And get away from him; it will only bring you pain and despair!" Eriol-kun quietly and calmly walked to his lover and wrapped her trembling body into his arms while I managed to stand up.

"As for Eriol-kun, I'll let him explain some other time, but concerning Syaoran-kun and me, we won't be able to be broken apart Tomoyo-chan. We are destined to be with each other and what was dreading our ancestors already happened and it wasn't destruction as they thought but renaissance! Earth was dying Tomoyo-chan! Syaoran-kun and I were the only one who were able to do something about it. I know it's crazy, but..." While talking, I could see Eriol-kun whispering something to my best friend; her eyes were focused on me and she was listening to me, but I knew she was processing what was Eriol-kun saying. After a while, he stopped and she slowly looked at him.

"I understand. We'll talk about this later. This place isn't safe and Li-san needs to see a doctor." I was puzzled, but glad I didn't have to explain anything else for the moment.

Suddenly, two forms appeared the same way Tomoyo-chan had. Distractively, I heard Eriol-kun amusingly praising the fox spirit for his taste for drama. I understood Tomoyo-chan's appearance was his doing and I didn't mind it much because she had always tried to protect me with the most soft and caring way, but those two... Touya and Li-san.

At first, all they saw was each other and like dogs, they began to growl; these two had a huge problem... but mine was even bigger: Syaoran-kun was hurt and therefore not much in shape to escape from my brother's wrath. I instantly stood in front of my lover, each foot on each side of his legs and my back turned to him. I pleadingly looked at Tomoyo-chan, quietly begging for her help to mask Syaoran-kun. Quickly, she and Eriol-kun ran to our side and positioned themselves a bit behind my lover while he tried to brush me off not wanting me to protect him. I didn't listen and ignored his arms, pushing them away; he had always protected me, now it was my turn... even if it meant facing Li-san too. All this took only seconds.

And then, they saw us.

Touya's furious frown grew deeper and he instantly rushed towards my little group. Li-san showed more fright for her cousin than rage though; she knew something had been done.

My brother reached for my arm and tried to yank me away from Syaoran-kun, but I pulled my weight backwards to resist his iron steel grip.

"Stop it! Touya, stop!"

"Stop? You want me to stop?" He almost laughed. "You're asking me to stop protecting you? To stop caring for you? No way Sakura! Over my dead body! I won't let you destroy your life for a man! I swear I'll kill him right now if you don't go with me this instant." My lips parted to free a scream of protest, but Li-san beat me to it.

"One only move towards Syaoran and you're both dead Kinomoto!" I saw her getting out the gun I had already seen too much to be healthy. My brother grunted.

"Oh, don't worry, we're leaving this instant. Tomoyo-chan, I'd like to knock some sense in your head too when this mess is under control." On those words, he harshly took my right arms over his head while putting his shoulder under my stomach to then get back straight up with me trapped in his grip. I heard Syaoran-kun protesting and then wincing in pain; he couldn't do much with his leg broken.

I saw Eriol-kun sneaking behind Li-san while she was aiming at my brother and me with her weapon. She was far too focused on us to care about the outside world. He rapidly slid his arms under Li-san's armpits and then placed his forearms behind her neck. Her arms were stuck upwards while she couldn't even move a muscle for it would cause her pain.

"Tomoyo, my love, if you could just take her gun please." I couldn't believe how calm and poised Eriol-kun was at this weird and edgy moment. But I took this as my cue to free myself; not with struggling, I had tried and it was useless, but with words.

"Touya, let me go this instant! It's over! Don't you see?! It's over; Syaoran-kun and I did it!" My brother stopped dead in his track. For a moment, I thought it was because he was considering the matter, but I soon realised my mistake. Touya almost threw me down and strode back, too angry to even run, to my lover while yelling his head off.

"You slept with my little sister! You asshole! You're gonna pay that, I assure you!" I immediately ran between him and Syaoran-kun, blocking his way as efficiently as a huge boulder; passion giving me strength.

"Touya, that is enough! We didn't do anything of the sort! We didn't need to! And even if it was the case, it wouldn't be any of your business! But you don't get the point here; it's over! We don't have to run anymore! I can be with him! There's nothing…" My brother stopped me from saying anything else.

"It never will be over Sakura! Over and over again, you'll have to come back on Earth and suffer this whole masquerade. You won't have any choice! And the people who want you two dead are still there." Tears appeared in my eyes and rolled down on my cheeks.

"You had the choice to live a life less complicate with a woman, but you chose Yukito-kun. Would you change everything? Would you accept to be taken away from him even if your life depended on it?"

"I would if it was to save him." Syaoran-kun dared to talk back to my brother.

"We don't want to be saved; we want to love each other because it is the only way for us to truly live."

"And you don't have to fear Earth's enemies now; they'll quickly disappear." My brother began to breathe more deeply.

"What do you mean Eriol-san?" Eriol-kun smiled; a pale shadow of how the fox spirits had used his lips.

"Exactly what I just said. The spirits are taking care of those remaining problem." Touya frowned and almost growled.

"Why now? Why taking so much time and letting my sister and my family suffer for so many centuries, but help now?" Eriol-kun looked away, as if he was responsible for all those years of inactivity.

"The kami-samas were gathering their strength to be able to take action into the material world. They are not almighty. They did what they could… and now it is time to forget and let those two live in peace. They deserve it." Touya grunted and I noticed Li-san's muscles relaxed a bit. Eriol-kun released her.

"Syaoran-kun, is it really what you want?" She was still hoping… after all that time, she was still hoping and I felt sorry for her; Li-san had lost so much time for someone who wouldn't return her feelings. Syaoran-kun loved her, yes, but not like she wanted him to.

He answered her by a nod and she sighed, finally defeated and letting go all hope. I guessed she needed this to forget him; Li-san needed to know there was no more hope for him to do not be with me. She had always thought he just couldn't be with me for his own good, but now, she knew it wasn't the case. She was too tired to fight for him anymore.

My brother though was more reluctant to let go the grudge.

"I swear, brat, if you ever make her suffer, you'll deeply regret it!" I joyfully sighed, glad I could at last relax a bit and not be afraid of either Syaoran-kun or I getting killed.

"Let's go home."

The World got back to normal.

Current era: Japan

It had taken some time for Eriol-kun to explain his whole situation with Tomoyo-chan, but she had eventually forgiven him and they both were still the perfect little couple; they were even planning to get married soon.

We all had been in obligation to explain each others. I had to know what had done Touya for me, what had done Li-san and what knew Tomoyo-chan and they wanted to know the whole story of course of Syaoran-kun and me.

After a week or so, Li-san got back to China to explain the situation to the remaining of her family; a lot had somehow disappeared or died. She was positive Syaoran-kun and I would be safe and unharmed by his family. Except if we didn't went to see my lover's mother after he was healed; she had lost a husband and she had certainly not be willing to agree to his purchase even if she had tried to keep him under her guard when he was still in Hong Kong.

Life took back its normal course; I went back to studying psychology and Syaoran-kun got back to leading his business.

My brother made sure to pass by my and my friend's apartment as many time as he could to stop me to always be at Syaoran-kun's place. Of course, he was often deceived to see that I was, in fact, absent. My lover had his leg in plaster and I surely wasn't going to leave him alone in his big apartment. Contrarily to my brother, Syaoran-kun didn't complain at all; he was glad to have me all to his self. Neither he nor I had told to Touya where he was living.

About a month after the final fight, as they would say in epic novels, we all gathered, except for Li-san since she was still in China taking care of family matter, into my lover's apartment to celebrate the withdrawal of his plaster (and to the relief of Touya, we at last, told him where Syaoran-kun was living). Even my brother was there with Yukito-san, but Touya's presence mostly meant he wanted to keep an eye on Syaoran-kun. I was so glad Yukito-san was there to reduce my brother's vehemence. Tomoyo-chan would think this word was a bit too strong, but I must say I was a bit frustrated to do not be able to even sit by Syaoran-kun's side, my brother make sure of that.

Atleast, the evening's atmosphere was eased by the discussion over the planning of the upcoming wedding of Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-san. The night was… let's say funny to watch.

At the end of the evening, I noticed a change in Eriol-kun's features and Tomyo-chan noticed it too; he somehow looked more like a fox…

Seeing he had been caught, Eriol-kun decided to explain his appearance.

"Sorry to crash into your little party, but I had something to share with our two lovebirds." He playfully smiled, and kept silent for a while to imprint some dramatic effect in the air.

"What is it?" My brother wasn't impressed at all, but Yukito-san was wondering what was happening even if Touya had told him the whole story.

"I came to tell you that eventually your two souls won't be necessarily needed anymore for balance." Syaoran-kun frowned, not understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"It means a new soul will appear on Earth thanks to you two and it will reunite both Ying and Yang. His death in future life will not mean the advancement of humankind, but the refreshment of Earth, so he'll be protect of any harm coming from power lusting people. But don't worry, your wish you told me before will still be granted; we owe you this much." I still couldn't understand what he was implying.

However, Tomoyo-chan burst into a happy scream and jumped on me, wrapping my shoulders with her arms.

"Your baby! Your baby will be the symbol of balance of this world." Realisation petrified me; there was absolutely no way I could be pregnant! And by no way, I mean no way.

My brother didn't know that though; all he knew was that I was often at my boyfriend's apartment; he saw red.

"You're dead man!" I jumped in front of him and pushed him back on the couch.

"I'm absolutely not pregnant Touya! Eriol-kun said "eventually" and what I do with Syaoran-kun is my business! I'm twenty, for Kami-sama's sake!"

Yukito-kun started to laughed and patted Touya shoulder while my brother continued to huff and grunt.

The moment to say goodbye came a few hours later and my brother was still a bit fuming to Yukito-kun's amusement. Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-kun were the first to bid their farewell before heading home. I saw my best friend's boyfriend murmuring something to my lover, but couldn't catch what was said; I would have to ask him later. Then, I led my brother and Yukito-kun outside the apartment, telling them goodbye before quickly getting back into Syaoran-kun's place and closing the door. I heard my brother's muffled protests going on during five minutes before he actually gave up.

I giggled and turned towards my boyfriend who was now sitting on the back of the couch, facing me and intensely eying me. I paused and tilted my head to the side.

"What is it? You look just like the first day we talk to each other, when you were waiting for me, leaning on your car." He smirked and slowly walked towards me until he was too close for me to go anywhere, his arms extended and his hands resting on the door, on each side of my head while my back was to the door.

"Maybe it's because I'm about to do what I did back then." The sweat sensation of his presence filled my senses, soothing any normal stress due to our little family reunion I had been victim of... if I can put it this way.

I knew Syaoran-kun felt like playing; he had that look in his eyes and after all this time passed together, I had finally managed to resist, even if only a bit, his disarming charm. I had found a trick: show no weakness.

Therefore, I quickly got onto the tip of my toes and reach for his lips, allowing him to give me a kiss for only a second or two. Then, I escaped from his trap by rushing under his arms and quickly walked towards the living room to get clean the remaining of our little party.

"Now that we've kissed, you should go to bed; you have work tomorrow and you should rest. After all, they only remove your plaster today." I threw a glance at my lover whose hands were still on the door, his head low and heavily sighing. He suddenly chuckled.

"Do you remember what you told me about the reason you went to your apartment on the day of the accident? Wasn't it because you didn't want me to act like your father? Well the same goes for me; don't act like my mother, you're my lover." I turned towards him after putting the dishes into the sink, smiling.

"But doesn't a lover help her boyfriend? Oh! I was wondering... What did Eriol-kun tell you before leaving?" Syaoran-kun smirked while walking to the kitchen to join me.

"I don't know if you need to know that..." I pouted, putting my hands on my hips; I hate secret when they're told right under my nose.

Once by my side, Syaoran-kun unexpectedly put his hands on my waist and lifted me to make me sit on the kitchen's counter.

"Syaoran-kun, your leg! Be careful!" He silenced me with a kiss more to his liking; breath taking, intense and barely concealed passion. His touch was making me feel dizzy and lightheaded. When his lips released mine, I realised my hands had found their way towards his collar and were playing with it, keeping him close to me. His voice came soft and deep into my ears.

"What did you think about what the fox spirit told us?" I rested my forehead on his shoulder.

"I thought...It doesn't change a thing for me. I love you, Ying Yang or not. I believe in us... and I'm not surprise to learn I'll have a child with you one day. I wouldn't want it any other way... I just don't want one right now... What about you?"

"I'm all yours. I'll take everything you give me." I nodded, rising my head to meet his intense eyes.

"Now, will you tell me what Eriol-kun said to you?" Syaoran-kun smirked once again, recognising my attempt to take advantage of this moment of intimacy. Then, he took me into his arms before closing the lights and carefully crossing the huge room while I was furiously protesting for the well-being of his leg. I soon realised it was absolutely no use to complain and stopped. In the dark, I couldn't see his face, but I could hear in his voice a very slight hesitation.

"He wished us fun tonight." My cheeks instantly burnt up while my heart skipped a beat. Syaoran-kun gently put me down onto the bed and slowly began to stand up straight, but I hastily grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back to me before kissing him. Breaking the kiss once I was deeply out of breath, I released him and stared at his shadowed face.

"Close the curtains." Syaoran-kun executed my orders and came back to me. I left the bed to stand up in front of my boyfriend and rested my fingers on the collar of his shirt, playing with it and desperately trying to remember the correct words.

"Je vous aime monsieur." He sighed, lowered his head and smiled against my lips.

I had already given him my soul; now I was ready to offer my whole self. For the good reason.

Syaroan-kun was the one for me.

And I was his. For all eternity.

THE END

* * *

So? Did you like it? Okay, now I'm stressed...

To those who send reviews, I'll be answering all of them as I always do (though I think I didn't answer some last chapter...I'm not sure I have a bad memory).

I don't know when I'll be posting a new story. I have an idea in mind, but it's really foggy and unclear and I don't know if you'll like it... So you might not hear from me for months.

That is why I thank you now all very sincerely for reading my story. I thank all the readers as well as the reviewers (if the word even exists)! You have been so great with me and so patient! Knowing my story was appreciated was a great help to write it and come with ideas.

Merci beaucoup!

Prenez soin de vous! (Take a guess, I often say that: Take care)

Lune-diamant


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